Category: Life

The Secret Life of a Business Tycoon

On By Rachel ChadalavadaIn Life1 Comment

Guess who I had dinner with today? Yup, my new friend I met on Malaysian Airlines! Pat yourself on the back for getting it right 🙂 I’m generally not a have-dinner-with-someone-I-met-on-a-flight kind of person. But with this gentleman, I knew the experience was going to be rewarding. And I was right. The 2hrs I got to spend with him were well worth it. For one, I got to eat Mexican food (Yay enchiladas) and two, I got to engage in some really interesting conversations. We talked about social responsibility, the brokenness of man – each struggling in his or her own way, the importance of the bottom of the pyramid, we touched on Maslow’s Hierarchy – The context of course wasn’t necessarily about needs, and we talked about God – He has been trying to convince me that God is a woman – At the moment, neither of us has won that argument. Lol!

The first time I met him, I had no clue of who he was. This time though, I made sure I googled him, and when I read of all his accomplishments, I was in awe! How was a man of that stature willing to meet up with li’l ol’ me? What did I have to offer? Absolutely NOTHING! But hey, friendship knows no class, no borders, no cultures and as I have now come to realize, no status – So much so, that someone who has the luxury of being waited on hand and foot, was willing to share a meal with me at the local Chili’s.

As we chatted over dinner, I quickly understood how this gentleman became a big man! It was so obvious. Sure his education and intellect played a role, and not to mention his Midas touch, but there’s so much more and here’s some of what I picked up –

  1. Be Self-Aware:

This friend of mine is very well aware of his stature. He has no qualms about owning it. Doesn’t portray any false modesty and can see through any BS sucking up that one might do. He knows how to command respect, and rightfully so. But with all of that, he doesn’t have the “S” in snooty. He has zero air about himself, nor does he have any chip on his shoulder. He doesn’t care two hoots about other people’s opinion of him. If he thinks something is worth it, he will go for it, whether you agree or not. He won’t think twice before starting a conversation, and won’t brush aside any of your stupid questions.

  1. Be Kind:

I have never been exposed to the world that my friend lives in. He’s travelled the world barring perhaps less than 10 countries, has influence over people, industries and even governments, but he says “Thank you” to the waiter, “Have a good evening” to the stewardess, and “Good night” to the doorman. He even walked l’il ol’ me out when I was leaving. He never brushed aside my in-the-face stupid questions about life on his side of the world. Nor did he laugh at my fascination of the royal club we later went to – you know, those fancy private lounges where only VVIPs go to, that’s the one. He even asked me to have at the pastries – I knew that if I walked back to our table with my mouth stuffed with chocolate cake, he truly wasn’t going to judge.

  1. Give Dil Kholke:

My brother in law always says, “When you have more than you need, don’t increase your standard of living. Increase your standard of giving.” This new friend does this without a third person getting a whiff of it. Seems to me like he takes the “Don’t let your right hand know what your left hand is doing,” rather seriously. From what I understood of him, I’ve come to realize that he wouldn’t hesitate to give, even at the risk of being taken for a ride. His logic, if he is in fact taken for a ride, what he is losing is after all money, but if the need was truly genuine, he would’ve helped when it mattered most – And what is the use of money if it can’t help a fellow human in need?

The word you’re looking for is, “Wow!”

  1. Pay Attention:

This big shot friend of mine remembered details of our conversation that we had over a month ago, in a tiny airplane from Malaysia. He paid attention to what I said. When we met tonight, he followed up on matters that I was concerned about and yes, he did follow up on my love life, or the lack thereof! When I told him I hit rock bottom, he said, “Great!” and gave me a hi-5! Why? Because once you hit rock bottom, the only place is to go, is up!

  1. People Matter:

In a Tedx talk he gave some time ago, I heard him say this – “I’ve never invested in ideas. I will never invest in ideas. What I will invest in, are people.” And in setting aside two full hours for a nobody he met on a random flight – well, that says it all now doesn’t it?! What I loved most about my friend, is that he doesn’t seem to take people for granted. He knows that the waiter’s job is to wait on us, but he respects the fact that the waiter is making a living. We understands that everyone is on a journey – each with his own baggage, with his own set of struggles. My friend’s struggles aren’t bigger or heavier than another’s and vice versa. As we sat and people watched and chatted, he took the time to remind me and himself I think, that all of us are human. All us will make mistakes. If I expect grace to be extended to me when I mess up, who am I to withhold grace from another? “To err is human, and forgive, divine” – Ring a bell?

  1. Let Your Yes Be Yes:

When we were bidding each other farewell on landing in Delhi, he said that if he were ever in Delhi when I was here as well, he’d be happy to catch up. He stuck to his word. Trust me, people are traveling from all across the country to come see him for 30mins. But he, he committed to having dinner with me. So despite having a full day of meetings today, and his entire day jam packed the next day, my new friend sat with me at Chili’s and spent time with me. It wasn’t a rushed quick bite. No. It was quality time that he could’ve used somewhere else.

He has now committed to come to Hyderabad and have a home cooked meal with me – Friend, as you read this, know that I’m going to hold you to it 🙂

  1. Watch Your Words:

Now, the man spoke a lot of French – if you know what I mean – But in the 7hrs we spent – 5hrs on the flight from Malaysia, plus the 2hrs we spent this evening, I didn’t hear him say one unkind word. Nope. As I talked about my life, he had every reason to point out how lost and clueless I was, that I needed to get my act together, and if I continued in this utter sense of uncertainty, I would head nowhere in life – All of which would be true. Instead, he encouraged me to find out what it is that I was truly passionate about. He reminded me that a clean slate, a fresh start, is a good place to be in, and he reminded me that before you succeed, you will have first failed.

If not anything else, here’s what I took back from this gentleman, and I pray you will too – Do to others as you would have them do to you, without the expectation or guarantee that they will in fact do to you, what you have first done for them. Now in my opinion, that, is a lesson worth learning.

IMG_7503.jpegIn closing I have to say – I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord!

Worth Too Much

On By Rachel ChadalavadaIn Life1 Comment

Ok, this is a long one but it is worth the read. So, last month I went to Kuala Lumpur – My first trip to Malaysia. I loved it! It felt like America, but everyone drove on the left side of the road. Ergo, happy medium! I explored quite a bit and came back to India with the profound understanding that Malaysians LOVE live music. Man! Wherever I went, there was music – Subway, food court, hotel lobby, food fair – and it was GOOD music! But as always, all good things must come to an end and so did my Malaysian adventure.

On our way back, my papa-figure colleague got upgraded to business class and insisted on letting me have his spot. After much persuasion I finally agreed and excitedly marched my way to this area that had a ‘Class’ of its own. I’d NEVER been on this side of the curtain before. I was super excited! Hehe. I ended up sitting next to this really jovial, enthu-cutlet like man who later became my crash course on all things business class. From helping me figure out where to keep my luggage, to how to get my foot rest going, to ordering a meal – Yes, in business class, the choice is more than “Vegetarian” or “Non-Vegetarian,” and you can’t just kick up your foot rest. Ask me. I know. I tried, struggled, failed and then in a rather amused tone came the instruction, “Just push the button” and voila, the foot rest came out!

After barely 5mins of ice-breaking small talk, this new friend really caught me off guard with the question – “So, who are you in love with?” Hahahaha! I know you’re laughing too. You’d think I’d be irritated at the complete lack of personal space on a question as private as that. But surprisingly, I found it rather refreshing, having gotten tired of the usual superficial conversations that simply stick to, “So, tell me about yourself.” I don’t know if he really wanted to know, but it felt good to have someone be interested in my life. Before I knew it, we talked about, what seemed to me like everything under the sun, including my love life, or the lack thereof. I’ve come to realize that there’s something very special about talking to strangers – at least strangers like this one – because there is no reason whatsoever to have your guard up. I mean, what are the odds that I’d see him again? So down came the walls. And as we chatted, yes,

I let him get in a few sentences as well, I enjoyed the complete genuineness of the conversation, the lack of pretense, and the wow, you’re actually interesting, aspect of it all. One thing that stood out in all of our chatter was this undeniable notion that this was no ordinary man that I was talking to. The more we talked, the more I realized that he was a business tycoon of sorts. Good thing I hadn’t a clue of who he was. If I did, trust me, I would’ve sat next to him like either he or I were a ‘Touch me not’ and I wouldn’t have dared to open my mouth in front of it. Then again, nowhere during our conversation did this gentleman have any air about himself. He was actually quite a nice, HILARIOUS dude. I have no idea how fast the 5hrs on the flight zipped by.

Talking to my newfound friend really made me think about the prejudices I have. I mean, if I knew he was a fraction of the big-shot that he is, I probably would’ve just assumed that he wouldn’t want to talk to me. And boy, would I have missed out on so much. He gave me a sneak-peak into a world that will most likely, 99.9%, never be mine. I got the front row seat to the highlights of this man’s life, who, in my opinion has the Midas touch, and yet, no chip on the shoulder was found. I am so glad I had no idea who he was when I met him, because I got to know the person that he is, rather than be shaded by his accomplishments and glory. In our conversation, the topic of my Alopecia came up – don’t ask me how – and by the end of the conversation, I had him bantering about a “Hey baldy!” Lol! And no, I was not offended. It felt good to, for once, not have someone feel sorry for me. It was good to meet a man who was beyond reach on the totem pole, yet to me, in those 5hrs, was as down to earth as can be – until he started bragging about the amazing shower he had in his hotel room. Gah! Jk.

In my entire rendezvous with my new friend, there was one thing he said that stuck with me. He said, “I am worth too much.” “Well of course you are! You’re a BUSINESS TYCOON with the Midas touch” I thought. But as I said my goodbyes and got off the flight, I couldn’t help but ask myself, “What then am I worth?” I’m a nobody. Now before you get all riled up about that statement, I don’t mean to be self-deprecating but if we’re being honest, you know it’s true. I don’t have a fancy job, I can barely make ends meet, I don’t have the Midas touch… heck, I don’t even have a green thumb! Nothing.

Like I said, I am a nobody. So, what am I worth?

And in the stillness of the night resonated these crystal-clear words – “You are worth three nails, 1.5 gallons of blood, a cross and an empty tomb.”

So, am I worth too much? ABSOLUTELY!

In closing I must say – I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord!

PS: My hope is that one day I will sell this photograph and make millions of dollars! 😁

The Cross has the Final Word

On By Rachel ChadalavadaIn Chaos, Life, Worship1 Comment

DDBDHXWUMAEHif7The past few months have been the hardest I’ve ever experienced. I have felt rejected, small, unheard, super low on priority lists and downright blah! I’ve tasted a whole other dimension of hurt, betrayal, lies and brokenness by people I loved the most and looked up to my entire life. In the midst of this confusion about what my reaction should be, the Bible reminded me that I was indeed called to a higher calling. If we are called to love our enemies, how much more are we to love our loved ones? After all, it hurts so bad because they’re people that we have loved so deeply. But see, that’s the thing. They are people. And people, by nature, are broken.

Along with lessons of brokenness, and how even our loved ones are broken and make irreparable mistakes every now and then, I’ve learned new lessons on grace, forgiveness, love, peace, restitution and restoration. I tasted what it feels like to take the fall for someone else, to pay the price that was never mine to pay in the first place, to be confident of the decision – “Better me than him/her” … Needless to say, it wasn’t easy. It just wasn’t easy!

I cannot begin to tell you how many times I wished I could just bury my head in the ground like an ostrich and completely ignore my surroundings – But that’s a luxury I evidently did not have. I knew what the right thing to do was, but under the weight of all that was going on, the “Right thing” just seemed insignificant and pointless. Nonetheless, it was done merely because it was the right thing to do. Plus, if I don’t, who will?

Even though this entire ordeal was excruciating, the key words here being “Was” and “Excruciating,” I learned a whole lot of things about love, life, friends, family and people. But above all, I had a new appreciation for salvation – Perhaps my analogy is a bit far-fetched. Nonetheless, it made sense to me:

  • Jesus took the fall for me, a hit that was never His to take. But He did it anyway.
  • Jesus paid the price for MY sin – that price was never His to pay. But He did it anyway.
  • When Jesus hung on the cross, He looked at me and said, “Better me, than you.”

I have no business crying and telling Jesus that He had no idea what I was going through, because the shoes that He walked in, are a hundred times worse than the ones that I did. Did it hurt? Sure it did. But I wasn’t alone. And you know what? If my ultimate purpose is to be like Him, to grow into His likeness everyday, then why am I surprised that I am called to follow suite? That I am called to forgive more than seventy times seven – not once, not twice, not even 10 times but above and beyond all of that! I mean, God knows I’ve done more than my share of sinning and have said less than my share of “Sorrys”. When He forgave them all, why should I hesitate to do the same?

You know, I’m one of those people who likes to move on in life and quickly. I believe what’s done is done, nothing you can be done to change the past. So, learn from it, and get on with life. Some call it resilience, some maturity, some downright denial, some others foolishness and still more, an abuse of grace. Truth be told, I have come to realize and experience for myself that forgiveness is a choice. A hard choice, but one that frees you from the clutches of bitterness when you don’t even realize that you’re a prisoner. All the advice I got from people wiser than me, left me in a state of cognitive dissonance – What was right, what wasn’t? Could I trust my judgement anymore? Is pronouncing a sentence my call to make? Who determines how sorry the offender is? Should my forgiveness depend on the degree of their remorse? Can anyone really earn forgiveness? If I’m bearing the brunt of someone else’s actions, then am I not justified in being resentful? The answer to every single one of these questions, came in the form of yet another question – What would Jesus do? I wore that bracelet so often in my teenage years. It was now time to live it. What would Jesus do?

If you don’t take back anything else from this post, take this back – It takes more energy to be mad than it takes to forgive. And as stupid as it may seem, as complacent as it appears, or as pointless as it may be deemed, forgiveness is always the right answer!

“Why?” you ask? Because of the finished work of Jesus on the cross –

“Forgive us Lord our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us!”

After all, the cross has the final word!

In closing I must say – I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord!

The Best Book to Read

On By Rachel ChadalavadaIn Life, WorshipLeave a comment

Growing up in Sunday school, one song that stuck with me goes like this – “The B-I-B-L-E, yes that’s the book for me. I stand alone on the Word of God the B-I-B-L-E!” It has always been engrained in me that it is important for me to read God’s Word and obey it. For a long time I read the Bible as if I were doing God a favor. Little did I know the blessings that I was missing out on by not loving His Word.

Years of constant uncertainty have caused me to desire a close, intimate walk with Jesus and I have come to realize that the Bible is not only God’s Word but also a revelation of Who He is. There is no way I can possibly love God without loving His Word, nor is there a way to know God without spending time in His Word.

A few months ago I attended a Bible study during which the speaker quoted Ezra’s love for God’s Word. For some reason that struck a chord with me and I decided to read through Psalm 119. As I read through it, my eyes were opened to the blessings that were in store me when I spent time with God’s Word. As if getting to know the Lord more and more weren’t enough motivation to spend time with the Bible, here are 20 blessings that Psalm 119 reveals:

  1. God’s Word blesses us – v1&2
  2. It helps us be blameless – v1&3
  3. It provides freedom from shame – v6
  4. It causes us to praise God – v7
  5. It helps us keep our ways pure – v9&10
  6. Our eyes will behold wonderful things – v18
  7. It takes away reproach and contempt –
  8. It keeps us calm even when people stand against us, when they sit and intentionally plot against us (v23)
  9. It counsels us – v24
  10. It strengthens us – v28
  11. It enlarges our hearts to want more – v
  12. It turns our eyes from vanity – v37
  13. It produces reverence – v38
  14. It equips us to have an answer for him who reproaches us – v42
  15. It gives us freedom – v45
  16. It gives us courage to stand before kings and bear witness – v46
  17. When we bear witness, God’s word keeps us from being ashamed – v46
  18. It revives us in times of affliction – v50
  19. It comforts us – v52
  20. It causes us to be sensitive to evil and produces righteous anger – v53

I have a whole new perspective on the reading the Bible now and truth be told, the more I read God’s Word, the more I want to read more of it.

In closing I must say, “I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord.”

Hasta La Vista 2016!

On By Rachel ChadalavadaIn Future, Life3 Comments

In less than three days we will find ourselves at the threshold of a brand new year – 2017. I still remember when I rang in 2016. Where did the year go? When this year began I was pretty certain it would take its own sweet time to come to an end but boy was I wrong!!! Seems like just yesterday I wished the world a happy new year 2016.

When I look back at this year, I can barely get my bearings right as I think about all the experiences that unfolded over the past 12 months. In some ways my life doesn’t seem to have changed a bit since the beginning of 2016 to now – I was knee deep in uncertainty then and I am knee deep in uncertainty now. Along with that, another thing that hasn’t changed, is my hope in the God Who is in control of that uncertainty and the assurance that my future is uncertain only to me. God knows exactly what He’s doing!

2016 has been a year that has challenged me in more ways than I have the courage to admit. It opened my eyes to a whole new understanding of Who God is and His unwavering, unchanging character, which alone remains my anchor for the new year to come. This year has made me stronger, smarter, more vulnerable, more open to letting people see my not-so-strong side, more passionate, more loving, more giving and here’s my favorite – more sensitive to God and to what’s on His heart for both me and those around me.

From standing on the verge of giving up any idea of staying in the US, to watching the Lord move mountains to prove otherwise, to finally being convinced of where I belong, to heartbreaking disappointments, to feeling like the battle was mine alone, to throwing a tantrum before the Lord and then letting Him set me straight (Yikes!), to being consumed by an overwhelming sense of uncertainty over every aspect of my life, to understanding and for a change, truly trusting with all of my heart, even when I don’t see the evidence of that trust, that God, and He alone is in control of my past, present and future, 2016 year has been quite the roller coaster ride and I am a better woman for it.

I often wonder why trials and challenges come my way – I’m pretty certain I’m not the only one who thinks about this. Truth be told, the lessons you learn in your brokenness are the lessons that end up building your character and making you the person you were meant to be. Times of trials chisel our hearts to be sensitive to God’s love, His voice and His specific will for our lives, if we can only still ourselves long enough to trust His heart.

If there is one lesson I’ve learned this past year that I will surely take with me in to 2017, it is this – That God is unchanging and I can take Him for His word – Not my words. He says so in Micah 3:6, “I the Lord do not change.” Because of His unchanging character, I will, like the Psalmist say, “Your testimonies are my delight; They counsel me” (Ps 119:24).

Because He was my provider (Genesis 22:14) in 2016 and because He does not change, He will be my provider in 2017.

Because He loved me in 2016 and because He does not change, He will love me in 2017. Also, He’s already said that He loves me with an everlasting love (Jeremiah 31:3).

Because His Word has been a lamp to my feet (Psalm 119:108) in 2016 and because He does not change, His Word will guide me in 2017.

Because He moved mountains to fight my battles on my behalf (2 Chronicles 20:15) in 2016 and because He does not change, He will fight my battles in 2017.

Because He knew the plans He had for me in 2016 and because He does not change, He knows the plans He has for me in 2017. Plans to prosper me and not harm me. Plans to give me a hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11).

Because He held my hand and didn’t let go of me (Deuteronomy 31:6) in 2016 and because He does not change, He will hold my hand and won’t let go of me in 2017. And that confidence, that confidence alone is reason enough for me to look forward to a brand new year 2017.

Here’s to another roller coaster ride with God! Happy New Year everyone!

#neveradullmomentwithJesus

In closing I must say – I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord!

 

Yes, I Wear a Wig

On By Rachel ChadalavadaIn Life3 Comments

I never thought I’d find myself gathering the courage to write about this. For far too long I’ve let myself feel embarrassed and downright small over something that I wish I could control but sadly cannot. This post is my attempt to embrace my shortcomings and flaws, to stop being embarrassed about how I am created, to truly see myself as Christ sees me – Fearful and wonderful, and to raise awareness on basic sensitivity. A woman’s hair is said to be her “Crowning Glory” – So what about if a woman doesn’t have hair? Does she no longer have anything glorious about her?

When I woke up this morning, I had a big smile plastered on my face. Today was the day I would be annoyingly perky, getting on the nerves of anyone who hadn’t had their caffeine fix for the day. My hair was set right. My lipstick didn’t find a way to make it to my teeth. My pants fit just right, and boy did I look good! (Yes, I can be very vain sometimes!). I sat at the breakfast table and began chowing down my food whilst humming to Anthem Lights’ hymn mash ups – Y’all, if you haven’t heard them, you need to stop what you’re doing AFTER reading this post of course, and go check them out. They’re WOW! Anyway, a gentleman I met a few days ago passed by me and I gave him a polite, smiling “Hello.” He returned my greeting with this horrific question – One that I’ve tried so long to dodge: “Ma’am, please don’t feel bad but, are you wearing a wig?” I wish with all my heart that I looked at him and asked him to mind his own business, or even give him the deathly stare that would make him want to pull his own eyeballs out, or at the very least used my fork to not-so-gently force it through his thigh. Instead, I froze in my seat. All that confidence I finally built up over these years, came crashing down as I fake-smiled at him and answered, “Yes, I do wear a wig.” He just looked at me, obviously not expecting that answer, smiled a shocked smile, and changed the subject. How did knowing the answer to that question edify this gentleman’s life? Did it change his day in any way? No, right? Unfortunately, answering it changed mine. My precious perky high spirit came tumbling down into the dumps.

Alopecia isn’t something that’s talked about – at least not in India. We are perpetually obsessed with two things – A fair complexion and long, silky hair, neither of which I have. Heck, I’d be thrilled if I could barely cover my scalp. But that is a luxury I do not have. When I was 12yrs old, I fell extremely ill, the recovery from which left me putting on a lot of weight and losing a lot of hair. While controlling my weight is in my hands, losing hair or growing it, isn’t. I’ve tried Homeopathy, Alopathy, visited this doctor, tried that cream, and all of them left me staring at the mirror with a broken heart, a shattered self-confidence and a crushed spirit. I don’t think I have any more tears left to cry about this. I’m done.

Last year, I finally gave up on the dream of growing hair like a normal person, and shaved off whatever little I had left, to embrace God’s gift to people suffering from Alopecia – A wig! When I put it on, I was thrilled, not so much because of how I looked, but because of how I felt. I felt normal. I breathed a sigh of relief that finally, I would no longer have random strangers come and pitifully tsk at me for developing bald patches all over my scalp (True story!). I had my own inhibitions about wearing a wig. I wrestled with the idea for a very long time but I finally became comfortable with it.

I know that a lot of people have wondered how my hair made such a drastic turn around. Others have wondered how I never have a bad hair day. And still others have wondered if I wear a wig. For far too long, I was embarrassed about acknowledging it. But not any more. Today, I choose to hold my head up and believe with all my heart that it’s okay that I don’t have hair. It’s okay that I have obvious bald patches. It’s okay that I choose to wear a wig. Today, when that gentleman asked me about my wig, I hated the way that question made me feel. I hated how embarrassing that moment was for me. I realized that the only reason I felt as hurt as I did was because I was somehow embarrassed and uncomfortable with my choice. Why on earth should I be embarrassed though? If anyone should be embarrassed it should be people who choose to be insensitive toward other people. This ends today. Today, I take back the power.

The fact that I don’t have hair doesn’t take away from the fact that I am fearfully and wonderfully made, a girl made in the image of her Creator. It doesn’t discount the fact that I am sweet, loving and caring. I have a fun personality, a care-a-damn attitude, and a hilarious spunk. I’ve let Alopecia make me feel small for far too long. It’s time to look Alopecia in the face, kick it in its butt and say, I’m pressed but not crushed; Struck down but not destroyed. I’ve been blessed beyond the curse for His promises endure. Though the sorrow may last for the night, His joy comes in the morning!

As you finish reading this post, I have a few requests to make of you –

  1. Please don’t feel sorry for me. I don’t feel sorry for me. You shouldn’t either. Plus, that wasn’t the point of the post.
  2. Share this post with these hash-tags: #wonderfullymade #skinisonlyskindeep #takebackthepower.
    In a world that’s attempting to be “inclusive” let’s also be inclusive of people like me. If you and I don’t talk about it, who will?
  3. Proudly post about your physical ‘flaws’ with the hash-tag #takebackthepower
  4. Lastly, but most importantly, if you ever see my wig out of place, please tell me (in my ear).

The reason I chose to write this post today is because I felt that it was about time all of us shifted our eyes from what’s on the outside and focus on what’s on the inside. Because skin is only skin deep. True beauty lies within you. Everything else is superficial and temporary.

As I conclude this post, I want to jump off of Martin Luther King’s speech and say just this:

“I have a dream that one day, my children are judged not by what they look like on the outside, but by the content of who they are on the inside.”

In closing I have to say – I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord!

#fearfullyandwonderfullymade #skinisonlyskindeep #takebackthepower

What Should I “DO”?

On By Rachel ChadalavadaIn Chaos, Future, Life2 Comments

Today marks exactly four months since my unexpected return to India. Some days I feel like I never left. On other days, I cannot believe that I am back. Not that being back is bad. It’s just … How do I put it? … It’s weird. I wish I could explain it better but all my friends who lived in a foreign country and came back to their motherland will know what I mean. Let’s just say that reverse culture shock is a real thing. Getting readjusted to life in India is a challenge. Unfortunately not everyone understands that. People never fail to remind you that you have only been away for three years and that India is where you were born and raised. Trust me, I know that. I realize that and I am NOT trying to stand out or have a chip on my shoulder. Au contraire mon amie, all I really want more than anything is to get back to living in India – I have zero intention of keeping my heart in America and my feet here.

Other than going bonkers over the constant honking and the sudden overwhelming realization that we Indians are LOUD, it’s been good to be back – For the most part that is. It’s been wonderful to be back with family and have the freedom to go see my niece and nephews whenever I want. The first month and half was great. My only goal in life was to chill and enjoy just being here, not worrying too much about what the future holds. But after those 45 days went by, the four dreaded words came out of every single person I passed by – “So, what’s your plan?” On the surface I smile and tell them that I am taking one day at a time and seeking the Lord to show me the next steps. But on the inside, I’m screaming, pulling my hair apart, wishing with all my heart that I knew the answer to that painful question.

Some of you know that I have been working with Operation Christmas Child International as an International Field Representative (IFR). This requires me to travel quite a bit and observe distribution events, which I ABSOLUTELY love! I get to watch first hand the joy that the effort and love of you wonderful shoebox packers make on the lives of little children. If I tell you some of the stories I’ve witnessed, you’ll need a box of tissues – I kid you not. But the position of an IFR is neither full time nor permanent. While I thoroughly enjoy what I do, I once again wonder, “What next?” The more I pray about it, the more I know that the Lord hasn’t released me from OCC yet. I’m still completely sold out to the power of a simple shoebox gift. However, the most difficult part of being back in India and being with OCC is that because I travel a lot, I am unable to build any community. I know it seems weird since I’ve lived my whole life in India. Truth be told, time and distance make a big difference in friendships and community. From the time I have returned, I’ve been begging the Lord for a community. I’m constantly surrounded by this overwhelming feeling of standing with suitcases in my hand and being completely incapable of putting them down and just resting. I’m convinced that, for reasons only He knows, the Lord is intentionally keeping me from building community, laying down roots or investing in relationships.

The other day, while in Delhi on OCC work, I sat in my hotel room praying about where my life was headed. Somehow I ended up watching a video about people being in the pit from time to time. Now I’m not quite sure what happened but all I remember from that evening is that I just burst in to tears. I cried like I hadn’t in years! Once I was done, I felt like this burden lifted from my shoulders. I feel so much better. While crying my heart out to the Lord, I caught myself saying these words – “What do You want me to do Lord? Please tell me. What should I do?” And I realized, the Lord is already working in the background. He doesn’t want me to be “Doing” anything. He just wants me to BE. For a doer like me, that was hard to accept. But it explains why I’ve been so frustrated. While I want to “Do” He just wants me to “Be.” I’ll be honest – I’m still trying to figure out how to do this but at least I now know where my lesson lies. I trust the Lord with all of my heart and I know that His reasons for keeping me waiting will in time be well worth it.

So until the Lord thinks I am ready to see the manifestation of His plans for me, I have to say – I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord!

 

Does it Hurt? Good!

On By Rachel ChadalavadaIn Life3 Comments

When I was still on my “Goodbye” road trip in America, I found out that my uncle in India was admitted in the hospital for an emergency vascular surgery. For several years now he’s had an issue with his leg. Over the past couple of years he developed an ulcer that needed attention off and on. So I just assumed that this particular visit to the hospital too was one of those times when his vascular condition wasn’t life threatening but simply needed attention. When I spoke to my aunt, she told me the same thing. I’ve always known my aunt to call it as it is and to never mince words so when she said he was okay, I figured he truly was fine.

Once I landed in Hyderabad, I spent a week with my family and headed straight to Vellore to see my uncle. If you know anything about me, you’ll know that family is a priority for me. If I even remotely sense that they might need help, I’ll plonk myself there and do whatever I can to make life a little easy for them. Hence, when I arrived in Vellore, I took my aunt’s place as my uncle’s helper in the hospital, so that my aunt could get some time and room to breathe and relax. On our way to the hospital, my aunt asked me if I wanted to see what the wound on my uncle’s leg looked like. Since I was well equipped to gory visuals thanks to my loyalty to medical drama shows like Grey’s Anatomy, I figured I could handle a little ulcer. When I saw the picture though, I quickly realized that my aunt had underplayed the severity of my uncle’s condition. From what I saw, it seemed like the doctors chopped off my uncle’s entire calf – trust me, I’m not exaggerating! There was a gaping hole in my uncle’s leg and I could see the white calf muscle through it. I simply couldn’t believe it! I pretended to be strong and put on a brave front when I finally hugged my uncle in the hospital.

Soon, the doctors came on their rounds and began re-doing the dressing on his leg. Forgetting that real life was nothing like a medical drama, I watched the doctors unfold the wound that lay buried beneath all of those bandages. As they uncovered that gaping hole, I could see my uncle squirm in pain. “God is good! God is good!” he reminded himself. My heart broke to watch him in such pain. I couldn’t understand how it got this bad. Why did he neglect it? Why did he allow it to fester this long? I simply didn’t understand! One key point to this story is this – My uncle is an orthopedic surgeon. So it boggled my mind even more that he didn’t catch this wound before it became an “emergency!”

After my uncle settled down from the fresh agony that changing the dressing caused, and I finally got my bearings in order, I asked him to tell me why he waited this long. He looked at me and said, “I didn’t know it was this bad. I felt no pain.” Oddly enough, the reason my uncle was now in so much pain, was because he felt no pain before. He felt no pain because the flesh in his calf was dead. Because the infection killed the flesh around his muscle, he felt nothing. The only symptom he had was fever – a sign of infection.

As I reflected on what my uncle said, I realized the importance of pain. The reason his leg hurts so much now is because the wound is fresh and the tissue around it is alive. Does that make sense? Dead tissue doesn’t cause pain – Just infection but no pain. And in that moment I wondered if the purpose for pain in our lives was to remind us that we are alive. If I felt no pain, it would just be a matter of time before my heart and my soul became numb. If it didn’t hurt, I would be calloused. Pain reminds me that I’m alive, that my heart and soul are alive. Pain reminds me that it will get better. Pain reminds me that recovery is a process and when I get to the end of it, it’ll be worth it.

Today when the doctors poke my uncle’s wound and he twitches in pain, I know two things for sure – it hurts because the tissue is alive. It doesn’t hurt as much as yesterday because the process of healing has begun.

So today I want to leave this with you – I’m not sure what it is that you are going through. I don’t know how much it hurts. But this I know. If it hurts, it’s a good thing. It means you’re alive!

In closing I have to say – I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord!

Goodbye America! #BitterSweet

On By Rachel ChadalavadaIn Future, Life, Uncertainty3 Comments

As I laid my head down to rest last night, I wondered how I would react to waking up to the knowledge that my time in America had finally come to an end. Today, I got to the airport, bid my family goodbye, walked through the security lines and got lost in the crowd. I was mentally prepared to fall apart. But you know what? I didn’t! Surprisingly I was at immense rest. This must be what the Bible calls being led by God’s peace.

As I went through check-in, security check, transit and finally boarded my international flight, I saw many moments of God’s undeniable goodness even in something as insignificant as my journey back home. I’m sure He has better things to worry about but He evidently just poured out undeserving favor on my travel and let me tell you how.

Wrapping up three years of your life into 2.5 suitcases is unfortunately not as easy as you’d think it is. I stressed all of yesterday trying to pack. Out of sheer desperation, I raised my baggage from 50lbs to 70lbs, mentally telling myself it was worth the extra cost. I also had a carry on luggage, a very full backpack and a large purse. I was concerned that I will be penalized for my inability to shrink my life to fit the airlines’ baggage policy! As I walked up to the check-in counter, I nervously weighed my bags and the woman behind the desk put the “heavy weight” tag on. While I waited for her to slap me with a steep fee, she smiled at me and said, “Don’t worry about it.” Bewildered I looked at her while she kept smiling at me saying, “Ma’am, don’t worry about it.” Tell me that wasn’t the Lord?!!! When was the last time an airline waived 20lbs extra baggage??? My point exactly!

My travel itinerary included a domestic leg from Knoxville to Chicago and international leg from Chicago. If you know anything about international flights, you’ll know that they can be very snooty about baggage size, purse size and carry on. I was not following any of their regulations. I got past domestic check-in with ease. How was I supposed to handle international check-in? As I walked to the international terminal, I found out I didn’t have to go through international check-in at all. This meant, my baggage wasn’t going to be a problem. Tell me that wasn’t the Lord?!!! When was the last time you could board an international flight without having your carry on baggage weighed??? My point exactly!

Relieved to get past all security and baggage issues, I sat down by my gate, waiting to board. As I people watched, lo and behold I see a dear dear friend running toward me. He had a layover in Chicago and changed terminals to come see me. Oh how I was filled with joy! Tell me that wasn’t the Lord?!!! When it was time to board my flight, I gave my friend one last tight hug and bid him adieu. Waving my American friend goodbye, I felt like it was a symbolic reference to me waving goodbye to this country that I called home for 3yrs. And instead of being filled with sadness, I was filled with an overwhelming sense of peace. This must be what the Bible calls being led by God’s peace!

As I stand on the threshold of a new beginning, a brand new chapter in my life, I see God’s hand in these tiny aspects of my life. Isn’t it funny that even though I’m going back to the familiarity of the country I was born and raised in for 26yrs, it still feels like I’m entering a whole new world… Wandering into unchartered territory if you will! But I realize, if the Lord took this much care for the small things in my life, such as my baggage, how much more will He care for the bigger things in my life? How much thought and planning Hw must put into what seem like the uncertainties of my life?! Even though I am sad to have left my new friends, family, community and my life in America behind me, I realize it’s time for me to start afresh. It’s time for me to reunite with my family, catch up with old friends and build new community. It’s time for me to once again trust the Lord and know for a fact that He knows exactly what He is doing. Life will go on and in His time, He will make all things beautiful! While I don’t know what the future holds, I know without a shadow of doubt, WHO it is that holds my future! This is what it must feel like to be the daughter of the Prince of Peace! So India my love, I hope you’re ready for me because here I come!

In closing I have to say – I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord!

Enjoy the Free Fall

On By Rachel ChadalavadaIn Future, Life, UncertaintyLeave a comment

In four days I will be leaving Boone for good, and in ten days I will be bidding America adieu. While I know without a shadow of doubt that I am, at this very moment, in the center of God’s will, for the first time in my life, I have no plan. I have NEVER, not had a plan. But this time, as I watched the Lord shut the door to staying in America, I decided I wanted to enjoy every single minute that I spend here before I leave this country that I have grown to love. Because of this, I have consciously chosen not to think or plan about life in India, until I actually leave American soil and land on Indian ground. When I get to India, I know that the Lord will reveal to me what He wants me to do there. After all, He is the one taking me there.

So, as part of my intentional, “Enjoy America while you can” attitude, I decided that I was going to check at least one thing off of my bucket list. On June 6, 2016, I signed several accident and death waivers, strapped myself to a harness and jumped off a plane at a height of 10,000 feet. Yes, I went Skydiving! It was the most phenomenal experience I’ve ever had. I would do it again in a heartbeat and I highly recommend that everyone do it at least once in his or her lifetime! I know I say this now that my feet have safely grounded themselves on land. But, I have to admit, when I drove up to the Skydiving center in DC, I was nervous. I wasn’t going to back out of it of course but I kept wondering what possessed me to give in to this insanity. As I sat through the instructions of what was expected of me when I jump off the plane, I thought to myself, “This instructor is nuts if he thinks I’m going to remember all of that when my heart is lodged tightly in my throat.” Thankfully, he ended the training by reminding us that we will be strapped to an instructor who knows exactly what he is doing.

As my instructor strapped on my harness, he reminded me that he had over 7,000 jumps under his belt and that because he was in charge, I had nothing to worry about. He said that when we get on the plane, he would strap himself on to me and would instruct me every step of the way, at the right time – Not too soon. Not too late. So, placing my trust and literally my entire life in the hands of this complete stranger, I got on to the tiny jet with about nine other people. While we were on the plane, my instructor began working on strapping my harness on to his own. I hadn’t a clue of what he was doing and honestly, even if he explained it to me, I’d probably not understand. All I knew was that he was tugging at the various straps on my harness and constantly giving me instructions – stand up, sit down, move to the front, lean back, bend to the side… I had no idea why he was asking me to do these but I obeyed implicitly. I didn’t question him because I knew that he was my instructor. He knew what he was doing.

Finally, it came time for us to slide to the door of the plane. As he gave me final instructions, he reminded me that he knew exactly what he was doing and that all that was required of me was to simply follow his instructions as and when he gave them. With a quick “1, 2, whoa!” my instructor pushed us out of the 10,000 ft high plane and we began the downward spiral to the ground. As I felt the rush of the free fall, I couldn’t believe what I had done. I could see the Blue Ridge Mountains to my left, the glorious sky around me, the white cotton-ball-like clouds above me and the hard ground below me. As we were falling, my instructor tapped on my shoulder and instructed me to arch my back and raise my hands and legs to enjoy the free fall. And you know what? As I paid heed to his instruction, I did just that – I enjoyed the free fall. I didn’t care that I didn’t know my instructor’s plan. I didn’t care that I could splat on the ground very hard and very fast. I didn’t care that I was at the mercy of the wind swaying me in every possible direction. I didn’t care that my parachute wasn’t open. Heck I didn’t even know where the parachute was. I just knew that my instructor knew when to open the parachute and as long as he knew when to open it, I was fine. After an amazing 60secs free fall, my instructor pulled the parachute open and the pressure of the winds pulled us high up into the sky. While gliding through the sky, I once again felt my instructor tugging at my harness. Let me repeat myself here – My instructor and I were in mid air and he was working on my harness! One wrong move and I could easily get detached from him, fall to the ground and die! But I wasn’t scared. I completely trusted him. I trusted that he knew exactly what he was doing. He loosened the harness to make me more comfortable and eventually allowed me to even maneuver the parachute. Soon, he gave me instructions on landing and before I knew it, my butt gently grazed through the grass and I was back on the ground.

As my skydiving experience came to end, I realized that I did more than check something off my bucket list… I had learned a very practical and powerful lesson on faith and trust. Today I stand on the threshold of a very uncertain future. I can feel my Lord, the great Instructor working behind the scenes and I know without a shadow of doubt that He knows exactly what He is doing. I don’t see it. In fact, I don’t see anything. I don’t hear Him give me any instructions right now. But I know that I as I sit in that plane and head back to India, at just the right time, He will give me tell me what to do. At just the right time, He will reveal His plans. Until then, I choose to take comfort in the fact that I am tightly harnessed to the Lord. He has got my back. He’s holding me. He knows where the parachute is at and He knows when to open it. He knows how to maneuver it. He knows exactly what He is doing. And because of this, as I take this leap of faith into the next chapter of my life, I choose to enjoy the free fall… the rush that comes in fully and completely placing my faith, my hope and my trust in my Instructor, my Best Friend, my Father and my God, who is the Lord Jesus Christ.

If you, like me are headed for the unknown, unable to see what the Lord is doing or where He is leading you, may I encourage you – take the leap. Enjoy the free fall. You won’t regret it. The great Instructor has your back. He knows exactly what He is doing and when the time is right, He will instruct you in what you should do. And who knows, He may even let you maneuver the parachute!

In closing I have to say – I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord!

Neha and I getting ready to board the plane
All harnessed up
Heading to the door of the plane
1, 2, whoa!
Free Fall
Free Fall
The parachute is now open
Can you see me maneuvering the shoot?