Today marks three years of my dad’s passing (How has it been that long?) but it still feels like he breathed his last just the other day. I think of him often, and I miss him in the little things. When he was ill, and he was ill for a long time, God showed me what unprecedented favor looks like in hard situations. He showed me how His peace can reign in scenarios that are chaotic, and make zero sense.

Over a span of 13yrs, my dad spent considerable time in the hospital for several reasons – Stroke, abyss, bypass surgery, broken clavicle, chronic kidney disease, hypoglycemia, pace maker installation, renal failure, and sepsis. You might ask me, “Rachel, why didn’t God spare your father this sickness?” I don’t know. But He did spare his life, over and over and over again.

The minute we talk of illness or sickness of any kind, the Christian community especially is notorious for associating it with an attack from the devil himself. As someone who has seen sickness up close and personal over the past few years, while caring for my dad, this is something I think about often and here are my thoughts and responses to questions I’ve asked myself –

Q. Does sickness come from the evil one?
A. It is the consequence of sin that broke our perfect world.

Q. Does God allow sickness?
A. I don’t know but I do know that God uses sickness to fulfill His purposes. In other words, suffering of any kind is not in vain. At least not while you are a child of God.

Q. How can a good God and Father watch as my loved one suffers?
A. What makes me think that God is twiddling His thumbs while my loved one is suffering? If I don’t see it, does it mean God is not working?

Q. What did I do to deserve this?
A. Ah friend! If we all got what we deserved, we’d be in a whole lot of trouble. Therefore, with confidence I can say, you did nothing. Sickness, along with every form of brokenness, is a consequence of sin.

Q. If “By His stripes I am healed”, how come I’m still suffering?
A. I don’t know.

I can almost hear you say – Jeez Rachel! What is it that you do know?

This I know with all my heart – I’ve never had to face sickness – either mine, or that of a loved one, alone. Never. Not once. And I’m not referring to people – family, friends, loved ones. Sometimes they’re there. Sometimes they aren’t. But the Lord Himself, He’s been there every step of the way, all day, e’re day!

I’ve tasted sickness that’s both temporary and right now, and that which is chronic, and eventually leads to death. One is my own case and one is that of my dad. Do I wish that neither of us fell ill? Absolutely. But does that change the fact that God is/was/will be with us? Absolutely not! Does that change the fact that God is a God of healing? Absolutely not!

Here are some other things I do know –

But He was pierced for our transgressions, He was crushed for our iniquities. Upon Him was the chastisement that brought us peace. And with His wounds, we are healed (Isaiah 53:5)
If healing comes from God, then sickness cannot come from Him. After all, He cannot contradict Himself.

And the Lord said to Satan, “Behold he is in your hands, only spare his life” (Job 2:6).
Does this story from Job indicate that God allows for us to go through sickness? May be. I’m not sure. But it also is proof that God knew exactly what was going on. Job’s condition was not a surprise to Him, and neither is yours. God didn’t abandon Job. Neither does He, you.

And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28).
How can God use sickness for my good? He can, and He does. In the midst of that difficulty, God’s goodness and faithfulness shines through, if you only try to see it. It’s right there.

As people watching our loved ones suffer, we question God’s presence, God’s favor, and even His goodness. But if we are able to look at things from the perspective of the one suffering, you will see grace. Unexplainable grace. That’s what I saw with my dad. Yes he suffered long and hard, but it was in that sickness that I could see how much he clung to the Lord, and to His finished work on the cross. Sure, there were days of immense sadness and hardship, but he clung to His grace, and so did we as his family – My grace is sufficient for you; He is close to the broken hearted, the contrite of heart, I will not despise; I will never leave you, nor forsake you; Do not be afraid for I am with you. I will help you. I will lift you up with My righteous right hand.

When my dad eventually passed away, his face reflected the peace that he felt in his heart, in his mind, and in his spirit. My dad was ready to meet his Maker, and I know without a shadow of doubt, that his Maker received him with arms wide open.

Christmas and I have a love-hate relationship. While it is the celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ, a time for family and loved ones to gather together, it is also the time when my dad went to be with his Lord. And while that makes me sad, I know that he is more alive today, than he was when he was on this earth. I look forward to the day when I will see him again. I have this confidence that because Jesus Christ is the resurrection and the life, anyone who – in this case, my dad – believes in Him, will also be raised to life.

As we celebrate Christmas this year, I’m thinking of all those people who have lost their loved ones so close to this season; of all those whose loved ones are still suffering, and of those who themselves are struggling. May this season be the comfort that you need, to realize and recognize, that Christmas is proof that there is an end to the brokenness. Christ Himself brings about wholeness. The silence will not last long, and the darkness will be lifted. And together with the angels we can say, “Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace among people.”

For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in Him, will have everlasting life (John 3:16)

For a Child will be born to us, a Son will be given to us; and the government will rest on His shoulders; and His name will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Eternal Father, Prince of Peace (Isaiah 9:6)

In closing I have to say – I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord!