Guess who I had dinner with today? Yup, my new friend I met on Malaysian Airlines! Pat yourself on the back for getting it right 🙂 I’m generally not a have-dinner-with-someone-I-met-on-a-flight kind of person. But with this gentleman, I knew the experience was going to be rewarding. And I was right. The 2hrs I got to spend with him were well worth it. For one, I got to eat Mexican food (Yay enchiladas) and two, I got to engage in some really interesting conversations. We talked about social responsibility, the brokenness of man – each struggling in his or her own way, the importance of the bottom of the pyramid, we touched on Maslow’s Hierarchy – The context of course wasn’t necessarily about needs, and we talked about God – He has been trying to convince me that God is a woman – At the moment, neither of us has won that argument. Lol!

The first time I met him, I had no clue of who he was. This time though, I made sure I googled him, and when I read of all his accomplishments, I was in awe! How was a man of that stature willing to meet up with li’l ol’ me? What did I have to offer? Absolutely NOTHING! But hey, friendship knows no class, no borders, no cultures and as I have now come to realize, no status – So much so, that someone who has the luxury of being waited on hand and foot, was willing to share a meal with me at the local Chili’s.

As we chatted over dinner, I quickly understood how this gentleman became a big man! It was so obvious. Sure his education and intellect played a role, and not to mention his Midas touch, but there’s so much more and here’s some of what I picked up –

1. Be Self-Aware:

This friend of mine is very well aware of his stature. He has no qualms about owning it. Doesn’t portray any false modesty and can see through any BS sucking up that one might do. He knows how to command respect, and rightfully so. But with all of that, he doesn’t have the “S” in snooty. He has zero air about himself, nor does he have any chip on his shoulder. He doesn’t care two hoots about other people’s opinion of him. If he thinks something is worth it, he will go for it, whether you agree or not. He won’t think twice before starting a conversation, and won’t brush aside any of your stupid questions.

2. Be Kind:

I have never been exposed to the world that my friend lives in. He’s travelled the world barring perhaps less than 10 countries, has influence over people, industries and even governments, but he says “Thank you” to the waiter, “Have a good evening” to the stewardess, and “Good night” to the doorman. He even walked l’il ol’ me out when I was leaving. He never brushed aside my in-the-face stupid questions about life on his side of the world. Nor did he laugh at my fascination of the royal club we later went to – you know, those fancy private lounges where only VVIPs go to, that’s the one. He even asked me to have at the pastries – I knew that if I walked back to our table with my mouth stuffed with chocolate cake, he truly wasn’t going to judge.

3. Give Dil Kholke:

My brother in law always says, “When you have more than you need, don’t increase your standard of living. Increase your standard of giving.” This new friend does this without a third person getting a whiff of it. Seems to me like he takes the “Don’t let your right hand know what your left hand is doing,” rather seriously. From what I understood of him, I’ve come to realize that he wouldn’t hesitate to give, even at the risk of being taken for a ride. His logic, if he is in fact taken for a ride, what he is losing is after all money, but if the need was truly genuine, he would’ve helped when it mattered most – And what is the use of money if it can’t help a fellow human in need?

The word you’re looking for is, “Wow!”

4. Pay Attention:

This big shot friend of mine remembered details of our conversation that we had over a month ago, in a tiny airplane from Malaysia. He paid attention to what I said. When we met tonight, he followed up on matters that I was concerned about and yes, he did follow up on my love life, or the lack thereof! When I told him I hit rock bottom, he said, “Great!” and gave me a hi-5! Why? Because once you hit rock bottom, the only place is to go, is up!

5. People Matter:

In a Tedx talk he gave some time ago, I heard him say this – “I’ve never invested in ideas. I will never invest in ideas. What I will invest in, are people.” And in setting aside two full hours for a nobody he met on a random flight – well, that says it all now doesn’t it?! What I loved most about my friend, is that he doesn’t seem to take people for granted. He knows that the waiter’s job is to wait on us, but he respects the fact that the waiter is making a living. We understands that everyone is on a journey – each with his own baggage, with his own set of struggles. My friend’s struggles aren’t bigger or heavier than another’s and vice versa. As we sat and people watched and chatted, he took the time to remind me and himself I think, that all of us are human. All us will make mistakes. If I expect grace to be extended to me when I mess up, who am I to withhold grace from another? “To err is human, and forgive, divine” – Ring a bell?

6. Let Your Yes Be Yes:

When we were bidding each other farewell on landing in Delhi, he said that if he were ever in Delhi when I was here as well, he’d be happy to catch up. He stuck to his word. Trust me, people are traveling from all across the country to come see him for 30mins. But he, he committed to having dinner with me. So despite having a full day of meetings today, and his entire day jam packed the next day, my new friend sat with me at Chili’s and spent time with me. It wasn’t a rushed quick bite. No. It was quality time that he could’ve used somewhere else.

He has now committed to come to Hyderabad and have a home cooked meal with me – Friend, as you read this, know that I’m going to hold you to it 🙂

7. Watch Your Words:

Now, the man spoke a lot of French – if you know what I mean – But in the 7hrs we spent – 5hrs on the flight from Malaysia, plus the 2hrs we spent this evening, I didn’t hear him say one unkind word. Nope. As I talked about my life, he had every reason to point out how lost and clueless I was, that I needed to get my act together, and if I continued in this utter sense of uncertainty, I would head nowhere in life – All of which would be true. Instead, he encouraged me to find out what it is that I was truly passionate about. He reminded me that a clean slate, a fresh start, is a good place to be in, and he reminded me that before you succeed, you will have first failed.

If not anything else, here’s what I took back from this gentleman, and I pray you will too – Do to others as you would have them do to you, without the expectation or guarantee that they will in fact do to you, what you have first done for them. Now in my opinion, that, is a lesson worth learning.

In closing I have to say – I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord!