Category: South Sudan

So Long, South Sudan!

On By Rachel ChadalavadaIn Life, South Sudan3 Comments

Today I leave South Sudan. I never thought I would pen down these words. Every international staff that comes here, knows this day will arrive. Now that it has arrived for me, I’m not entirely certain how to process it.

Traditional goodbye picture of Samaritan’s Purse South Sudan

It has been more than three and a half years of living in, and loving South Sudan. This nation, though devastatingly broken brought me incredible life, joy and laughter. I’ve made friendships that will last me a lifetime, and I get to call them family.

People often say to me, “How will you find love if you’re in a place like South Sudan?” Oh I wish they could see me now. I wish they could see that I did find love. I found love in the South Sudanese people, in the South Africans, Americans, Ugandans, Kenyans, Ethiopians, Nepalese, fellow Indians, Australians, Canadians, and Brits. I found love in the food distribution sites of Ajoung Thok and Yida. I found love at the rehabilitated borehole of Maiwut. I found love in the back of a shady canoe in the swamps of Mayendit. I found love in the crooked smile of a kid with a cleft lip and in the hen so lovingly offered by a beneficiary. I found love in the salute of our guard, in the “I know how Rachel likes her eggs” of our chef, in the “Kaif Rachel? Tamam?” of our housekeeping ladies. I found love in the life-giving hugs, numerous mugs of chai, coffee tastings, girls nights, therapy sessions, movie nights, cooking-up-a-storm nights, the many birthdays celebrations… the list can go on. I found love in friends that so quickly became family.

My time in South Sudan has been gut-wrenching, yet life-giving. I have grieved here and I have loved here. I have experienced loss and have experienced gain. I have seen beauty birth out of great pain – beauty from ashes. And in all of it, I know this with all my heart – God is in South Sudan. His hand of favor rests firmly upon this nation and upon its people.

This I know with all my heart, that God so loved South Sudan that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him, will have eternal life (John 3:16).

To anyone who says, “Rachel, there’s so much war and conflict and corruption here. How can you say God’s favor is on South Sudan?” To you I say from Romans 8:

He who did not spare His only Son, but delivered Him over for us all, will He not with Him, give us all good things? (Vs. 32). Who then will separate us from the love of Christ? Will tribulation, or trouble, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? (Vs. 35). But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor demons, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing will be able to separate us from the C love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord (Vs. 37-39).

As I bid this beautiful nation adieu, my prayer for it is this: Our Father, who art in Heaven. Hallowed be Your name. Your kingdom come. Your will be done in South Sudan, as it is in Heaven. Amen.

I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord.

God Was With (insert name)

On By Rachel ChadalavadaIn Future, Life, South Sudan, Uncertainty1 Comment

In less than three months, I would’ve completed three years of living in and loving South Sudan. Every ounce of service I’ve rendered to the people of this country has been worth it. Sure, living in a war-torn country has its pitfalls, but the calling has always been certain. It has always been sure. Until, around this time last year when I began praying about my next steps. South Sudan was never part of any of my plans, yet here I was. At the end of my first year in Juba, I asked the Lord if it was time for me to leave. His response was sure and certain – “Stay longer. Dig deeper.” So, during my second year in this young nation, that’s what I did. I dug deeper. Deeper in my job. Deeper in my relationships. Deeper in my personal growth. I became even more intentional with people, and that much more intentional with my job.

When you live in a country like South Sudan, life is unique. You have freedom, but your freedom is restricted. For example, all NGOs have a curfew – You must be back on your compound by 8pm. Also, you live on a compound. It is gated, fenced with barbwires, and has uniformed guards 24/7. As a woman, you have to exercise more caution – You can’t drive here. You can’t even go out for a walk by yourself. You must be escorted at all times. Sometimes, in the stillness of the night, you will randomly hear gunshots go off, with no explanation of why. After a certain time, locations like South Sudan begin to wear you out. It is easy to see why there is a quick turn over of aid-workers. So, at the end of two years of being here, I wasn’t out of line to once again ask the Lord if it was time for me to leave. After all, I had lived here for two full years. Without waiting for an answer, I started talking about wanting to leave with my leadership. I reached out to colleagues at our international head quarters to see if there were any openings outside of South Sudan. I knocked on every door I could find because I was convinced that two years here was long enough. I needed a change. Someone from our leadership asked me if I would stay longer, if I was offered a change here in South Sudan. I distinctly remember saying to him, “Saying yes to South Sudan, means I’m saying no to a lot of other things. I will have to think about it.” While I wasn’t entirely wrong in my statement, I only realized several months after that conversation that I was somehow convinced that if I wanted “more” out of my life, it could only happen when and if I left South Sudan, as if God was incapable of providing that “more” right here.

Over the past few days I’ve been reading the incredible story of Joseph that is recorded in the book of Genesis, chapters 37-50. Without going into too much detail, Joseph was the darling of his father, the apple of his eye. His brothers were jealous of the favoritism his dad showed him. Eventually they sell him off to a group of Egyptians, and he ends up in an Egyptian commander’s house as his slave. This is the very first in the story of Joseph where it says, “God was with Joseph.” This young boy finds favor in the eyes of the commander and is put in charge of his entire household. Because “God was with Joseph,” the commander and his household were blessed. Joseph is eventually falsely accused of making sexual advances toward the Commander’s wife, and is thrown into prison. The Bible says, “God was with Joseph.” He soon finds favor in the eyes of the Jailer, and he is put in charge of the entire prison. Long story short, Joseph makes his way up to being only next in command to Pharaoh, an eventuality that nobody could’ve possibly foreseen. What stands out to me in this, ‘rags to riches’ story, isn’t that Joseph went from rags, to riches, but that when he was in rags, “God was with Joseph.” In the lowest of lows, in the midst of captivity and slavery, in the hardest of hard places, “God was with Joseph.” For God to be with Joseph, Joseph didn’t have to be in another location. He didn’t have to be at a certain stage or season or phase in life. Wherever Joseph was, God met him there. God was with Joseph in the pit. God was with Joseph in the Commander’s house. God was with Joseph in the prison. God was with Joseph in Pharaoh’s house.

This morning in church we were singing the song “Goodness of God.” It’s one of my favorite songs and I’ve sung it so many times. Today however, the bridge hit me like a ton of bricks – “Your goodness is running after, it’s running after me.” I realized, without a shadow of doubt, that to experience God’s goodness, I didn’t have to leave South Sudan. I could experience it right here, just as I have over the past two years. What makes me think that God’s goodness is suddenly going to be withheld from me because I am entering year three? I know it seems foolish, and it is, but when feelings of being stuck and uncertain get in the way of your vision of who God is, and what He’s calling you to do, it is easy to get carried away. Please, don’t get me wrong. I’m not implying that living in a war-torn country is a cake-walk. It most definitely is not. Over the past few months I have wanted to desperately leave and make a run for it, and it was frustrating the daylights out of me that the Lord simply wouldn’t let me. It is true that saying “Yes” to South Sudan is definitely saying “No” to a lot of things, but I have to resonate with David’s words – “I will not offer to the Lord my God sacrifices that have cost me nothing.”

Yes, staying longer in South Sudan will cost me, but the cost of obedience is always worth it, whether I feel it or not, whether I see it or not. So, until it’s time to leave, I will stay. I will trust in the Lord with all of my heart, and I will not lean on my own understanding. In all of my ways I will acknowledge Him, and He will make my paths straight (Proverbs 3:5-6).

You prepare a table before me, in the presence of my enemies. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life (Psalm 23: 5-6 bits and pieces).

Here’s four points that you should take back from this post:

  1. Regardless of where you are, God is with you; Even if it doesn’t feel that way.
  2. Surely, goodness and mercy will follow you all the days of your life.
  3. God is faithful. He always has been. He always will be. He is trustworthy. He will not let you down.
  4. If God’s making you wait, He has good reason for it; Even if He won’t share the reason with you.

When darkness seems to hide His face
I’ll rest on His unchanging grace
Through every high and stormy gale
My anchor holds within the veil.

On Christ the solid rock I stand
All other ground is sinking sand.
All other ground is sinking sand.

In closing I have to say – I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord.

Chronicles of South Sudan: Worth It?

On By Rachel ChadalavadaIn Life, South Sudan7 Comments

Today marks two and a half months (10 weeks) of being here in South Sudan. Time flies when you’re having fun they say. However, ‘Fun’ isn’t the term you’d use for life here. Not because it’s not comfortable or convenient, but because the dire situation of people living in physical and spiritual brokenness will leave you distraught. It will make you question if anything you’re doing is worth it, or if you are even making a dent.

Over the past few weeks, I’ve been traveling to our various field sites and the things I’ve seen have left a lasting impression on my heart. I can’t ever un-see them. I’ve seen a whole county of people who are mere skin and bones. I’ve watched children running around naked because they don’t have a choice. They simply don’t have clothes. I’ve heard stories of how, when the country was in crisis, women fled with their children, while their husbands were being hacked to death. I’ve seen the faces of helpless refugees, and I’ve shaken hands with hungry children.

However, I have also seen little bright faces find immense joy in seeing a ‘Khawaja’ – anyone who is light skinned. A foreigner if you will. I’ve heard giggles of young boys and girls as they lay down nets to catch fish in mucky flood waters. I’ve borne witness to a community that is resilient and strong. I’ve seen women who sacrifice their own food rations, to help their neighbor who doesn’t have enough. I’ve seen people who serve refugees in South Sudan, while their own families live as refugees in the neighboring countries of Kenya, Uganda and even Ethiopia. And I’ve watched them serve with enthusiasm, love and compassion. It is one thing to leave your family and go to another country for work. It’s a whole other story for you to stay back to work, while sending your family to another country as refugees. The sacrifice is too great. Yet, for the sake of the calling, completely worth it.

South Sudan has humbled me in more ways than I can fully understand, and has taught me lessons that I’m still trying to process. For all the questions raised at my decision to move here, I can say this – I did the right thing answering the call. I regret nothing. Even though I don’t directly work with refugees and people living in extreme poverty, I get to support those who do. And I am deeply grateful to be able to do so.

I’ve learned so much in the short time I’ve lived here.

I’ve learned that you can’t feed the soul without first feeding the body. It is hard for anyone to pay attention to anything when all you can hear is the rumbling sound of hunger pangs. Jesus took care of both the spiritual AND the physical needs of people.

God cares deeply about the widows, the orphans, the stranger and the poor. If He didn’t, what exactly am I, and every other humanitarian aid worker doing in South Sudan?

Recently, I’ve been thinking a lot about the massive need there is in this country, and how much we are even able to do. I wonder often if this peoples suffering will ever end. And I wonder if the work we do makes enough of a difference, to all these people. As I pondered about this, I was reminded about the parable of the lost sheep, where Jesus talks about the shepherd who left 99 sheep behind, to go find that one lost sheep. Now I understand that the context of that story is very different from this current scenario. Hear me out nonetheless. This tale playing in my mind, I read a quote, I’m not sure who it is by, which says – “Jesus leaving the 99 to find one seems illogical, irrational and senseless, until that one is you!” And somehow it all just clicked. I realized that it doesn’t matter if the work we are doing is impacting and transforming the lives of a large number of Sudanese (refugees) and South Sudanese (host community) folk. If we are able to transform one life, then everything that we do here is worth it. In a world that only speaks the language of numbers, I am reminded that if Jesus ran after the one, then nothing should stop me from doing so as well.

Not being able to do enough, is no excuse for not doing anything at all.

So, was moving to South Sudan worth it? – Yes. A million times yes!

As you read this post, I hope you will take some time to pray for this country. Jesus is the hope for South Sudan. For now, I get to be His hands and feet here and for that, I am grateful.

In closing I must say, I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord!

 

 

DISCLAIMER: All views, opinions and ideas in this post and blog, are personal and do not reflect or represent those of my employer.

PS: Don’t miss admiring the confident pose of the little man in the extreme left in the photograph above, who is not a part of this family, but didn’t bat an eyelid to be a part of the picture. Haha! Kids right? 😉 #precious