Today marks three years of my dad’s passing (How has it been that long?) but it still feels like he breathed his last just the other day. I think of him often, and I miss him in the little things. When he was ill, and he was ill for a long time, God showed me what unprecedented favor looks like in hard situations. He showed me how His peace can reign in scenarios that are chaotic, and make zero sense.

Over a span of 13yrs, my dad spent considerable time in the hospital for several reasons – Stroke, abyss, bypass surgery, broken clavicle, chronic kidney disease, hypoglycemia, pace maker installation, renal failure, and sepsis. You might ask me, “Rachel, why didn’t God spare your father this sickness?” I don’t know. But He did spare his life, over and over and over again.

The minute we talk of illness or sickness of any kind, the Christian community especially is notorious for associating it with an attack from the devil himself. As someone who has seen sickness up close and personal over the past few years, while caring for my dad, this is something I think about often and here are my thoughts and responses to questions I’ve asked myself –

Q. Does sickness come from the evil one?
A. It is the consequence of sin that broke our perfect world.

Q. Does God allow sickness?
A. I don’t know but I do know that God uses sickness to fulfill His purposes. In other words, suffering of any kind is not in vain. At least not while you are a child of God.

Q. How can a good God and Father watch as my loved one suffers?
A. What makes me think that God is twiddling His thumbs while my loved one is suffering? If I don’t see it, does it mean God is not working?

Q. What did I do to deserve this?
A. Ah friend! If we all got what we deserved, we’d be in a whole lot of trouble. Therefore, with confidence I can say, you did nothing. Sickness, along with every form of brokenness, is a consequence of sin.

Q. If “By His stripes I am healed”, how come I’m still suffering?
A. I don’t know.

I can almost hear you say – Jeez Rachel! What is it that you do know?

This I know with all my heart – I’ve never had to face sickness – either mine, or that of a loved one, alone. Never. Not once. And I’m not referring to people – family, friends, loved ones. Sometimes they’re there. Sometimes they aren’t. But the Lord Himself, He’s been there every step of the way, all day, e’re day!

I’ve tasted sickness that’s both temporary and right now, and that which is chronic, and eventually leads to death. One is my own case and one is that of my dad. Do I wish that neither of us fell ill? Absolutely. But does that change the fact that God is/was/will be with us? Absolutely not! Does that change the fact that God is a God of healing? Absolutely not!

Here are some other things I do know –

But He was pierced for our transgressions, He was crushed for our iniquities. Upon Him was the chastisement that brought us peace. And with His wounds, we are healed (Isaiah 53:5)
If healing comes from God, then sickness cannot come from Him. After all, He cannot contradict Himself.

And the Lord said to Satan, “Behold he is in your hands, only spare his life” (Job 2:6).
Does this story from Job indicate that God allows for us to go through sickness? May be. I’m not sure. But it also is proof that God knew exactly what was going on. Job’s condition was not a surprise to Him, and neither is yours. God didn’t abandon Job. Neither does He, you.

And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28).
How can God use sickness for my good? He can, and He does. In the midst of that difficulty, God’s goodness and faithfulness shines through, if you only try to see it. It’s right there.

As people watching our loved ones suffer, we question God’s presence, God’s favor, and even His goodness. But if we are able to look at things from the perspective of the one suffering, you will see grace. Unexplainable grace. That’s what I saw with my dad. Yes he suffered long and hard, but it was in that sickness that I could see how much he clung to the Lord, and to His finished work on the cross. Sure, there were days of immense sadness and hardship, but he clung to His grace, and so did we as his family – My grace is sufficient for you; He is close to the broken hearted, the contrite of heart, I will not despise; I will never leave you, nor forsake you; Do not be afraid for I am with you. I will help you. I will lift you up with My righteous right hand.

When my dad eventually passed away, his face reflected the peace that he felt in his heart, in his mind, and in his spirit. My dad was ready to meet his Maker, and I know without a shadow of doubt, that his Maker received him with arms wide open.

Christmas and I have a love-hate relationship. While it is the celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ, a time for family and loved ones to gather together, it is also the time when my dad went to be with his Lord. And while that makes me sad, I know that he is more alive today, than he was when he was on this earth. I look forward to the day when I will see him again. I have this confidence that because Jesus Christ is the resurrection and the life, anyone who – in this case, my dad – believes in Him, will also be raised to life.

As we celebrate Christmas this year, I’m thinking of all those people who have lost their loved ones so close to this season; of all those whose loved ones are still suffering, and of those who themselves are struggling. May this season be the comfort that you need, to realize and recognize, that Christmas is proof that there is an end to the brokenness. Christ Himself brings about wholeness. The silence will not last long, and the darkness will be lifted. And together with the angels we can say, “Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace among people.”

For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in Him, will have everlasting life (John 3:16)

For a Child will be born to us, a Son will be given to us; and the government will rest on His shoulders; and His name will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Eternal Father, Prince of Peace (Isaiah 9:6)

In closing I have to say – I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord!

I still remember the day I left home for the very first time. It was July 2013. I was heading to the United States to pursue a higher education. Since then, to this day, travel, and being ‘displaced’ has just become a way of life, and oddly enough, I have absolutely loved it. I say ‘oddly’ because this is not a life I could have ever imagined for myself. Leaving home wasn’t an eventuality I had planned, or even hoped for. My dreams were very different, and not even remotely close to my current reality.

Every now and then I walk down memory lane. I think about all the things I wanted to do, and all that I wanted to be. My life definitely didn’t shape out the way I intended it. In my grand plan, there was no room for uncertainty. No room for questions about my next steps, or concerns about my life’s direction. But God’s plan… Oh man! His plans are so much better and greater and grander than anything my finite mind could conjure up. In His plan, there is always uncertainty, always a challenge, and most definitely a multitude of questions about direction and His sovereign will. Each of these excruciating realities however, have done nothing but stretch my faith, and force me to cling to Jesus Christ, the author and the finisher of my faith (Hebrews 12:2), and my very firm and steadfast anchor of faith (Hebrews 6:19). 

One of my favorite verses in the Bible is Ephesians 3:20 which refers to Christ as one who is able to do exceedingly more abundantly than we can ever ask or imagine. I often wonder at the writer’s use of the phrase ‘ask or imagine.’ And the more I think about it, the more I look back at where I was, how far I’ve come, where I am, and where I could be going, I understand the power of that phrase – This life I live today, I could never have imagined it. If I could never imagine it, how could I ever ask for it? Sure, there is a lot I want from life, and there’s a lot that one might say I’ve missed out on. But my life is a testament to the fact that trusting in the Lord with all of my heart and not leaning on my own understanding, acknowledging Him in all of my ways, has never deemed a vain endeavor. He has always made my path straight. Always.

For the most part I love my life. I’ve gotten used to being away from home, away from family, away from the familiarity of my native tongue. But when the holidays come around, it hits hard. You come to feel deeply, all the things you’ve said “No” to, in order to say “Yes” to the life you currently live. I typically have no regrets whatsoever. But when Christmas comes, I tend to wish things were different. Anyone away from home would resonate with that sentiment I suppose.

An aspect of the Christmas story that I absolutely love, is the story of Mary, the mother of Jesus, and her cousin Elizabeth. Luke chapter one records the angel Gabriel’s encounter with Mary and the announcement of the birth of Jesus Christ. After giving her the details of this miracle child, the angel says to her (vs 36-37), “And behold, even your relative Elizabeth herself has conceived a son in her old age, and she who was called infertile is now in her sixth month. For nothing will be impossible with God.” In the very next passage we read that Mary rushed to meet her cousin. 

I think about this often. Why did the angel tell Mary about Elizabeth? Why was that news so important that it was the continuation to Mary’s call to action, obedience and sacrifice? You know what I think? I think it was because the angel wanted Mary to see that she wasn’t alone. The journey she was on, the one with this massive calling to be the mother of Jesus, was going to be alien, unbelievable, and beyond comprehension to anyone who isn’t in the same boat. No one in their right mind, would understand what Mary was dealing with, nor would they believe it. Ah, but not her cousin. Elizabeth knew. Elizabeth understood. Elizabeth was on a similar journey.

As a humanitarian aid worker, I often find myself at a loss of words when describing my world to someone who hasn’t tasted this life. How can I explain why I would run into a disaster when the world is running away from it? How do I unravel to you the beauty of doing life in the tragedy? How do I express the immeasurable joy I feel in making a difference to one person, even if I’m not directly involved? How do I show you that it’s worth it? It really, truly is.

This Christmas was a quiet and intimate one. I spent it with two of my friends who couldn’t go home for the holidays. On Christmas Eve I made them a fancy dinner. We dressed up for no reason and pretended to be boujee. That didn’t last long – I think we ended up being goofier than boujee. We then decided we wanted to go on carol rounds, because, why not? So, with a guitar and a cajon in tow, the three of us went from door to door, knocking, and belting out “Deck the halls”, “Joy to the world” and “Feliz Navidad.” I don’t know who was more entertained – We, or our forced audience. On Christmas day, our entire base, about 13 people, went out for lunch, and then in the evening we had cookies, hot cocoa, the white elephant gift exchange, and more carols. My two friends and I ended the night with a cute movie. In that moment, at that time, my day was perfect. My Christmas was perfect. And I was so grateful for these people alongside who I could do life. The best part, they understood my life, what I felt, who I missed, how I could both enjoy being here, and still want to be far, far away. This tiny community that I had, was the family that God chose to place in my life right now, and for them, I’m grateful.

As you step into the threshold of a brand new year, I want to encourage you today – Who has God placed in your path? Who is walking this journey alongside you? Who can you look at today and know they will understand? Who can you look at today and say that you get them? Life was never meant to be done alone. God has placed people in your life to share your journey – Your friends, family, neighbor, colleague, acquaintance. You are not alone. Mary had Elizabeth. Who do you have? Look around. Maybe you’re a Mary today, in need on an Elizabeth. Or maybe you are an Elizabeth, with the ability to walk alongside a Mary. Who can you encourage? Who can you seek encouragement from?

In closing I have to say – I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord!

Happy New Year 2022!
May this year be a testament to God’s unfailing goodness and faithfulness.

Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live, and everyone who lives and believes in me shall never die. Do you believe this?” ~ John 11:25-26

The title of this post may sound morbid, but I assure you, the content in and of itself is worth the read. I’ve been thinking a lot about death and dying the past few weeks, and more so for the past few days. This is probably because I miss my dad. Very much. Not a single day goes by without me thinking about him. Later this month, it will be six months since he went home to be with Jesus. Some people who have witnessed my dad’s life may feel that he just didn’t catch a break and that life was unfair to him. He suffered long and hard. But when I look at his life, especially his season of illness, all I see is unperceivable grace and God’s abundant, unmerited favor. Through every illness – Stroke, bypass surgery, chronic kidney disease, kidney failure and finally sepsis, God’s goodness over his life and his condition is undeniable.

The most intimate moments I shared with my dad were when I was with him in the hospital. Over a span of three years, these days were many – they were more than I would like to admit. During this time, we talked some about life, but we talked more about death – Specifically HIS death. I hated it. I wish we didn’t discuss it but he somehow found comfort in talking about it so I would indulge in conversation. Through every conversation I could see that while I feared losing him, he didn’t for a minute fear death. It was as if death had no hold on him. The minute he said anything remotely close to dying, I would jump in and say, “How can you die dad? Don’t you want to see me get married? Don’t you want to spoil your future grandchildren?” I tried to be cute and lighten the mood, and he would smile and say, “I will see you get married. I’ll see you from heaven.”

I am not afraid of death. It doesn’t scare me one bit. I say that now as I face a bright future ahead of me. But what about someone who isn’t sure they have a future? What about someone for whom death is lurking close by? Would they stand fearless? My dad was that someone. And man was he dauntless.

Since my dad fell ill, I have been sensitive to the needs of people who do not have that much of a future ahead of them. Please don’t get me wrong. I have no doubt that God is more than able to heal anyone and everyone. But I also know that death is inevitable. I’ve met people who are petrified of undergoing minor procedures because they are afraid they might die. I’ve met others who are in fact facing the reality of death head on, but are facing it with fear. They’re scared. It makes me wonder – What about death scares someone? Is it that they are missing out on life? Could it be that they’re afraid of their families moving on without them? Or is it that there is nothing more uncertain than death? After all, no one has ever come back from death, to tell us what it is like, or to coach us through it, or to assure us that there is more to life than just living and dying. What if I told you there actually was someone like that?

My dad was never a vocal Christian. He didn’t talk a lot about his faith. He chose to live it. While I witnessed my dad’s faith in the way he lived, I witnessed his faith more in the way he died. He faced it without fear. He was dauntless. This was not because he had no fear. It was because he overcame it. In the midst of a lot of pain and suffering and uncertainty, he attributed his peace and hope to Jesus Christ. After all, He is the only one who faced death with certainty. He beat death once and for all. An empty grave is there to prove my Jesus lives! He is proof that there is more to life, and there is more to death. He is the certainty of life after death. My dad had that certainty because he had a relationship with Jesus. In John 10:14, Jesus says, “After a little while the world will no longer see Me, but you will see Me; because I live, you will live also.”

There are some journeys in life that you have to go through alone. No one can walk them with you. Death is one such journey. I was with my dad through every single one of his illnesses. I was with him when he was rushed from hospital to hospital. I was with him when we brought him back home. I was with him when his sugars fell in the middle of the night. I was there to sneak in his favorite snacks when he was undergoing dialysis. I was there to feed him his meals when he was too weak to eat them himself or when he just wanted to be pampered. I was next to him when he stared at the IV drip and wondered how long he had to live this way. He had his down times. He was sad and sometimes depressed. But his peace and joy NEVER left him. He demonstrated the difference between happiness and joy – One is circumstantial. The other, an overflow of a relationship with the One in Whom is life abundant. The only time I couldn’t be with my dad was when he breathed his last. I couldn’t be with him in death. No one could. That moment, and every moment since, are between him, and his God.

The closer my dad got to death, the more intimate his relationship became with Jesus. His prayers became a conversation as one with whom the connection is deep and certain. As I watched my dad live his best life while on the path to the grave, I learned a very important truth – Your perception and certainty of what happens after death, will inevitably shape and impact how you live, and how you die.

On December 22, 2019 my dad was finally laid to rest. At this very moment he is chilling with Jesus, the angels, his parents and my mom’s parents, and so many other precious friends and loved ones who have gone ahead of me. I know without a shadow of doubt, that when my time comes – whether that be today, tomorrow, or several years from now, I will be reunited with him in heaven. I am certain of it.

That said, my family and I continue to grieve. Of course we do. We miss him. But as much is true, that “we do not grieve as those without hope. For since we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so, through Jesus, God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him. According to the Lord’s word, we tell you that we who are still alive, will certainly not precede those who have fallen asleep. For the dead in Christ will rise again” (1 Thessalonians 4:14-15 paraphrased).

One of my dad’s favorite songs goes like this –

And then one day, I’ll cross that river
I’ll fight that final war with pain
And then as death gives way to victory
I’ll see the light of glory and I’ll know He lives! Because He lives I can face tomorrow. Because He lives, ALL FEAR IS GONE.

O death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting?” The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law; but thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ ~ 1 Corinthians 15:55-57

“For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain” ~ Philippians 1:21

In closing I have to say – I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord

When you come to be my age, there are many things that will begin to annoy you. However, topping the charts is that one dreaded question – “When are you getting married?” Other questions similar to this one that are cringe worthy include, “How come you haven’t found a husband yet?” “Didn’t you find anybody when you were overseas?” Mentally rolling my eyes, I smile at all the uncles and aunties and my married friends who have now suddenly become aunties, and respond – “I’ll get married as soon as I find a guy.” “I don’t know why I haven’t a husband yet. If I knew, I’d fix it.” “No, I didn’t find anyone overseas. If I did, I wouldn’t still be single.”

Please don’t get me wrong. I understand that these questions all come from a place of love. But when put in this manner, the love seems to translate into an accusation of sorts that makes you feel as if, a) It is somehow your fault that a man hasn’t “found” you; b) Something is wrong with you because of which no one wants to marry you; and c) What you offer is not enough.

May I just make a blanket statement on behalf of all my fellow single ladies? At our age, we are single not by choice. While sometimes it is hard, most of the time we are okay with it. And you should be too. Unless you know a single, Christ-loving man, then you should totally introduce us!

When I was a little girl, I used to tell my dad – “Dad, you have until I’m 22 to find me a man. If you don’t, at 24, I will bring a man and introduce him to you as your son-in-law. You’ve been warned.” My dad may have thought I was a lost cause. Haha. My younger self would never have imagined that I would be single in my thirties. But that same younger self could not ever, in her right mind, imagine all that the Lord had in store for her. Caring for her sick dad. Traveling 15 countries. Living in South Sudan. Serving the widows, the orphans and the downtrodden, the poor and the refugees. What? The truth of the matter is, right now, in this moment, I am living my best life yet, although to many, I haven’t yet “settled down.”

Another thing that becomes a massive aspect with age is career. By this age I need to achieve this. By this time, I should’ve checked this off. I need to get to this level. I need to earn so much. I was talking to one of my best friends recently and she said to me, “Age is not on my side. I am not growing any younger. Time is running out and I’m still stuck here.” I agree that career is important and you should actively pursue having one. However, I often wonder, who sets this pace? Who creates these parameters? Who defines what you should be doing at what age? Each of our lives are so different. My struggles are not yours and your baggage is not mine. Your skills and mine are poles apart. So if we are so uniquely created and lead such specific lives, can we really create a standard operating procedure of sorts to determine what must be done when and hold ourselves to that standard, to the point where living up to that standard becomes more of a burden than a calling?

As I thought about all these, God laid this verse on my heart:

“But as for me, I trust in You, O Lord.”
I say, “You are my God. My times are in Your hands…”
~ Psalm 31:14-15a

I love how the Psalmist says, “But as for me.” It doesn’t matter how it is for anyone else. My times… my individual specific times, are in God’s hands. For someone like me who always has to have a plan and have that plan executed to the T, this verse is a stress-buster that reminds me that even though at times I feel like I’m lagging behind, ultimately my times are in God’s hands and in that lies my security and strength. When He knows what He’s doing, and His plans for me are good, to prosper and not harm me, to give me a hope and a future, I shouldn’t worry now, should I? Exactly. And neither should you.

My God is perfect.
His plans are perfect.
His timing is perfect.

When the time is right, I, the Lord, will make it happen ~ Isaiah 60:22

In closing I have to say – I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord.

No matter how much you prepare yourself, I don’t think you can ever truly be ready for that dreaded call. It comes though – sooner or later. If you are lucky, you will be the one to make that call. But if you are not, then you will be the one to receive it – like me.

My sister called me this morning at 6am. As the Lord would have it, my dad went home to be with Him. All I could do in that moment was regret not being there physically with him when it happened. I know that there isn’t a thing that I could’ve done. But I wish I was there. So, as I often do, I took this sadness to the Lord in prayer. I said to Him, “Lord, I wish I was there when my dad died.” This loving Father reminded me, “You were there when he was alive.” And it’s true. I was. I was there earlier this month to celebrate 75yrs of God’s faithfulness in my dad’s life. I was there to talk to him one last time last night.

But what if I wasn’t? What if I got caught up in the busyness of life? What if I didn’t take that extra minute to hug him and tell him I loved him? What if I brushed away his concerns about moving to South Sudan? What if I never visited him while he was still here? What if I let resentment creep him for all the things that he did or didn’t do? What if? What if? What if? Would I have been able to live with that kind of regret? That would be a resounding ABSOLUTELY NOT!

I think about how this God who created my inmost being, knew my inmost being, and knew how important it was for me to be there with my dad. When my US visa didn’t come through three years ago, it didn’t feel like God had my best interest at heart. Now in hindsight, I know that He did. Staying home for three years without a full time job seemed painful and frustrating at the time. It didn’t feel like God had my best interest at heart. Now in hindsight, I know that He did.

These past three years my sister and I were able to spend time with my dad – time that was rich in both quality and quantity. We got to boss him around and he got to drive us up the wall. He got to steal all my tshirts and I got to pretend that it bothered me. My sister and I got to be his courage and my mom’s strength when things got bad. We got to have deep, meaningful conversations with my dad – someone who was a man of very few words. So were my “shattered dreams,” my “disappointments,” my “frustrations” worth it? Absolutely. If I had to do it again, I would in a heart beat.

I may not have been there when my dad took his final breath. But I made sure I was there every other moment. The love of his life, my mom, got to share that very last moment with him. I guess, in the grander scheme of things, it was good for her, the one who made a lifetime of vows to him, to be by his side. I wouldn’t have seen it that way but God did. My mom was not alone though. She has two strong pillars by her side – My sister and my brother in law. And soon I will join them too.

My sweet daddy went to be with the Lord today. I’ve never met anyone more resilient than him. He fought long and he fought hard. And now, finally, he gets to rest. He doesn’t have to fight any more. He has finished the race. He has kept the faith. And because of Jesus’ finished work on the cross, I will see him again! May be not today, may be not tomorrow, but one day I will, and I will celebrate in heaven alongside him, as I have done on earth.

For now, you take rest daddy. Until I see you again, I love you!

In closing I must say – I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord!

I always knew this day would come. I just didn’t expect it to happen so fast and in this way. India was a place of transition for me – that was a given. But I had no inkling of where God was going to lead me. My only prayer was – Lord, when You open the door, give me the grace to walk through it, no questions asked.

The last three years of my life have been the most uncertain, yet most fruitful. I was able to establish intimacy with God in a way that made the valley experiences, just as wonderful as the mountain tops, even though, truth be told, it was more in the valley times that I could feel God’s presence and be sure of His sovereignty. And for the times I didn’t feel a thing, His grace has sustained me. Through it all one thing stood true – that God is good and everything He did or did not do, was for my good. I’ve come to realize that even though times of waiting are quite excruciating, the longer you “wait”, the more you’ll understand that it’s not so much about the door that God’s opening, as it is about the God who opens the door.

After three years of knocking, the door – the right door, opened for me and I accepted the position of “Media and Communications Manager” to serve with Samaritan’s Purse in South Sudan. Yes, you read that correctly – SOUTH SUDAN! I know what you’re thinking. Everyone around me thought the same thing. Even I thought the same thing – Of all places to be called to, was it really going to be one that was war-torn?

Africa has never been on my radar. God and I never talked about it. I may have wanted to visit it, but that’s about it. Moving there was never an option. As I prayed about this new role, I asked the Lord if He was really calling me to go to South Sudan. After all, what did I have to offer? Was I hearing Him right? As I soaked my decision in prayer, I could very evidently feel the Lord nudge my heart. Actually, “nudge” is an understatement. This is what He laid on my heart – “Rachel, if the door I am opening for you is not the one you wanted, or like the one you were expecting, would you still walk through it? If you wanted to be on the top of the world but I led you to the ends of the earth, would you still go? Would you still trust that I am on your side?” In response, as it rightly should be, I packed up my life into three suitcases and a carry on and said, “Here I am Lord, send me!”

I have officially embarked on this brand new journey, one that is completely alien to me, but entirely known to my Father. I am excited and thoroughly convinced that the One who began a good work in me, is faithful to complete it. I know without a shadow of doubt that the God of angel armies is going before me. He is the one Who ordained my steps and He is the one Who is by my side.

So Africa, here I come!

In closing I must say, I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord!

PS: Many people have asked that I keep them updated on this new chapter of my life. If you too would like to be included on a monthly email update, please send me a message with your email ID and I’ll be happy to keep you posted.

For the first time in a very very long time, I don’t know where to start. I’m overwhelmed and taken aback and just… speechless and out of words.

As I write this, I’m walking around terminal A of New York’s Newark Liberty International airport, with a hot chocolate (Yum) in hand and a full, grateful heart, waiting for my next flight.

In January 2016, my associate position with Samaritan’s Purse was coming to an end and I had begun praying about returning to India. At the time God didn’t say “Yes, go to India” or “No, you’re not going to India.” All He said was, “I’m going to bring you back to this land.” I didn’t understand what that meant because I hadn’t left America. But in June 2016, I did. My H1B application didn’t go through and I came back to India. I came back with more questions than answers, more uncertainties than surety, more insecurities than security, more confusion than clarity. The one thing that remained constant through it all, was God’s goodness and faithfulness and His promise to bring me back to “this” land.

Like He always does, God kept His word and here I am, three years later, on a flight to North Carolina, to a place I once called home! God made me a promise, and no matter how “long” it took, He followed through. You know, I can’t even begin to tell you how many times I tried to help Him fulfill His promise (and failed), as if He needed my assistance (Pffffff!) and how many times I doubted if He remembered, He cared, or if, at the very least, He had a plan for me.

Long story short, I am a testament to this – God did remember. He did care. And He definitely did have a plan – A plan to prosper me and not harm, to give me a hope and a future.

I don’t know what promise you are waiting for, but allow me to encourage you –

• There is grace in the waiting.

• There is purpose in the waiting.

• There is intimacy in the waiting.

• The waiting is for your good.

• The waiting is preparing you for the adventure ahead.

• The waiting is teaching you that even when you can’t see, God is not silent. He’s working all things for your good. He knows what He’s doing. And for now, that is enough.

My season of waiting has been transformational. In fact, I didn’t even realize that God was working on my behalf and bringing me to this very point in my life. And along the way He opened doors I never thought existed, brought me opportunities I could never fathom, and adventures I’m still reeling from. During these three years:

• I could be there with my dad as he went from being diagnosed with chronic kidney disease, to beginning dialysis and needing someone by his side, to severe blood poisoning, to starting a new method of dialysis, to my mom becoming my dad’s primary caregiver and my parents becoming and living life independent of me.

• I travelled 11 countries including exotic places like Fiji, Italy, Spain and France, and got to meet my best friend who I hadn’t seen in 6yrs.

• I learned that the church matters. People matter. If we can just stop thinking about what the church can do for you, or how it has failed you, you’ll see that the church has some very real and pressing needs, and you should step in and fill it.

• I learned that the church will be my community if and only if I let it.

• I learned that not all needs must be met by leadership. You can meet them too. So do it.

• I got to develop intentional relationships with some sweet young girls/women who I know are future leaders.

Every time I stopped to look back at how far I’ve come, all I can be is grateful. The path God has carved for me isn’t one that I could’ve ever carved for myself and my only response to it has been “Then sings my soul, how great Thou art!”

If you take nothing back from this post, take this – God does remember. He does care. He definitely has a plan. And sooner than later, when the time is just right, He’ll show you His perfect plan.

“He who started a good work in you, will be faithful to bring it to fruition.”

In closing I must say – I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord!

PS: Yes I did eat Chick-Fil-A and yes, it tasted just as good as I remember it!

One of the hardest things you can do is to watch your loved one suffer and be completely incapable of doing anything to help or make them feel better. That feeling of helplessness is … let’s just say I wouldn’t wish it on anyone!

Some of you know that about two and a half years ago, right after I returned from the United States, my dad was diagnosed with chronic kidney disease, and subsequently with kidney failure. For two years he’s been on dialysis and with dialysis comes nausea, constant fatigue, heavy food restrictions and low immunity.

Recently though, something worse took over his body — He developed acute sepsis, or what is also called, “Blood Poisoning.” And yes, the condition is in fact, as scary as the name. I’ve seen my dad have medical emergencies before but nothing came remotely close to what he had now developed. It seemed like he had one foot in the grave. What made this situation worse for me was the fact that at the time, I was in Delhi for work. As soon as I found out though, I took the first available flight back to Hyderabad. At the baggage carousel, I was trying to give myself a pep talk because I didn’t know what to expect when I see my dad. While a billion different thoughts filled my head, a song played in my mind’s background — Yes, I hum in my thoughts as well! The lyrics of the song I was subconsciously humming went like this –

After all You are constant
After all You are only good
After all You are sovereign
Not for a moment did You forsake me!

The song was absolutely right. The Lord has never forsaken me in the past. Not even for a moment. There was no way He was going to forsake me now. I consciously chose to shift my focus from the uncertainty of this circumstance to the certainty of my faithful God. So, while my dad was busy taking a walk in the “Woods” I decided to look for God’s hand in such painful events. Surely, His presence was with me. But could I see it? Was I willing to open my eyes to His grace that followed us through the woods?

Nervously I entered the ICU, not knowing what to expect. As I walked to my dad’s bedside, I saw him stare into infinity, until, his gaze locked on me and his face beamed! Grace.

Words didn’t come out of his mouth and I doubt he remembered my name. But he recognized me! Grace.

My brother-in-law could catch the infection in time and make arrangements at the hospital for his treatment. Grace.

The antibiotics that were administered to him worked in his body. Grace.

The cardiologist caught an irregularity in his heartbeat and began medications. Grace.

The nephrologist was able to identify a problem with his current dialysis arrangement and also come up with a plan. Grace.

With all my crazy travels, I was in India when this happened and I could be by my dad’s side within no time. Grace.

Against all odds, to the doctors’ amazement, my dad made a full recovery. Grace.

Financial arrangements were made to take care of all medical expenses even without insurance. Grace.

Over these past two and half years, from doctors appointments to tests to diagnosis to treatment to follow up to medical emergencies, the Lord allowed my sister and me to stand by my dad. Grace.

My dad still has the many complications that come with the terminal illness of kidney failure and not one of them has miraculously gone away. But whoever said that grace was only found in healing? From stroke, to bypass, to kidney biopsy, to several middle-of-the-night runs to the ER, to dialysis, to pacemaker installation, to sepsis/blood poisoning, and now to a failed fistula, my dad has been through a lot. But the way I look at it, he could only go through it and be the fighter that he is, because of grace and grace alone.

Why do we or our loved ones – Parents, children, siblings, spouses – go through pain and suffering? I don’t know. Why does healing come to some and not to others? I don’t know. Will it ever get easier? I don’t know. But this I do know – “T’was grace that brought us safe thus far, and grace will lead us home.”

If this entire ordeal has taught me anything, it is this — God is exactly who He says He is: Provider, Healer, Protector, Restorer — Even when my circumstance dictates otherwise. And for such circumstances, He says but one thing — “My grace is sufficient for you!”

In closing I must say – I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord.