Author: Rachel Chadalavada

Just a girl in love with her Maker! Living life abundantly - That's my motto! After all, we only live once! The nailed cross, the empty tomb, salvation and grace are my greatest realities. I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord!

Time is Running Out

On By Rachel ChadalavadaIn Uncategorized2 Comments

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When you come to be my age, there are many things that will begin to annoy you. However, topping the charts is that one dreaded question – “When are you getting married?” Other questions similar to this one that are cringe worthy include, “How come you haven’t found a husband yet?” “Didn’t you find anybody when you were overseas?” Mentally rolling my eyes, I smile at all the uncles and aunties and my married friends who have now suddenly become aunties, and respond – “I’ll get married as soon as I find a guy.” “I don’t know why I haven’t a husband yet. If I knew, I’d fix it.” “No, I didn’t find anyone overseas. If I did, I wouldn’t still be single.”

Please don’t get me wrong. I understand that these questions all come from a place of love. But when put in this manner, the love seems to translate into an accusation of sorts that makes you feel as if, a) It is somehow your fault that a man hasn’t “found” you; b) Something is wrong with you because of which no one wants to marry you; and c) What you offer is not enough.

May I just make a blanket statement on behalf of all my fellow single ladies? At our age, we are single not by choice. While sometimes it is hard, most of the time we are okay with it. And you should be too. Unless you know a single, Christ-loving man, then you should totally introduce us!

When I was a little girl, I used to tell my dad – “Dad, you have until I’m 22 to find me a man. If you don’t, at 24, I will bring a man and introduce him to you as your son-in-law. You’ve been warned.” My dad may have thought I was a lost cause. Haha. My younger self would never have imagined that I would be single in my thirties. But that same younger self could not ever, in her right mind, imagine all that the Lord had in store for her. Caring for her sick dad. Traveling 15 countries. Living in South Sudan. Serving the widows, the orphans and the downtrodden, the poor and the refugees. What? The truth of the matter is, right now, in this moment, I am living my best life yet, although to many, I haven’t yet “settled down.”

Another thing that becomes a massive aspect with age is career. By this age I need to achieve this. By this time, I should’ve checked this off. I need to get to this level. I need to earn so much. I was talking to one of my best friends recently and she said to me, “Age is not on my side. I am not growing any younger. Time is running out and I’m still stuck here.” I agree that career is important and you should actively pursue having one. However, I often wonder, who sets this pace? Who creates these parameters? Who defines what you should be doing at what age? Each of our lives are so different. My struggles are not yours and your baggage is not mine. Your skills and mine are poles apart. So if we are so uniquely created and lead such specific lives, can we really create a standard operating procedure of sorts to determine what must be done when and hold ourselves to that standard, to the point where living up to that standard becomes more of a burden than a calling?

As I thought about all these, God laid this verse on my heart:

“But as for me, I trust in You, O Lord.”
I say, “You are my God. My times are in Your hands…”
~ Psalm 31:14-15a

I love how the Psalmist says, “But as for me.” It doesn’t matter how it is for anyone else. My times… my individual specific times, are in God’s hands. For someone like me who always has to have a plan and have that plan executed to the T, this verse is a stress-buster that reminds me that even though at times I feel like I’m lagging behind, ultimately my times are in God’s hands and in that lies my security and strength. When He knows what He’s doing, and His plans for me are good, to prosper and not harm me, to give me a hope and a future, I shouldn’t worry now, should I? Exactly. And neither should you.

My God is perfect.
His plans are perfect.
His timing is perfect.

When the time is right, I, the Lord, will make it happen ~ Isaiah 60:22

In closing I have to say – I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord.

I do… Till Death Do Us Part

For the past few weeks, marriage has been on my mind. This is mostly because so many of my friends are stuck in rocky marriages. Some of them barely made a year and looking to call it quits, and others, after over a decade of being together decided that it was more sane for them to walk away from each other. And some others, want to stick to their vows even when they’re the only ones in the marriage who want to honor the “Till death do us part.” As much as I want to be there for my friends, and I am, albeit with my zero knowledge and understanding of marriage, it does make me sad to see my friends sad. Marriage, in my opinion, binds you so tightly to each other, to make you one with another, that ripping it apart can only leave you torn to pieces.

I was talking to one of my colleagues the other day about this and she said to me, “Wow Rachel, this must leave you with a bad taste about marriage. But I’m sure you have examples of good marriages around you as well.” This got me thinking. Do I have good examples around me? What did marriage entail anyway? So I decided to unpack the wedding vows and see them for what they mean, not in just words, but in deeds.

“I, ___, take thee, ___, to be my wedded husband/wife…” 

My parents were far from perfect. Some days they fought like cats and dogs and it would leave me wondering what the point of them being together was if they couldn’t have a decent conversation with each other. The very next day I would watch my mom brew coffee for my dad because that’s how he likes it. She may be upset with him but he wasn’t going to be subjected to instant coffee. Not on her watch. And my dad? Ha! The man couldn’t spend an evening without my mom. If she stepped out for a meeting or a prayer, he would eat my head about when she was going to be home. As soon as she came home, he did his own thing, and she did hers. And just like that I knew the war between them was over. Did they fix their issues? Who knows! Did they talk it out? No idea! All I know is, they chose to drop the subject and carry on with life. Apparently dwelling in peace was more important than holding on to conflict.
“To have and to hold.”

My parents made more than their share of mistakes. When my dad was away in Guntur to work at a factory, my mother was left in Hyderabad to raise two young girls by herself. One of the young girls, who shall remain unnamed, was definitely a handful. My dad’s decision to do his business elsewhere cost our family togetherness, albeit for a short season. And through it all my mother encouraged him to pursue all that he wanted to. Even if she found it difficult.
“For better, for worse” 

You know our family. We are middle class just like almost every other person. Although, for several years we survived on a rickety old ambassador car that would only function if you were able to jump into it and get it started whilst pushing it up and down the slope of our basement. I’m not saying we were poor. I am saying that we weren’t rich. Even through bad financial decisions, my parents stuck together. They may not have spoken to each other from time to time, they may have even pointed fingers at each other. But they never left each other’s side. Not once.
“For richer, for poorer.”

In 2004, my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. Where was my dad? Right next to her. He waited outside the operation theatre when she was in surgery, and slept alone in the patient room when she was in the ICU. He sold property and made less than profitable deals to ensure all her medical expenses were taken care of. My mother survived. Now it was his turn. His journey of sickness began in 2006 when he had a paralytic stroke. Since then his health faced several challenges. Bypass surgery. Abscess. Chronic kidney disease. Renal failure. Dialysis. Sepsis. More dialysis. Where was my mom through all of this? Right next to my dad. Getting her out of the waiting room to go home and get some rest was a herculean task. His stubbornness and often times callous attitude toward his health drove her to the point of insanity several times. But did she budge? Ha!
“In sickness and in health”

The year 2019 put our entire family to the test. Especially my parents. My dad developed sepsis this year which caused his initial method of dialysis – hemodialysis – to fail, rendering the need to switch to peritoneal dialysis. This form of dialysis required that the patient have dialysis administered to him at home, four times a day in four hour intervals. Our entire family thought that this was going to be very hard on my mom who was his caregiver, that she would have a burnout, and that she wouldn’t be able to handle it. She shouldn’t have to handle it. Guess what? My mother wouldn’t let anyone else near my dad with a 100ft pole. If there was anyone who would care for him, it was going to be her. The only other person she trusted to administer dialysis for him, was me. She put her entire life on a standstill to care for his every need. Let me tell you this – It is easy to love someone when they are at their absolute best. But when they are sick, needy, entirely dependent on you for everything from getting off the bed, to using the wash room, to putting on clothes, love has to go from an emotion to an intentional commitment. A covenant. Like my mom’s. And she honored that commitment until the very end.
“To love and to cherish, till death do us part.”

On December 30, 2019, my parents would’ve celebrated 44yrs of togetherness. Just eight days after my dad passed away.

I know that when we say “I do” we look forward to a “Happily ever after.” We are so excited about the “To have and to hold, from this day forward” and so pumped about the “Thereto, I pledge thee my devotion,” that it is easy to forget that between those two truths, lie a series of other truths – The good. The bad. The wealth. The poverty. The sickness. The ill-health. How can we want a “happily ever after” without being faithful to all that is in-between?

I know I am no expert on this subject and perhaps that stands against my credibility as a writer. But God’s Word remains true no matter who the speaker is:

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”
~ 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8

I am certain that marriage is tough. Spending every single day of your life making your spouse the priority instead of yourself, surely can’t be easy. But don’t tell me it can’t be done. I have proof that it can. I have proof that the joy of companionship and oneness far outweighs the sacrifice.

In closing I must say – I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord!

On By Rachel ChadalavadaIn Chaos, Future, Life1 Comment

Must We Lose a Life?

On By Rachel ChadalavadaIn Life2 Comments

Death changes us. Sometimes it changes us more than life ever will. Losing my father was the most gut-wrenching thing I have ever experienced. How can a person be missed so much, is beyond me. It’s not like I’ve never been without my dad. I lived overseas for three years and in that time I saw my dad twice. It’s not like I spoke to him everyday. I may have spoken to him for a few minutes once a week. We were close and yet we weren’t. We were apart and yet so close. I think it’s the finality of death that makes this separation so hard.

The irony of life isn’t it? They say you don’t truly value something until you don’t have it any more. But the truth is, when you lose something, or in this case, someone you value with all your heart, the loss is unimaginable. And I wish no one has to go through it. Ever. Death makes the need for salvation that much more evident. God knew that death would destroy us – Mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually. After my dad died, I couldn’t read my Bible or pray for almost a month. But in the stillness of the night, as I wiped my tears away, I knew I wasn’t alone. I’m never alone. Especially when I’ve been the saddest, and most devastated, I’ve felt the loving arms of my Father, who would hold me as I sobbed my grief. No words were spoken, no advise was rendered. In the stillness, in the quietness, among the sniffling sobs, God was being God, and I was His grieving child, and I experienced the truth of His Word that assures me – The Lord is near to the brokenhearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit (Psalm 34:18).

Often times when my sister and I talk about my dad, she says to me, “How did we get so mad with him re?” Let me give you some context to that statement – My dad was a wonderful man, but he was an incredibly stubborn man. If he made up his mind about something, heaven help you if you try to change it. He was a poster boy for patient in the hospital, but when he came home, discharged, and had to stick to a new schedule and follow dietary restrictions, let me tell you, you’d think the terrible-twos were angels. He drove us up the wall! But now that he isn’t here anymore to send me down the path of insanity, that side of him never comes to mind. All I can think of, are the wonderful moments I spent with him. Whether it was going for a late night drive to get ice-cream, or it was a heart-to-heart on choosing the right life partner, one that I would choose, the memories I hold dear have nothing to do with things that annoyed me about him – because those things, they simply do not matter.

So then I have to stop and wonder – What if we treated the living like we treat the dead? What if we loved one another with only our positive in focus? What if the negatives didn’t matter as much? What if they didn’t weigh into our decision-making? “He never does anything at home!” “She always nags me!” “She is always hogging the television!” “He never listens to me!” What if these didn’t matter as much as the love we have for each other? What if we loved one another in a way is patient, and kind and not jealous? What if we didn’t brag, nor be arrogant? What if we didn’t behave unbecomingly nor seek our own? What if we didn’t get provoked, nor take into account a wrong suffered, nor rejoice in unrighteousness? What if the love we have would rejoice with the truth? What if we bear all things, believe all things, hope all things, and endure all things? If we did, our love wouldn’t fail. Love never fails (1 Corinthians 13:4-8).

So let me ask you – Must we really lose a life before we truly value them? Must it really cost someone their final breath to fully cherish their worth?

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love
(1 Corinthians 13:13).

In closing I must say – I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord

One Month Later

I can’t believe that it’s already been a month since we laid my sweet daddy to rest. Time needs to slow down. I’m not ready to accept that thirty days have gone by since I bid him farewell. I know I’ll see him again. I know that death is just temporary. I know it all. But that doesn’t make it any easier. Not a day goes by when I don’t miss him. I can’t bring myself to actually saying the words. Sometimes when people who don’t know ask me how my family is doing, I just nod my head and smile. How can I say with my own mouth that my dad is no more? How is that even possible? I still talk about him in the present tense and it kills me when I have to stop and rephrase my sentence to the past tense.

I can still hear his voice in my head. When I close my eyes, I still feel him needle me around just to get under my skin. And when I talk to my mother, I half expect him to pop into the screen and complain about how I am sharing secrets with her and how I need to repeat every single word back to him. But none of it happens. I wish with all my heart that this was all a bad dream and that I would just wake up and realize that everything is fine; that my life hasn’t changed forever. What I wouldn’t give to see him point a finger at me when in fact it was he who farted. I would gladly take the blame.

If only I could turn back time. I would undo all the times I got frustrated with him. I’d never stay mad at him. I would listen to him more, argue less, and freely let him annoy me. I would gladly give him all the Haleem he wanted, and willingly hand over even my share of ice cream. I think of all the times I got worked up and upset with him and I wonder – was it worth it? Was it worth sweating the small stuff? Is it ever worth it? If I could turn back time, I would tell him that I loved him over and over again till it embarrassed him. I’d never complain about how his mustache poked my face when he kissed me. I would gladly let him kiss me. Even just one more kiss will do. Just one more. If I could turn back time, I would swap places with him in a heartbeat.

I know that’s not possible.

However, what is possible is this – That I hold on to his memories – Loads and loads of memories. And I will cherish every single one of them to my final breath. I remember the many times I was able to trick him into signing my report card mere seconds before I raced into school because I was too chicken to face the music for my low grades (Darn that stupid Math!) Of course, he more than made up for it by ratting me out to my mom that very evening (Traitor!). I remember how he warned me that he would throw me out of the house if I ever brought a boy home. You should’ve seen his face when not one but two boys became my best friends and basically spent all of their time in my house (Joke’s on you dad!). The rhymes he came up with to blame everyone else for that stinky fart (Yikes!). He was my knight in shining armor who rescued me from the wall lizards in my house. And the moths. And the roaches. Basically every creepy, crawly. He told me not to bother if my goal was not to excel. When everyone else gave beggars the unsolicited advise to go find work, he told me to give them a bigger bill because who were we to judge their situation? What if they really did need the money and that God was trying to use me to meet their need? Would that extra cash really drill a hole in my pocket?

Everybody loved my dad. Especially the woman with leprosy who stood outside our window till he gave her alms – she came every day, and he gave her money every day for several years; the lame beggar at the church gate – I cannot tell you the number of times my dad made me walk back to the gate because he forgot to give him some money that Sunday. If I mistakenly took out a small bill, my dad would give me a dirty look, and not so politely remind me to give enough money for the man to purchase a good meal. After all, what was the point of God’s blessings if I couldn’t pay them forward?

I miss him.

I miss him so much.

If I knew I’d miss him this much, I would’ve spent every waking moment with him. I would’ve called him everyday and I would’ve never gotten irritated with him.

Gosh how I miss him.

Having said all of this, there’s another, more important thing that I need to say and you need to know – As my family and I continue to grieve, I know without a shadow of doubt that “we do not grieve as those without hope. For since we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so, through Jesus, God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him. According to the Lord’s word, we tell you that we who are still alive, will certainly not precede those who have fallen asleep. For the dead in Christ will rise again” (1 Thessalonians 4:14-15 paraphrased).

Happy one month in heaven daddy! I will always love you!

In closing I must say – I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord!

PS: I often times write out my raw and intimate emotions. I do this not so you, my reader, are aware of my deepest pain. I write this way so that you, my reader, will know, in your moment of immense heart ache, that you are not alone. I write so that you will always have at least one person who knows what you’re going through.

On By Rachel ChadalavadaIn Life

Daddy, Until We Meet Again!

On By Rachel ChadalavadaIn Uncategorized4 Comments

No matter how much you prepare yourself, I don’t think you can ever truly be ready for that dreaded call. It comes though – sooner or later. If you are lucky, you will be the one to make that call. But if you are not, then you will be the one to receive it – like me.

My sister called me this morning at 6am. As the Lord would have it, my dad went home to be with Him. All I could do in that moment was regret not being there physically with him when it happened. I know that there isn’t a thing that I could’ve done. But I wish I was there. So, as I often do, I took this sadness to the Lord in prayer. I said to Him, “Lord, I wish I was there when my dad died.” This loving Father reminded me, “You were there when he was alive.” And it’s true. I was. I was there earlier this month to celebrate 75yrs of God’s faithfulness in my dad’s life. I was there to talk to him one last time last night.

But what if I wasn’t? What if I got caught up in the busyness of life? What if I didn’t take that extra minute to hug him and tell him I loved him? What if I brushed away his concerns about moving to South Sudan? What if I never visited him while he was still here? What if I let resentment creep him for all the things that he did or didn’t do? What if? What if? What if? Would I have been able to live with that kind of regret? That would be a resounding ABSOLUTELY NOT!

I think about how this God who created my inmost being, knew my inmost being, and knew how important it was for me to be there with my dad. When my US visa didn’t come through three years ago, it didn’t feel like God had my best interest at heart. Now in hindsight, I know that He did. Staying home for three years without a full time job seemed painful and frustrating at the time. It didn’t feel like God had my best interest at heart. Now in hindsight, I know that He did.

These past three years my sister and I were able to spend time with my dad – time that was rich in both quality and quantity. We got to boss him around and he got to drive us up the wall. He got to steal all my tshirts and I got to pretend that it bothered me. My sister and I got to be his courage and my mom’s strength when things got bad. We got to have deep, meaningful conversations with my dad – someone who was a man of very few words. So were my “shattered dreams,” my “disappointments,” my “frustrations” worth it? Absolutely. If I had to do it again, I would in a heart beat.

I may not have been there when my dad took his final breath. But I made sure I was there every other moment. The love of his life, my mom, got to share that very last moment with him. I guess, in the grander scheme of things, it was good for her, the one who made a lifetime of vows to him, to be by his side. I wouldn’t have seen it that way but God did. My mom was not alone though. She has two strong pillars by her side – My sister and my brother in law. And soon I will join them too.

My sweet daddy went to be with the Lord today. I’ve never met anyone more resilient than him. He fought long and he fought hard. And now, finally, he gets to rest. He doesn’t have to fight any more. He has finished the race. He has kept the faith. And because of Jesus’ finished work on the cross, I will see him again! May be not today, may be not tomorrow, but one day I will, and I will celebrate in heaven alongside him, as I have done on earth.

For now, you take rest daddy. Until I see you again, I love you!

In closing I must say – I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord!

Chronicles of South Sudan: Worth It?

On By Rachel ChadalavadaIn Life, South Sudan7 Comments

Today marks two and a half months (10 weeks) of being here in South Sudan. Time flies when you’re having fun they say. However, ‘Fun’ isn’t the term you’d use for life here. Not because it’s not comfortable or convenient, but because the dire situation of people living in physical and spiritual brokenness will leave you distraught. It will make you question if anything you’re doing is worth it, or if you are even making a dent.

Over the past few weeks, I’ve been traveling to our various field sites and the things I’ve seen have left a lasting impression on my heart. I can’t ever un-see them. I’ve seen a whole county of people who are mere skin and bones. I’ve watched children running around naked because they don’t have a choice. They simply don’t have clothes. I’ve heard stories of how, when the country was in crisis, women fled with their children, while their husbands were being hacked to death. I’ve seen the faces of helpless refugees, and I’ve shaken hands with hungry children.

However, I have also seen little bright faces find immense joy in seeing a ‘Khawaja’ – anyone who is light skinned. A foreigner if you will. I’ve heard giggles of young boys and girls as they lay down nets to catch fish in mucky flood waters. I’ve borne witness to a community that is resilient and strong. I’ve seen women who sacrifice their own food rations, to help their neighbor who doesn’t have enough. I’ve seen people who serve refugees in South Sudan, while their own families live as refugees in the neighboring countries of Kenya, Uganda and even Ethiopia. And I’ve watched them serve with enthusiasm, love and compassion. It is one thing to leave your family and go to another country for work. It’s a whole other story for you to stay back to work, while sending your family to another country as refugees. The sacrifice is too great. Yet, for the sake of the calling, completely worth it.

South Sudan has humbled me in more ways than I can fully understand, and has taught me lessons that I’m still trying to process. For all the questions raised at my decision to move here, I can say this – I did the right thing answering the call. I regret nothing. Even though I don’t directly work with refugees and people living in extreme poverty, I get to support those who do. And I am deeply grateful to be able to do so.

I’ve learned so much in the short time I’ve lived here.

I’ve learned that you can’t feed the soul without first feeding the body. It is hard for anyone to pay attention to anything when all you can hear is the rumbling sound of hunger pangs. Jesus took care of both the spiritual AND the physical needs of people.

God cares deeply about the widows, the orphans, the stranger and the poor. If He didn’t, what exactly am I, and every other humanitarian aid worker doing in South Sudan?

Recently, I’ve been thinking a lot about the massive need there is in this country, and how much we are even able to do. I wonder often if this peoples suffering will ever end. And I wonder if the work we do makes enough of a difference, to all these people. As I pondered about this, I was reminded about the parable of the lost sheep, where Jesus talks about the shepherd who left 99 sheep behind, to go find that one lost sheep. Now I understand that the context of that story is very different from this current scenario. Hear me out nonetheless. This tale playing in my mind, I read a quote, I’m not sure who it is by, which says – “Jesus leaving the 99 to find one seems illogical, irrational and senseless, until that one is you!” And somehow it all just clicked. I realized that it doesn’t matter if the work we are doing is impacting and transforming the lives of a large number of Sudanese (refugees) and South Sudanese (host community) folk. If we are able to transform one life, then everything that we do here is worth it. In a world that only speaks the language of numbers, I am reminded that if Jesus ran after the one, then nothing should stop me from doing so as well.

Not being able to do enough, is no excuse for not doing anything at all.

So, was moving to South Sudan worth it? – Yes. A million times yes!

As you read this post, I hope you will take some time to pray for this country. Jesus is the hope for South Sudan. For now, I get to be His hands and feet here and for that, I am grateful.

In closing I must say, I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord!

 

 

DISCLAIMER: All views, opinions and ideas in this post and blog, are personal and do not reflect or represent those of my employer.

PS: Don’t miss admiring the confident pose of the little man in the extreme left in the photograph above, who is not a part of this family, but didn’t bat an eyelid to be a part of the picture. Haha! Kids right? 😉 #precious

 

It’s the Start of Something New

On By Rachel ChadalavadaIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

I always knew this day would come. I just didn’t expect it to happen so fast and in this way. India was a place of transition for me – that was a given. But I had no inkling of where God was going to lead me. My only prayer was – Lord, when You open the door, give me the grace to walk through it, no questions asked.

The last three years of my life have been the most uncertain, yet most fruitful. I was able to establish intimacy with God in a way that made the valley experiences, just as wonderful as the mountain tops, even though, truth be told, it was more in the valley times that I could feel God’s presence and be sure of His sovereignty. And for the times I didn’t feel a thing, His grace has sustained me. Through it all one thing stood true – that God is good and everything He did or did not do, was for my good. I’ve come to realize that even though times of waiting are quite excruciating, the longer you “wait”, the more you’ll understand that it’s not so much about the door that God’s opening, as it is about the God who opens the door.

After three years of knocking, the door – the right door, opened for me and I accepted the position of “Media and Communications Manager” to serve with Samaritan’s Purse in South Sudan. Yes, you read that correctly – SOUTH SUDAN! I know what you’re thinking. Everyone around me thought the same thing. Even I thought the same thing – Of all places to be called to, was it really going to be one that was war-torn?

Africa has never been on my radar. God and I never talked about it. I may have wanted to visit it, but that’s about it. Moving there was never an option. As I prayed about this new role, I asked the Lord if He was really calling me to go to South Sudan. After all, what did I have to offer? Was I hearing Him right? As I soaked my decision in prayer, I could very evidently feel the Lord nudge my heart. Actually, “nudge” is an understatement. This is what He laid on my heart – “Rachel, if the door I am opening for you is not the one you wanted, or like the one you were expecting, would you still walk through it? If you wanted to be on the top of the world but I led you to the ends of the earth, would you still go? Would you still trust that I am on your side?” In response, as it rightly should be, I packed up my life into three suitcases and a carry on and said, “Here I am Lord, send me!”

I have officially embarked on this brand new journey, one that is completely alien to me, but entirely known to my Father. I am excited and thoroughly convinced that the One who began a good work in me, is faithful to complete it. I know without a shadow of doubt that the God of angel armies is going before me. He is the one Who ordained my steps and He is the one Who is by my side.

So Africa, here I come!

In closing I must say, I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord!

PS: Many people have asked that I keep them updated on this new chapter of my life. If you too would like to be included on a monthly email update, please send me a message with your email ID and I’ll be happy to keep you posted.

He Remembers!

On By Rachel ChadalavadaIn Uncategorized1 Comment

For the first time in a very very long time, I don’t know where to start. I’m overwhelmed and taken aback and just… speechless and out of words.

As I write this, I’m walking around terminal A of New York’s Newark Liberty International airport, with a hot chocolate (Yum) in hand and a full, grateful heart, waiting for my next flight.

In January 2016, my associate position with Samaritan’s Purse was coming to an end and I had begun praying about returning to India. At the time God didn’t say “Yes, go to India” or “No, you’re not going to India.” All He said was, “I’m going to bring you back to this land.” I didn’t understand what that meant because I hadn’t left America. But in June 2016, I did. My H1B application didn’t go through and I came back to India. I came back with more questions than answers, more uncertainties than surety, more insecurities than security, more confusion than clarity. The one thing that remained constant through it all, was God’s goodness and faithfulness and His promise to bring me back to “this” land.

Like He always does, God kept His word and here I am, three years later, on a flight to North Carolina, to a place I once called home! God made me a promise, and no matter how “long” it took, He followed through. You know, I can’t even begin to tell you how many times I tried to help Him fulfill His promise (and failed), as if He needed my assistance (Pffffff!) and how many times I doubted if He remembered, He cared, or if, at the very least, He had a plan for me.

Long story short, I am a testament to this – God did remember. He did care. And He definitely did have a plan – A plan to prosper me and not harm, to give me a hope and a future.

I don’t know what promise you are waiting for, but allow me to encourage you –

  • There is grace in the waiting.
  • There is purpose in the waiting.
  • There is intimacy in the waiting.
  • The waiting is for your good.
  • The waiting is preparing you for the adventure ahead.
  • The waiting is teaching you that even when you can’t see, God is not silent. He’s working all things for your good. He knows what He’s doing. And for now, that is enough.

My season of waiting has been transformational. In fact, I didn’t even realize that God was working on my behalf and bringing me to this very point in my life. And along the way He opened doors I never thought existed, brought me opportunities I could never fathom, and adventures I’m still reeling from. During these three years:

  • I could be there with my dad as he went from being diagnosed with chronic kidney disease, to beginning dialysis and needing someone by his side, to severe blood poisoning, to starting a new method of dialysis, to my mom becoming my dad’s primary caregiver and my parents becoming and living life independent of me.
  • I travelled 11 countries including exotic places like Fiji, Italy, Spain and France, and got to meet my best friend who I hadn’t seen in 6yrs.
  • I learned that the church matters. People matter. If we can just stop thinking about what the church can do for you, or how it has failed you, you’ll see that the church has some very real and pressing needs, and you should step in and fill it.
  • I learned that the church will be my community if and only if I let it.
  • I learned that not all needs must be met by leadership. You can meet them too. So do it.
  • I got to develop intentional relationships with some sweet young girls/women who I know are future leaders.

Every time I stopped to look back at how far I’ve come, all I can be is grateful. The path God has carved for me isn’t one that I could’ve ever carved for myself and my only response to it has been “Then sings my soul, how great Thou art!”

If you take nothing back from this post, take this – God does remember. He does care. He definitely has a plan. And sooner than later, when the time is just right, He’ll show you His perfect plan.

“He who started a good work in you, will be faithful to bring it to fruition.”

In closing I must say – I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord!

PS: Yes I did eat Chick-Fil-A and yes, it tasted just as good as I remember it!

Truth Has a Name

On By Rachel ChadalavadaIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

Truth. What is it anyway?

Is it relative?
Is it subjective?
Or, does everyone just have their own personal truth?

But what if I said that knowing the truth, would set you free?
Would you still call it “Relative”?
If I told you that the truth was a “Who” and not a “What.”
Would you still think it “Subjective”?
If I said that the one thing, the ONE THING in life that remains constant is the truth,
would you still think it changes from person to person?

Truth has a name. Truth is a person. Truth is a creator.
He said the word, and there was light.
He laid the foundations of the earth.
He set the world in motion and called the universe to order.
He strew the stars in the sky and He made the fish in the sea.
The splendor, the majesty, the art, the design you see around you every day, He created
them all.
Every single “Wow.” Every single “Oh my word!” Every single “It’s
so beautiful I could cry!” Every single one of these moments are made by Him.

In Him there is no deceit.
In Him there is healing – “By His stripes we are healed” (Isaiah 53:5)

In Him there is comfort – “Blessed be the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God” (2 Corinthians 1:3-4)

In Him there is no anxiety – “Cast your cares on Him for He cares for you” (1 Peter 5:7)

In Him there is rest – “Come to me all you who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28)

In Him there is no fear – “Do not be afraid, for I have redeemed you. I have called you by your name, you are mine!” (Isaiah 43:1)

This Truth. He is the silencer of every lie.
“You are alone. You will always be alone!”
– “I will never leave you nor forsake you!” (Deuteronomy 31:8)

“You are going nowhere. Your life is sham!”
– “The steps of a righteous man are ordered of God” (Psalm 37:23)

“Your plans will never work out. See for yourself… nothing is working in your favor!”
– “For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not harm you, to give you a hope and a future!” (Jeremiah 29:11)

“You have no identity of your own!”
– “But as many as received Him, He gave to them authority to be children of God – To those believing in His name” (John 1:12)

“Ha! You don’t have a life. You are such a loser!”
– “The thief comes to steal, kill and destroy. But I have come that they may have life and have it abundantly!” (John 10:10)

Truth fought the ultimate war.
Truth made the perfect sacrifice.
Truth redeemed us from the clutches of death
Truth offered us eternal life.
Truth broke the power of sin.
Truth defeated the authority of the grave.
Truth saw His betrayer yet called him “Friend.”
Truth saw a thief yet called him “Son.”
Truth saw His offenders yet called them “Forgiven”
Truth saw a hefty price yet cried, “It is finished!”
Truth saw me, a wretch, yet said, “She’s worth it.”
Truth slayed a Victor.
Truth raised a Savior!

Truth alone stands the test of time.
Truth alone stands the test of relevance.
Truth alone stands the test of culture.
From generation to generation, from century to century, from decade to decade, from year to year, truth remains constant. He does not change.

He is the same yesterday, today and forever more!
He was a healer then, He is still a healer today.
He was a comforter then, He is still a comforter today.
He was a provider then, He is still a provider today.
He was a restorer then, He is still a restorer today.
He was a redeemer then, He is still a redeemer today.
Truth made a way then, truth will make a way now.
Truth NEVER changes.

Truth is the Alpha and the Omega.
He is the beginning and the end.
He is the first and the last.
He was and is and is to come.
He is the promised messiah.
He is the covenant kept.
He is the bread of life.
He is the true vine.
He is the prince of peace.
He is light of the world.
He is everlasting life.
He is the great I am!
Truth has a name. His name is JESUS!

In closing I must say, I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord!

Finding Grace in the Woods

On By Rachel ChadalavadaIn Uncategorized5 Comments

One of the hardest things you can do is to watch your loved one suffer and be completely incapable of doing anything to help or make them feel better. That feeling of helplessness is … let’s just say I wouldn’t wish it on anyone!

Some of you know that about two and a half years ago, right after I returned from the United States, my dad was diagnosed with chronic kidney disease, and subsequently with kidney failure. For two years he’s been on dialysis and with dialysis comes nausea, constant fatigue, heavy food restrictions and low immunity.

Recently though, something worse took over his body — He developed acute sepsis, or what is also called, “Blood Poisoning.” And yes, the condition is in fact, as scary as the name. I’ve seen my dad have medical emergencies before but nothing came remotely close to what he had now developed. It seemed like he had one foot in the grave. What made this situation worse for me was the fact that at the time, I was in Delhi for work. As soon as I found out though, I took the first available flight back to Hyderabad. At the baggage carousel, I was trying to give myself a pep talk because I didn’t know what to expect when I see my dad. While a billion different thoughts filled my head, a song played in my mind’s background — Yes, I hum in my thoughts as well! The lyrics of the song I was subconsciously humming went like this –

After all You are constant
After all You are only good
After all You are sovereign
Not for a moment did You forsake me!

The song was absolutely right. The Lord has never forsaken me in the past. Not even for a moment. There was no way He was going to forsake me now. I consciously chose to shift my focus from the uncertainty of this circumstance to the certainty of my faithful God. So, while my dad was busy taking a walk in the “Woods” I decided to look for God’s hand in such painful events. Surely, His presence was with me. But could I see it? Was I willing to open my eyes to His grace that followed us through the woods?

Nervously I entered the ICU, not knowing what to expect. As I walked to my dad’s bedside, I saw him stare into infinity, until, his gaze locked on me and his face beamed! Grace.

Words didn’t come out of his mouth and I doubt he remembered my name. But he recognized me! Grace.

My brother-in-law could catch the infection in time and make arrangements at the hospital for his treatment. Grace.

The antibiotics that were administered to him worked in his body. Grace.

The cardiologist caught an irregularity in his heartbeat and began medications. Grace.

The nephrologist was able to identify a problem with his current dialysis arrangement and also come up with a plan. Grace.

With all my crazy travels, I was in India when this happened and I could be by my dad’s side within no time. Grace.

Against all odds, to the doctors’ amazement, my dad made a full recovery. Grace.

Financial arrangements were made to take care of all medical expenses even without insurance. Grace.

Over these past two and half years, from doctors appointments to tests to diagnosis to treatment to follow up to medical emergencies, the Lord allowed my sister and me to stand by my dad. Grace.

My dad still has the many complications that come with the terminal illness of kidney failure and not one of them has miraculously gone away. But whoever said that grace was only found in healing? From stroke, to bypass, to kidney biopsy, to several middle-of-the-night runs to the ER, to dialysis, to pacemaker installation, to sepsis/blood poisoning, and now to a failed fistula, my dad has been through a lot. But the way I look at it, he could only go through it and be the fighter that he is, because of grace and grace alone.

Why do we or our loved ones – Parents, children, siblings, spouses – go through pain and suffering? I don’t know. Why does healing come to some and not to others? I don’t know. Will it ever get easier? I don’t know. But this I do know – “T’was grace that brought us safe thus far, and grace will lead us home.”

If this entire ordeal has taught me anything, it is this — God is exactly who He says He is: Provider, Healer, Protector, Restorer — Even when my circumstance dictates otherwise. And for such circumstances, He says but one thing — “My grace is sufficient for you!”

In closing I must say – I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord.