The past two and half years of my life have been quite the rollercoaster ride. I came to India with the conviction that this is but a place of transition and not my destination. I often compared this phase of my life to that of the Israelites when the Lord sends them to Babylon with the certainty of knowing the plans that He had for them, plans to prosper and not harm, to give a future and a hope (Jeremiah 29:11), if only they walked in obedience. More than this famous verse of encouragement, what I held on to and took quite literally was the passage just a few verses above this one, where the Lord tells the Israelites to become one among the inhabitants of their current home. He tells them to build community and lay down their roots.

So, that’s exactly what I tried to do. I did EVERYTHING in my power to lay down my roots by building community but I don’t seem to stick around long enough to call my own home, home. I’ve felt like a circle trying to fit into a square or a triangle, like I’m constantly walking around with my suitcases in my hand, without having the permission to set them down and finally rest.

And so, I wait.

For the most part, I’m okay with the waiting because as my spiritual mentor taught me, we wait actively, getting busy glorifying God and edifying people. I got involved with the women’s ministry in my church, I sing on the worship team, and when possible, I try to get in some intentional one-on-one time with friends. But even with all of that, I have successfully failed to belong. Sounds like quite the oxymoron huh?!

Often times I feel like I’m stuck in the wilderness, headed to the promise land but having zero clue as to how long it will take for me to actually get there. I do try embracing this experience because such circumstances thrust you into a level of intimacy with the Lord that you wouldn’t otherwise develop. Then again, I have my moments when I sob and cry and throw a tantrum! The past week was one such time. However, the Lord comforted me and gave me attitude check through the prophet Jeremiah –

“The people who survived the sword, found grace in the wilderness”
~ Jeremiah 31:2

Isn’t it ironic that while we all dread the wilderness experience that is where the Israelites found grace? – Not in Egypt where they were slaves, nor in Canaan where they were free. Rather, in the midst of uncertainty, confusion, frustration and disappointment, “the people who survived the sword, found grace..”

If you, like me, feel like you’re stuck in the wilderness, may I encourage you with ten lessons that the Lord very lovingly taught me, and I hold on to dearly? These keep me motivated to look beyond my circumstance, to the unchanging character of the One who orders my steps – Because He is faithful this too shall pass. 

1. PROVIDENCE: Everything you need will be provided – mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. Providence will come from God and Him alone! – Not through family. Not through your employer. Not through your paycheck.
2. DISCIPLINE: Your time in the wilderness is time with yourself and with God. He will reveal aspects of your life that desperately need fine-tuning. Why? Well, you wouldn’t play a somewhat tuned guitar now would you? You would fine-tune it to play it to its fullest potential.
3. OBEDIENCE: You will find that obedience in the steps shown in the now is the only guarantee for the revelation of your next steps.
4. TRANSFORMATION: God will mold you and shape your heart and mind to reflect that of His own. He will move you from a place of complacency to a place of transformation.
5. PAIN: No pain, no gain. Your time in the wilderness will neither be fun nor easy – The statue was never thrilled at being chiseled but it was needed to become a masterpiece.
6. NO COMMUNITY: No one will truly understand what you are going through because this experience is just between you and the Lord an He will teach you that He’s the only community you’ll ever need. Everyone else is just a bonus.
7. TIMING: You will see the light at the end of the tunnel but you won’t know how long the tunnel is or when you get to the end of it. But if you can find it in your heart to trust that God’s timing is perfect, you will learn to enjoy this exclusive one-on-one time with the Lord.
8. ATTITUDE-CHECK: You can whine your way through the wilderness experience or you can trust that God knows exactly what He’s doing. Your attitude will either make your journey peaceful or it’ll make it miserable.
9. NEVER ALONE: You were never meant to take this journey alone. God will lead you with a cloud by day and a pillar of fire by night. God’s presence will lead you every step of the way. He will engulf you with who He is. He’ll have your back 24/7 if you will just trust Him.
10. WORTHWHILE: While no one likes or enjoys the wilderness experience, the journey truly is worth it! By the time you are done, you will find yourself with a whole new perspective of Who God is. You will master the art of taking your eyes off of your circumstance and fixing it firmly on His unchanging character!

You will know what it feels like to walk in complete, perfect peace even though where you are right now makes no sense whatsoever. Above all, you will see that it is absolutely fine that your eyes don’t yet to see what you know to be true in your heart. It is in the midst of that peace that you will truly find yourself understanding that faith is the evidence of things hoped for, and the assurance of things not yet seen.

In closing I must say, I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord!