Category: Future

Goodbye Silver Bullet

On By Rachel ChadalavadaIn Chaos, Future, LifeLeave a comment

Today was a very hard day for me as I bid farewell to my beloved Silver Bullet – my precious Toyota Solara – the first car I ever owned! He and I had so many adventures together. We went on spontaneous drives all over North Carolina; Surprised friends for their birthday in Virginia; Made numerous midnight ice-cream runs; Braved the snowmageddon and battled several rain storms. Today, with just one signature, Silver Bullet went on to invest in someone else’s life.

With teary eyes and a broken heart, I watched someone else drive away with him. He is no longer mine.

Silver was so much more than a car to me. He was God’s first magnanimous tangible act of faithfulness toward me. He used Silver to convince me that He was calling me to Boone, North Carolina, to be a part of Samaritan’s Purse and Operation Christmas Child. Walk with me as I relive this phenomenal story.

In early September 2015, I was offered an Associate position with Operation Christmas Child. While I was desperate for a job, I was hesitant on taking up this position because being an Associate meant that my position would only last for four months. So when January of 2016 came, I would once again be in a place of waiting and at the time, I was ready to be done with waiting. I just wanted to rest. I wanted to settle down. But I had no other open door in front of me. So, I soaked this opportunity in prayer and asked the Lord to make it very clear to me if Boone was where He was calling me. Now Boone is a tiny city of about 18,000 people and living here is impossible without a car. At the time I was using my uncle’s car so I didn’t even think about what I would do after I returned it to him.

One day, a friend I had never met in person, but who was helping me make the transition to Boone, texted me. She told me that she was praying for me and that the Lord had already provided a car for me when I came to Boone. I didn’t quite understand what she meant. I just presumed that she knew of someone selling a car and would give me that information later. Instead, she continued her text to say that she had a car and wasn’t going to need it in a couple months. She wanted to GIVE me the car. You read it right! She didn’t SELL me the car. She just GAVE it to me. Not only that, but she was able to give me the car in November, which is the exact time I needed to return my uncle’s car to him. Now tell me that wasn’t God! Clearly He went ahead of me and met my need for a car even before I realized I had the need. That day I was completely overwhelmed by what the Lord had done and how He had provided for me. Even though I bawled my eyes out in gratitude, I sat there in disbelief. In November when my friend signed the car title over to me, I was overwhelmed, speechless and in total awe of what the Lord had done.

Today, as Silver’s new owner drove him away, I bid him a teary adieu. I tried to not cry but how could I control myself? Silver is no longer mine. But I know that he will faithfully serve his new owner. As I think about Silver, I also see that in giving him to me, the Lord kept me from making any long-term investments that would have affected my finances greatly as I now leave the country. The Lord saw everything ahead of time. He knew exactly what He was doing then. Because of this, I have no doubt that God knows exactly what He is doing now and it will be for my good.

In closing I have to say – I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord!

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Growing Pains

On By Rachel ChadalavadaIn Chaos, Future, LifeLeave a comment

“Wait! What???” “Why this?” “Why here?” “Why now?”.

These are often questions that we ask ourselves when things don’t necessarily go our way. When life ceases to make sense we wonder what happened. What went wrong? If there’s anyone who knows what that feels like, it’s me!

I have lived in India my whole life. I was comfortable, satisfied and deeply content with where I was and what I was doing. I had a good job, a loving family and dear friends. I had no reason to move – except, I had no peace! I knew that God was calling me out of my comfort zone. When I said yes to coming to America, I gave God an ultimatum (not my smartest of moves). I told Him I’d give him 2 years and that’s it! But the more I waited on Him, the more He made it evident that my time in America was longer than 2 years. As someone who is part of a close knit family, accepting this was by far the hardest thing I’ve had to do. Since the time I came to the United States in 2013 to pursue higher education, I have come to realize that God never called us to a life of comfort. I felt like I was uprooted from everything familiar, holding on hastily for even a remote sense of identity! I had no friends, no family, and no community. I knew that I was exactly where I was supposed to be but it didn’t feel that way at all. Until, I came to the point of realizing that my identity is in Christ. He is my friend. He is my family. He is my community. He IS enough! 

Through these 3 years in America I’ve learned that getting comfortable means settling. When we settle, we don’t grow. If we don’t grow, we can’t bear fruit. And we are definitely called to bear fruit. Jesus says in John 15:5a – ‘I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit.’

While each of us has heard this verse several times, I don’t think we realize that growing is PAINFUL! It means stretching beyond what we are comfortable with. It means using muscles we didn’t use before. I think there is wisdom in saying that as Christians, we are constantly exercising our faith! 

There is a song that most of us are familiar with – ‘Oceans’. The bridge is very powerful. It goes like this –

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior

I’ve felt like my time in America was just that – Through times of unemployment, literal homelessness – living out of my car, loneliness, sheer disappointment and complete constant uncertainty, my trust in the Lord was being continuously stretched beyond borders. When I was offered a full time position with Operation Christmas Child as a National Spokesperson, for the first time in 3 years I felt like I could rest – I could catch a break; I could settle down; I could just be.

However, that feeling was very short lived. I learned on May 18, 2016 that my visa to stay in the United States did not come through. By this time next month, I will have wrapped up my life in America and moved back to India, where once again I will be standing face to face with the same questions I asked when I came to America – “Wait! What???” “Why this?” “Why here?” “Why now?” I will once again stand on the thresholds of unemployment, loneliness, disappointment and complete uncertainty! But having been stretched beyond my comfort, I know that it is time for me to exercise my faith. This means I will need to grow deeper in the Lord and I know that growing is going to hurt. It is going to be painful. I also know without a shadow of doubt that this pain is going to be worth it! Because, ‘We know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.’ Romans 8:28.

Even though I don’t know what my future holds,
I know WHO holds my future.
And for now, that is enough.

In closing I have to say – I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord!

I Can’t See ANYTHING!

On By Rachel ChadalavadaIn Future, Life, UncertaintyLeave a comment

Today I began the heart wrenching process of packing. I’ve dreaded having to sort through my things – Things that I lovingly gathered over the past three years of my life. I took pictures of all that I needed to sell and made piles of the things I was giving away. With each item I set aside, I felt like I was tearing up a piece of my heart! I know that this is all just stuff. But this is MY stuff. Stuff that I thoughtfully put together to use in MY home! Never did I think that life in Blowing Rock would be so short lived.

I know that as I head out of America, I’m heading home. But it doesn’t seem like that. America, Boone and Blowing Rock seem more like home that India and Hyderabad. I feel bad saying that but I just fell in love with what I hoped was home. I truly hoped with all of my heart that with my employment at Samaritan’s Purse, my uncertainty would finally come to an end, my wait would finally cease and I could finally settle down without having to wonder where my life was headed. Never did I expect to get back to what seems like square one!

This isn’t the first time that I’m uprooting my life. I did it once before in 2013 when I left India for America. But as I packed my life into two suitcases and a carry-on, I knew where I was headed. Even though it was heartbreaking to leave my parents, sister, brother-in-law and darling niece and nephews, my heart was full of hope – not the “hope” we use as a synonym for may be but hope that is definite! When I said goodbye to my very comfortable life in India and got on to a plane to enter in to this whole new world called America, I knew without a shadow of doubt that I was in the center of God’s will. Even though I was entering a land where I would always be an alien, a foreigner, someone who would have to jump through bazillion different hoops simply to do things the legal way, I still knew that I was EXACTLY where God wanted me. I KNEW that my move was an act of obedience.

However today, as I once again uproot my life, I’m hopeful. But this time, it’s the kind of “hope” that we use as a synonym for may be, perhaps. I want to be filled with the hope that is definite but I’m just not. May be when I actually leave, it’ll begin to make sense. Right now, I simply don’t get it!

Please don’t get me wrong. I’m very excited about seeing my family and being home after a very long time. I’m thrilled that I’m going to be able to hang out with my teenage niece and dote over my extremely “macho” nephews who are as macho as a 10yr old and an 8yr old can be. I’m going to be able to chill with my mother and sister and not worry about exhausting my vacation. I’ll get to drive my scooter on the streets of Hyderabad, and I’ll get to eat mango that is extremely sweet. I’ll get to eat street food and bargain against fixed prices. Living in India comes with its perks.

But I’m freaked out! The thought of restarting my life all over again is scary! People ask me – “What are your plans for when you get to India?” And my answer – I have no idea! I don’t even have the “p” in “plan.” Even though I’m heading for India in less than a month, I still don’t feel like I’m being called there. My fear is that God is in fact calling me back but I’ve just become deaf to His voice. I mean, what kind of a daughter fails to hear her own Father’s voice? What exactly am I missing? This time as I uproot my life, I don’t know if I’m in the center of God’s will. I don’t know if I am exactly where the Lord wants me. I don’t know if I’m moving in an act of obedience. I don’t know ANYTHING! I can’t see ANYTHING! I’ve NEVER been so clueless in my life! I know that God knows exactly what He’s doing… I just wish I got a glimpse of it. I just wish I could see!

As I walk through this newfound darkness, I am reminded of the time my nephew Anand was a toddler. He was a feisty little independent tiny person. When we went outside, he’d refuse to hold my hand. I had to forcefully hold on to him but he would somehow wriggle out and keep walking ahead all on his own. The only time I felt his little hand clutch my finger, as if he were holding on for dear life, was when we were walking in darkness and he wanted to stay as close to me as possible. He just didn’t want to let go.

So today, I choose to become a toddler and hold on to my Father’s hand for dear life. Even though I feel blind and completely clueless, I will trust in the one Who created my inmost being and knew me from my mother’s womb. Even though I cannot see ANYTHING, I am choosing to trust in the Lord with all of my heart. I am choosing to lean not on my own understanding. In all my ways I’m choosing to trust Him and because of this, I am choosing to believe that He will make my path straight!

Though I sit in darkness, the Lord will be my light.

~ Micah 7:8b

In closing I have to say – I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord!

If I Told You…

On By Rachel ChadalavadaIn Chaos, Future, Life2 Comments

Since the time people found out about my return to India, I have received a range of reactions. Some have encouraged me to keep my eyes fixed on Jesus and trust Him with this next phase. Others have felt sorry for me and felt even more pain than I myself have felt. Still others have told me how wonderful it was that I was going to be closer to my family and some others bombarded me with questions of how I will survive in my motherland – the country that raised me for 26yrs of my life and made me the woman that I am today. Some (bless their hearts) were downright mortified hearing my news.

This made me ask myself – What are people seeing in my story? What stands out to them? And I wondered – If there was anything that I wanted people to take away from my story, what would it be? What would I want them to focus on? Who would I want to shine through my story?

This song by Big Daddy Weave came to mind –

If I told you my story
You would hear Hope that wouldn’t let go
And if I told you my story
You would hear Love that never gave up
And if I told you my story
You would hear Life, but it wasn’t mine

If I told you my story
You would hear victory over the enemy
And if I told you my story
You would hear freedom that was won for me
And if I told you my story
You would hear Life overcome the grave

If I should speak then let it be
Of the grace that is greater than all my sin
Of when justice was served and where mercy wins

Of the kindness of Jesus that draws me in
Oh to tell you my story is to tell of Him

This is my story, this is my song
Praising my savior all the day long!

As I enter this new adventure that Jesus has very thoughtfully brought me to, I encourage you to not see the struggle, the pain, the confusion, the hurt, the disappointments or even the achievements I’ve had. Instead, my prayer is that you will see, very evidently, the loving Father, the victorious King and the great Comforter. To tell you my story, is to tell of Him!

In closing I have to say – I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord!

Whoa! What Just Happened?

On By Rachel ChadalavadaIn Future, Life4 Comments

Have you ever felt like the ground below your feet was suddenly pulled away? Like someone sucked the air out of your lungs and in an instant your whole life was topsy-turvy? Well that about sums up my past two days.

Yesterday I found out that my name did not get picked in the H1B lottery. This means that my application will not even be considered for a visa and I will need to leave the country soon. While I have no regrets in returning to my country, my motherland that made me the woman that I am, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t disappointed.

When I came to America in 2013 I thought I was going to come, study and leave. I never thought this would be a learning ground for me. The Lord made it clear that He had a plan for me here that went beyond just attending graduate school. He opened my eyes to new experiences that I wouldn’t have known if I didn’t come here. When I moved to Boone and began working with Samaritan’s Purse, I was convinced that God called me here. He went ahead of me and created a position for me. He gave Samaritan’s Purse the courage and strength to fight for me. I didn’t have a single shadow of doubt that I was exactly where I was supposed to be. The way things were falling in to place, I knew that I would get my visa. I mean, why wouldn’t I? If God brought me so far, He’d definitely see it through. Right?

So you can imagine my shock when I found out that my petition didn’t get picked in the lottery. I was completely caught off guard! While I still don’t feel like God’s calling me back to India, I no longer trust what I “feel.” All I know is that He’s shut the door to America. While processing through what happened, I couldn’t help but ask – What’s the point of all of this? What did I even achieve living in America?

Until, the Lord brought His goodness back to memory. Living in this nation taught me –

  1. What it means to be stripped of everything that is familiar to you and yet truly understand that through it all Jesus is enough!
  2. That neither my employer nor my paycheck is my provider. Only God is my provider.
  3. That waiting on the Lord is NEVER in vain.
  4. What it means to sit back and watch the Lord carve out a path for you.
  5. What it means to trust the Lord with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind and with all your strength EVEN when things don’t go your way.
  6. That even when it doesn’t feel like it, God is still faithful.

As I struggle to focus on God’s purpose in my life and in my situation, I know that He’s still sovereign. I have a million questions buzzing through my brain and I simply don’t understand. But with Jesus by my side, I don’t have to understand. Disappointed as I am, for now, knowing that God knows exactly what He’s doing, is enough for me. I will trust His wisdom.

God is good.
God is faithful.
God is sovereign.
God is bigger than the lottery.
God is bigger than my H1B.

God is bigger than my disappointment.

When You don’t move the mountains, I’m needing You to move;
When You don’t part the waters I wish I could walk through;
When You don’t give the answers as I cry out to You – I will trust in You!

In closing I have to say – I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord!

#disappointedbutnotdiscouraged

India my love, here I come!

A Still Small Voice

On By Rachel ChadalavadaIn Future, Life, Uncertainty3 Comments

Have you ever felt as though the voices around you seem to contradict the very thing that you thought you knew for sure? Has it ever seemed like you tend to trust what other people say about your situation, more than what God does? I’ve felt that way these past couple of days.

As somebody who left a very comfortable job, a wonderful family, amazing friends, a nurturing church and doting niece and nephews, coming to the understanding that God’s plan for me was in America, and not in India, didn’t come easy. I cried out, “Help! I’m Desperate!” before I finally surrendered to Him.

After my Associate position with Samaritan’s Purse ended in January 2016, I was all set to book my tickets back to India. However, the Lord intervened and convinced me to trust Him and to trust the plans He had for me here in America. Finally casting all my cares on Him, I began serving Operation Christmas Child as a volunteer. The next four months opened my eyes to a deeper, much closer, stronger walk with Jesus. In early January this year God made it abundantly clear to me that I needed to stop looking over my shoulder at India and begin laying down roots here in America. When I wondered if that was God’s voice or my own, He spoke to me from John 10:3-4. I knew without a shadow of doubt that this was all God because I know my Shepherd! I recognize His voice.

Once I acknowledged the plan He made so evident to me, and trusted Him to fulfill it, I watched in amazement as He went ahead of me and created the path for me. For the first time in my life, I watched as the Lord fought every single battle for me, while I simply sat still. He moved mountains to ensure that Samaritan’s Purse submitted an H1B petition for me and that I would serve as a National Spokesperson for Operation Christmas Child!

Over these past few years of waiting and wondering where I’m headed, if there is one thing I have learned, it is that God always lead with His peace (Isaiah 55:12a). Even though I’ve been living in excruciating uncertainty, I’ve seen first hand what it means to be the daughter of the Prince of Peace! The perfect peace (Isaiah 25:3) that He’s poured on me is beyond comprehension!

On April 9, 2016 the United States Citizenship and Immigration Services completed the random computer generated lottery for H1B petitions. This means that I will hear about my visa situation any day now. While this is exciting, it’s also scary. This past Friday I began getting anxious – Not because I was worried, but because I hadn’t heard anything about my visa. Nothing! The more I researched on the H1B lottery, the more I read about people already having received notifications of whether or not they were picked for visa processing. Several schools of thought, including that of friends who’ve been through this process hinted at the chance of my petition not making the lottery. This would mean that I would go back to India. I spent all of Friday breaking my head over why I hadn’t heard anything yet. I spent all weekend listening to various different voices – friends, H1B discussion boards, H1B blogs, “Experts” on the process – telling me that because I hadn’t heard anything about the lottery result, it could mean that I didn’t get picked in the lottery. But in my heart, I know without a shadow of doubt that the Lord’s not calling me to India. So, how can this be?

And then, I heard a still small voice saying – “As you do not know the path of the wind, or how the body is formed in a mother’s womb, so you cannot understand the work of God, the Maker of all things” ~ Ecclesiastes 11:5

Now, I may be quoting that verse out of context but this I know with all my heart – I have a 0.31 chance of being picked in the lottery. If my future were left to “chance” I would be worried. Good thing that even though I do not know what the future holds, I know WHO holds my future and He knows EXACTLY what He is doing.

So, even though I haven’t heard about the status of my visa petition, I am choosing to believe that the God Who went ahead of me and created a path to bring me to America, keep me here for almost 3yrs, get me introduced to Samaritan’s Purse, cross my path with people who would fight for me tooth and nail till I had a full time position, get my H1B petition into the lottery, give me a fully furnished all utilities included house, GIFT me a CAR, is the same God Who will get me through the lottery.

The Lord said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.” Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave. 

~ 1 Kings 19:11-13 

In closing I have to say – I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord!

 

I Know My Shepherd

On By Rachel ChadalavadaIn Chaos, Future, Life, Uncertainty1 Comment

January 18, 2016

One thing I’ve been struggling with is recognizing God’s voice and being sure of it. You already know that God’s laid it on my heart to set my eyes off of India… to quit looking over my shoulders, and to start laying down my roots here in America.

Human as I am, I cannot help but ask – What if I’m wrong? What if that voice is mine and not of the Lord? I think I feel that way because I don’t see ANYTHING! I don’t see anything working even remotely in my favor. So possibly my second-guessing isn’t so much about being unsure of God’s voice, but that my faith isn’t properly anchored.

Anyway, as I was thinking about this and wondering if I recognize the Lord or not, I felt the Spirit remind me of this verse – “He who enters by the door is a shepherd of the sheep. The sheep hear his voice, and he calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. When he puts forth all his own, he goes ahead of them, and the sheep follow him because they know his voice” ~ John 10:2-4

I thought about those verses. If I know my Lord, I should know His voice. And I definitely know my Lord, my Savior, and my Father. I know my Daddy! I know His voice. I just need to trust what He is saying, in faith. At the end of the day, “Faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen” ~ Hebrews 11:1

In closing I have to say – I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord!

Stop Looking Over Your Shoulder!

On By Rachel ChadalavadaIn Future, Life, Uncertainty1 Comment

January 16, 2016

I’ve been reading through the book of Jeremiah. The context of this book is God telling the people of Israel that because of their disobedience, they will be sent into exile to Babylon. In the mid-20s chapters, the Lord tells His people that they should listen to Him and just go to Babylon. There they will be safe. He will make sure of it. He goes one step further and tells them to build homes, cultivate farms, marry people of that land (Jeremiah 29:4-7)… then He goes on to tell them to trust Him because He knows the plans He has for them.

Reading this verse in context unnerved me a little. I was confused. Here God was sending His people to a place they didn’t want to go and if they did go in obedience, He would fulfill the wonderful plans He had for them. This got me thinking. What was I to learn from this? Was God asking me to go back to India? But I do want to go back. He doesn’t have to convince me to do that. He just needs to say the word!

Then I realized. India is not my Babylon. America is. I never wanted to come here but I did, in obedience. But while here I was constantly afraid of laying down my roots because, well, I could go back to India any day! I think though, today, God was very clear about what He wanted me to do. I felt like He’s telling me to quit looking over my shoulders to India and wondering when I’ll go home, because, I’m already home. America is now my home.

It’s time I laid down my roots. I think that’s also why the Lord had me take some bold steps from time to time that I, in my own strength, would never have been able to do. It was His way of telling to stop putting my life on hold, to stop looking over my shoulders to India, and finally laying down my roots here, in America, which is now my home!

Where is the Lord calling you today? Do you feel as if moving in obedience is just too overwhelming to make any sense? May I encourage you to trust in the Lord? He knows what He is doing.

“”For I know the plans I have you” Declares the Lord. “Plans to prosper you and not harm you, to give you a hope and a future”” ~ Jeremiah 29:11

In closing I have to say – I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord!

The Blessing of Uncertainty

On By Rachel ChadalavadaIn Future, Life, Uncertainty3 Comments

This past week has been a lot of fun and a much needed break from my not-so-busy routine. If you know anything about me, you will know that I LOVE being busy. I love having stuff to do and I absolutely love being productive. However, since the time my Associate position with Samaritan’s Purse ended, I haven’t felt very productive. Sure my days are still full, sure I’m able to care for an adorable baby in the mornings and sure I’m able to volunteer in the afternoons, but it’s just not the same as having a full day of work. You know what I mean? So this past week has been a breath of fresh air for me, as I’ve been “working,” albeit in the capacity of a volunteer, from 8am till at least 10pm. It was tiring, exhausting and downright amazing!!! I had the privilege of being part of Operation Christmas Child’s Connect Conference and Full Circle Speaker training.

I’ve learned a lot over this past week. But one the biggest lessons I learned was the lesson of gratitude. My friend Izabella was sharing with us on one of the mornings about the importance of being thankful. As I was pondering on this, I began thinking about what I was truly grateful for. My answer took me by surprise! Without so much as a shadow of doubt, I realized that I was very grateful my “uncertainties.” Weird right?!!!

When I left India for America, I just thought I was moving countries. I never realized that I was exchanging a life of comfort and certainty, for a life that constantly and consistently made me step out of my comfort zone, and be soaked in the speculative, in the unknown! No matter which direction I turned in, I was faced with uncertainty and I hated it! I hated not knowing!

When I arrived in Lynchburg in 2013, my housing situation was not what I expected and I had no clue where I would live! When summer 2014 came I had no clue where I would be working! I desperately needed a job because not working was NOT an option. After summer, my housing situation changed again and I had no clue where I was going to live. Just before I graduated in 2015, I packed up all that I owned, and waited for the Lord to show me where He was leading me. I was so sure that I would have a job by the time I graduated. But did that happen? Nope! On June 1, I found myself without a job, without an income and without an apartment. So, I put everything I owned in a rental car and left Lynchburg. Where was I headed you ask? No idea!!! When I moved to Boone in September, I knew that my position would end in January 2016. I also knew that the Lord wasn’t leading me back to India. How would He keep me in America? I have no clue whatsoever!

Over these past two and a half years, God’s faithfulness has been more than evident in EVERY situation! When I moved to Lynchburg without having a place to stay, He opened the doors of a stranger’s home where I stayed for a week till I found roommates and moved into an apartment! In summer when not working was NOT an option, He opened the doors to an amazing internship in a phenomenal children’s ministry. I got to live with the most loving, kind and generous family that I’ve ever met. They’re close to my heart and I know that I’ll always have a home with them! Right after my summer internship, God opened the door for me to live in a home that I could make my own! He allowed me to create new, lifelong friendships. I spent quality time with my roommates! We laughed, we cried, we watched Hawaii Five-O together! Life was good! When it was time for me to leave Lynchburg after I graduated, He opened my cousin’s home in Miami where I had the chance to teach at a Community College. In a span of four months, I had the opportunity to live in four different states (Thank God for family who opened their homes to me without hesitation!!!). Even without a job and with no income, I never had to worry about having a roof over my head or about food on my plate. I never had to stretch out my hand in front of another, and I never had to deny myself anything that my heart desired. All of my needs have been met, and all of my wants have been fulfilled. Today, as I continue to “volunteer” with Operation Christmas Child, I still have a tank full of gas. My freezer is stuffed with food (I’m still wondering where all that food came from). I still bought that dress that I really, really, liked. I still traveled around to spend time with friends. I still have a savings account that has not been touched. Like I said, God’s faithfulness has been undeniable!!!

Today, as I continue to stand on the threshold of the great unknown, I still don’t know where I’m headed. I don’t know for sure that my position with Operation Christmas Child will work out. I don’t know for sure that my name will get picked out in the lottery and that I will get my H1B visa. I can honestly say that I have no idea what tomorrow holds. But you know what? That’s okay. Because, I know Who holds tomorrow, and I know Who holds my hand!!!

Amidst these plethora of  uncertainties, I’ve felt God’s sovereignty over my life in ways I have never experienced before. I’ve begun to see Him as a good, good Father! His goodness is not subject to my circumstances! I can honestly say that He and He alone is my strength, my courage, my joy and my provider! I am closer to the Lord today, than I’ve ever been in all my 29yrs of life! So go on, ask me what I’m grateful for. My resounding answer will always be, without a shadow of doubt – My uncertainties are my greatest blessings and for these, I am grateful!

In closing I have to say – I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord!

I Know Who Goes Before Me

On By Rachel ChadalavadaIn Chaos, Future, UncertaintyLeave a comment

Today I did something that I never thought I’d do in my life – I drove through a snowstorm! As most of you have either heard, or are currently experiencing, the east coast is going through what some have titled the Snowmageddon or the Snowpocalypse.

Just like the many of us, I was subjected to a forced upper body workout this morning, by scrapping the snow and ice off my car. I turned the defroster and heat on and got my car all warmed up in time to head to work. I knew the weather was bad because it had snowed all night but surprisingly, the drive TO work was pretty easy. Sure I took longer than I usually do – it only makes sense to drive slowly in conditions like these – but I got there without any problems. I didn’t skid, waver, or anything like that. I got to work in one piece. And yes, I am super proud of myself!

As the day progressed, the storm kept getting worse. Around 3pm, Teresa my neighbor and co-worker called me and asked if I’d like to follow her home or just drive with her because of the intense weather. You see, we were expecting freezing rain. I thought about it and I told her I had to run a few errands before I got home. Wise woman that she is, she said she too needed to run some errands so she would drive ahead of me and I would follow. You know, just in case I got stuck on the road, she’d be close enough to help me (very thoughtful of her right? I agree!). Anyway, we got to the grocery store and started our drive back home.

I’m not exaggerating when I say this – it was an AWFUL drive! I had my defroster on and yet as I drove, the rain kept freezing my windshield. I used my wipers and for the most part it cleared the water out of my line of vision and I could drive. Until, the snow on my wipers froze and now even though they were moving, they didn’t clear out the rain from in front of my eyes. I drove as cautiously as I could but I just couldn’t see anything!!! My rear-windshield was completely frozen. There was a patch of ice on my windshield, exactly in my line of vision and I had to constantly adjust myself looking over that patch and under, at the road ahead, which now seemed so obscure. The rain was coming faster than I could clear it off. At this point, I’ll be honest with you, I got scared. Just a tad but scared all the same. All I could tell myself in that moment was – “Teresa is ahead of me. Teresa is going before me.” As I said that to myself, I turned off all distraction – radio, phone, air vents, and just kept my eyes on Teresa’s taillights. At this point they seemed blurry but I could still see them. So, I fixed my eyes firmly on her and I drove. I didn’t look at the car next to me. I didn’t care that I could not make out where my lane began and ended. I didn’t worry about the speed limit. I didn’t pay attention to the snow and ice pellets pummeling my car. All I cared about was Teresa. If she turned left, I turned left. If she put her right blinker on, I put my right blinker on. It didn’t matter what route Teresa was taking. I blindly followed Teresa and she brought me safely home.

This whole experience simply affirmed my convictions on where our focus should be in the midst of our storms and let’s be real – everybody has them! If you haven’t read my previous post titled “When the storms don’t cease,” you should take a moment to read it.

Finding myself in the center of uncertainty, I constantly keep asking where I’m headed. I want to know what the next steps are. Sometimes I want to be independent and do things on my own. After today’s experience, I have to ask myself – What if I just paid attention to the One Who goes before me? The Bible doesn’t mince words about God’s leading. It reminds us in Deuteronomy 31:8, “The LORD is the one who goes ahead of you; He will be with you He will not fail you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.” In Isaiah 45:2, “I will go before you and make the rough places smooth; I will shatter the doors of bronze and cut through their iron bars.” In Deuteronomy 1:10, ‘The LORD your God who goes before you will Himself fight on your behalf, just as He did for you in Egypt before your eyes.”

I’m not sure what storm you find yourself in. May I be so bold as to suggest that it doesn’t matter so much as to where you’re headed, but who you are following that needs attention? In other words, the more important question is – Who goes before you? If the answer is Jesus, then His word already says that He will clear out the rough places for you (Isaiah 45:2). After all, He is not man that He should lie (Numbers 23:19). As long as your eyes on the Savior, it doesn’t matter if you are in the middle of a storm. He will take you home safely.

I know who goes before me. I know who stands behind. Do you?

In closing I must say – I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord!