Month: June 2016

Goodbye America! #BitterSweet

On By Rachel ChadalavadaIn Future, Life, Uncertainty3 Comments

As I laid my head down to rest last night, I wondered how I would react to waking up to the knowledge that my time in America had finally come to an end. Today, I got to the airport, bid my family goodbye, walked through the security lines and got lost in the crowd. I was mentally prepared to fall apart. But you know what? I didn’t! Surprisingly I was at immense rest. This must be what the Bible calls being led by God’s peace.

As I went through check-in, security check, transit and finally boarded my international flight, I saw many moments of God’s undeniable goodness even in something as insignificant as my journey back home. I’m sure He has better things to worry about but He evidently just poured out undeserving favor on my travel and let me tell you how.

Wrapping up three years of your life into 2.5 suitcases is unfortunately not as easy as you’d think it is. I stressed all of yesterday trying to pack. Out of sheer desperation, I raised my baggage from 50lbs to 70lbs, mentally telling myself it was worth the extra cost. I also had a carry on luggage, a very full backpack and a large purse. I was concerned that I will be penalized for my inability to shrink my life to fit the airlines’ baggage policy! As I walked up to the check-in counter, I nervously weighed my bags and the woman behind the desk put the “heavy weight” tag on. While I waited for her to slap me with a steep fee, she smiled at me and said, “Don’t worry about it.” Bewildered I looked at her while she kept smiling at me saying, “Ma’am, don’t worry about it.” Tell me that wasn’t the Lord?!!! When was the last time an airline waived 20lbs extra baggage??? My point exactly!

My travel itinerary included a domestic leg from Knoxville to Chicago and international leg from Chicago. If you know anything about international flights, you’ll know that they can be very snooty about baggage size, purse size and carry on. I was not following any of their regulations. I got past domestic check-in with ease. How was I supposed to handle international check-in? As I walked to the international terminal, I found out I didn’t have to go through international check-in at all. This meant, my baggage wasn’t going to be a problem. Tell me that wasn’t the Lord?!!! When was the last time you could board an international flight without having your carry on baggage weighed??? My point exactly!

Relieved to get past all security and baggage issues, I sat down by my gate, waiting to board. As I people watched, lo and behold I see a dear dear friend running toward me. He had a layover in Chicago and changed terminals to come see me. Oh how I was filled with joy! Tell me that wasn’t the Lord?!!! When it was time to board my flight, I gave my friend one last tight hug and bid him adieu. Waving my American friend goodbye, I felt like it was a symbolic reference to me waving goodbye to this country that I called home for 3yrs. And instead of being filled with sadness, I was filled with an overwhelming sense of peace. This must be what the Bible calls being led by God’s peace!

As I stand on the threshold of a new beginning, a brand new chapter in my life, I see God’s hand in these tiny aspects of my life. Isn’t it funny that even though I’m going back to the familiarity of the country I was born and raised in for 26yrs, it still feels like I’m entering a whole new world… Wandering into unchartered territory if you will! But I realize, if the Lord took this much care for the small things in my life, such as my baggage, how much more will He care for the bigger things in my life? How much thought and planning Hw must put into what seem like the uncertainties of my life?! Even though I am sad to have left my new friends, family, community and my life in America behind me, I realize it’s time for me to start afresh. It’s time for me to reunite with my family, catch up with old friends and build new community. It’s time for me to once again trust the Lord and know for a fact that He knows exactly what He is doing. Life will go on and in His time, He will make all things beautiful! While I don’t know what the future holds, I know without a shadow of doubt, WHO it is that holds my future! This is what it must feel like to be the daughter of the Prince of Peace! So India my love, I hope you’re ready for me because here I come!

In closing I have to say – I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord!

Enjoy the Free Fall

On By Rachel ChadalavadaIn Future, Life, UncertaintyLeave a comment

In four days I will be leaving Boone for good, and in ten days I will be bidding America adieu. While I know without a shadow of doubt that I am, at this very moment, in the center of God’s will, for the first time in my life, I have no plan. I have NEVER, not had a plan. But this time, as I watched the Lord shut the door to staying in America, I decided I wanted to enjoy every single minute that I spend here before I leave this country that I have grown to love. Because of this, I have consciously chosen not to think or plan about life in India, until I actually leave American soil and land on Indian ground. When I get to India, I know that the Lord will reveal to me what He wants me to do there. After all, He is the one taking me there.

So, as part of my intentional, “Enjoy America while you can” attitude, I decided that I was going to check at least one thing off of my bucket list. On June 6, 2016, I signed several accident and death waivers, strapped myself to a harness and jumped off a plane at a height of 10,000 feet. Yes, I went Skydiving! It was the most phenomenal experience I’ve ever had. I would do it again in a heartbeat and I highly recommend that everyone do it at least once in his or her lifetime! I know I say this now that my feet have safely grounded themselves on land. But, I have to admit, when I drove up to the Skydiving center in DC, I was nervous. I wasn’t going to back out of it of course but I kept wondering what possessed me to give in to this insanity. As I sat through the instructions of what was expected of me when I jump off the plane, I thought to myself, “This instructor is nuts if he thinks I’m going to remember all of that when my heart is lodged tightly in my throat.” Thankfully, he ended the training by reminding us that we will be strapped to an instructor who knows exactly what he is doing.

As my instructor strapped on my harness, he reminded me that he had over 7,000 jumps under his belt and that because he was in charge, I had nothing to worry about. He said that when we get on the plane, he would strap himself on to me and would instruct me every step of the way, at the right time – Not too soon. Not too late. So, placing my trust and literally my entire life in the hands of this complete stranger, I got on to the tiny jet with about nine other people. While we were on the plane, my instructor began working on strapping my harness on to his own. I hadn’t a clue of what he was doing and honestly, even if he explained it to me, I’d probably not understand. All I knew was that he was tugging at the various straps on my harness and constantly giving me instructions – stand up, sit down, move to the front, lean back, bend to the side… I had no idea why he was asking me to do these but I obeyed implicitly. I didn’t question him because I knew that he was my instructor. He knew what he was doing.

Finally, it came time for us to slide to the door of the plane. As he gave me final instructions, he reminded me that he knew exactly what he was doing and that all that was required of me was to simply follow his instructions as and when he gave them. With a quick “1, 2, whoa!” my instructor pushed us out of the 10,000 ft high plane and we began the downward spiral to the ground. As I felt the rush of the free fall, I couldn’t believe what I had done. I could see the Blue Ridge Mountains to my left, the glorious sky around me, the white cotton-ball-like clouds above me and the hard ground below me. As we were falling, my instructor tapped on my shoulder and instructed me to arch my back and raise my hands and legs to enjoy the free fall. And you know what? As I paid heed to his instruction, I did just that – I enjoyed the free fall. I didn’t care that I didn’t know my instructor’s plan. I didn’t care that I could splat on the ground very hard and very fast. I didn’t care that I was at the mercy of the wind swaying me in every possible direction. I didn’t care that my parachute wasn’t open. Heck I didn’t even know where the parachute was. I just knew that my instructor knew when to open the parachute and as long as he knew when to open it, I was fine. After an amazing 60secs free fall, my instructor pulled the parachute open and the pressure of the winds pulled us high up into the sky. While gliding through the sky, I once again felt my instructor tugging at my harness. Let me repeat myself here – My instructor and I were in mid air and he was working on my harness! One wrong move and I could easily get detached from him, fall to the ground and die! But I wasn’t scared. I completely trusted him. I trusted that he knew exactly what he was doing. He loosened the harness to make me more comfortable and eventually allowed me to even maneuver the parachute. Soon, he gave me instructions on landing and before I knew it, my butt gently grazed through the grass and I was back on the ground.

As my skydiving experience came to end, I realized that I did more than check something off my bucket list… I had learned a very practical and powerful lesson on faith and trust. Today I stand on the threshold of a very uncertain future. I can feel my Lord, the great Instructor working behind the scenes and I know without a shadow of doubt that He knows exactly what He is doing. I don’t see it. In fact, I don’t see anything. I don’t hear Him give me any instructions right now. But I know that I as I sit in that plane and head back to India, at just the right time, He will give me tell me what to do. At just the right time, He will reveal His plans. Until then, I choose to take comfort in the fact that I am tightly harnessed to the Lord. He has got my back. He’s holding me. He knows where the parachute is at and He knows when to open it. He knows how to maneuver it. He knows exactly what He is doing. And because of this, as I take this leap of faith into the next chapter of my life, I choose to enjoy the free fall… the rush that comes in fully and completely placing my faith, my hope and my trust in my Instructor, my Best Friend, my Father and my God, who is the Lord Jesus Christ.

If you, like me are headed for the unknown, unable to see what the Lord is doing or where He is leading you, may I encourage you – take the leap. Enjoy the free fall. You won’t regret it. The great Instructor has your back. He knows exactly what He is doing and when the time is right, He will instruct you in what you should do. And who knows, He may even let you maneuver the parachute!

In closing I have to say – I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord!

Neha and I getting ready to board the plane
All harnessed up
Heading to the door of the plane
1, 2, whoa!
Free Fall
Free Fall
The parachute is now open
Can you see me maneuvering the shoot?

Goodbye Silver Bullet

On By Rachel ChadalavadaIn Chaos, Future, LifeLeave a comment

Today was a very hard day for me as I bid farewell to my beloved Silver Bullet – my precious Toyota Solara – the first car I ever owned! He and I had so many adventures together. We went on spontaneous drives all over North Carolina; Surprised friends for their birthday in Virginia; Made numerous midnight ice-cream runs; Braved the snowmageddon and battled several rain storms. Today, with just one signature, Silver Bullet went on to invest in someone else’s life.

With teary eyes and a broken heart, I watched someone else drive away with him. He is no longer mine.

Silver was so much more than a car to me. He was God’s first magnanimous tangible act of faithfulness toward me. He used Silver to convince me that He was calling me to Boone, North Carolina, to be a part of Samaritan’s Purse and Operation Christmas Child. Walk with me as I relive this phenomenal story.

In early September 2015, I was offered an Associate position with Operation Christmas Child. While I was desperate for a job, I was hesitant on taking up this position because being an Associate meant that my position would only last for four months. So when January of 2016 came, I would once again be in a place of waiting and at the time, I was ready to be done with waiting. I just wanted to rest. I wanted to settle down. But I had no other open door in front of me. So, I soaked this opportunity in prayer and asked the Lord to make it very clear to me if Boone was where He was calling me. Now Boone is a tiny city of about 18,000 people and living here is impossible without a car. At the time I was using my uncle’s car so I didn’t even think about what I would do after I returned it to him.

One day, a friend I had never met in person, but who was helping me make the transition to Boone, texted me. She told me that she was praying for me and that the Lord had already provided a car for me when I came to Boone. I didn’t quite understand what she meant. I just presumed that she knew of someone selling a car and would give me that information later. Instead, she continued her text to say that she had a car and wasn’t going to need it in a couple months. She wanted to GIVE me the car. You read it right! She didn’t SELL me the car. She just GAVE it to me. Not only that, but she was able to give me the car in November, which is the exact time I needed to return my uncle’s car to him. Now tell me that wasn’t God! Clearly He went ahead of me and met my need for a car even before I realized I had the need. That day I was completely overwhelmed by what the Lord had done and how He had provided for me. Even though I bawled my eyes out in gratitude, I sat there in disbelief. In November when my friend signed the car title over to me, I was overwhelmed, speechless and in total awe of what the Lord had done.

Today, as Silver’s new owner drove him away, I bid him a teary adieu. I tried to not cry but how could I control myself? Silver is no longer mine. But I know that he will faithfully serve his new owner. As I think about Silver, I also see that in giving him to me, the Lord kept me from making any long-term investments that would have affected my finances greatly as I now leave the country. The Lord saw everything ahead of time. He knew exactly what He was doing then. Because of this, I have no doubt that God knows exactly what He is doing now and it will be for my good.

In closing I have to say – I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord!

IMG_4188

Growing Pains

On By Rachel ChadalavadaIn Chaos, Future, LifeLeave a comment

“Wait! What???” “Why this?” “Why here?” “Why now?”.

These are often questions that we ask ourselves when things don’t necessarily go our way. When life ceases to make sense we wonder what happened. What went wrong? If there’s anyone who knows what that feels like, it’s me!

I have lived in India my whole life. I was comfortable, satisfied and deeply content with where I was and what I was doing. I had a good job, a loving family and dear friends. I had no reason to move – except, I had no peace! I knew that God was calling me out of my comfort zone. When I said yes to coming to America, I gave God an ultimatum (not my smartest of moves). I told Him I’d give him 2 years and that’s it! But the more I waited on Him, the more He made it evident that my time in America was longer than 2 years. As someone who is part of a close knit family, accepting this was by far the hardest thing I’ve had to do. Since the time I came to the United States in 2013 to pursue higher education, I have come to realize that God never called us to a life of comfort. I felt like I was uprooted from everything familiar, holding on hastily for even a remote sense of identity! I had no friends, no family, and no community. I knew that I was exactly where I was supposed to be but it didn’t feel that way at all. Until, I came to the point of realizing that my identity is in Christ. He is my friend. He is my family. He is my community. He IS enough! 

Through these 3 years in America I’ve learned that getting comfortable means settling. When we settle, we don’t grow. If we don’t grow, we can’t bear fruit. And we are definitely called to bear fruit. Jesus says in John 15:5a – ‘I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit.’

While each of us has heard this verse several times, I don’t think we realize that growing is PAINFUL! It means stretching beyond what we are comfortable with. It means using muscles we didn’t use before. I think there is wisdom in saying that as Christians, we are constantly exercising our faith! 

There is a song that most of us are familiar with – ‘Oceans’. The bridge is very powerful. It goes like this –

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior

I’ve felt like my time in America was just that – Through times of unemployment, literal homelessness – living out of my car, loneliness, sheer disappointment and complete constant uncertainty, my trust in the Lord was being continuously stretched beyond borders. When I was offered a full time position with Operation Christmas Child as a National Spokesperson, for the first time in 3 years I felt like I could rest – I could catch a break; I could settle down; I could just be.

However, that feeling was very short lived. I learned on May 18, 2016 that my visa to stay in the United States did not come through. By this time next month, I will have wrapped up my life in America and moved back to India, where once again I will be standing face to face with the same questions I asked when I came to America – “Wait! What???” “Why this?” “Why here?” “Why now?” I will once again stand on the thresholds of unemployment, loneliness, disappointment and complete uncertainty! But having been stretched beyond my comfort, I know that it is time for me to exercise my faith. This means I will need to grow deeper in the Lord and I know that growing is going to hurt. It is going to be painful. I also know without a shadow of doubt that this pain is going to be worth it! Because, ‘We know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.’ Romans 8:28.

Even though I don’t know what my future holds,
I know WHO holds my future.
And for now, that is enough.

In closing I have to say – I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord!