Tag: Chaos

Surely, The Lord Is In This Place

On By Rachel ChadalavadaIn Chaos, Future, Life, Uncertainty, WorshipLeave a comment

Every so often, I start fresh in Genesis—journeying through the Bible from the very beginning. Each time I start over, something new speaks to me.

Recently, one verse has stayed with me:

Then Jacob awoke from his sleep and said, ‘Surely the Lord is in this place, and I did not know it.’ — Genesis 28:16

Let’s look at how Jacob came to that moment.

His mother Rebekah had convinced him to deceive his father Isaac by pretending to be his brother Esau to receive the blessing of the firstborn. This enraged Esau—Enough for him to want to kill Jacob. Fearing for Jacob’s life, Rebekah urged him to flee.

So Jacob ran—literally fleeing for his life—and ended up in the place he would later name Bethel. There, exhausted, afraid, perhaps traumatized and wrecked with guilt, Jacob lay his head on a rock. He was alone, uncertain of his future, completely out of control.

And yet—it was in that very place that God revealed Himself to Jacob in a dream. It was there that Jacob received a promise:

I am the Lord, the God of your father Abraham and the God of Isaac. The land on which you lie I will give to you and to your descendants. Your descendants will also be like the dust of the earth… and in you and in your descendants shall all the families of the earth be blessed… I am with you and will keep you wherever you go… I will not leave you until I have done what I promised you. — Genesis 28:13–15

When Jacob wakes up, he realizes something profound: God had been with him all along—he just hadn’t known it — Hadn’t perceived it.

Fast forward to the story of Joseph, Jacob’s son, recorded in Genesis 37–50.
Joseph—his father’s beloved—was sold into slavery by his own brothers. Imagine how he must have felt: scared, betrayed, abandoned, wronged. The Bible doesn’t describe his emotions, but they’re not hard to imagine.

Yet the Bible tells us this: God was with Joseph.

This young man found favor in the eyes of the Egyptian commander and was put in charge of his household. Over the next several chapters, Joseph is wronged again and again—falsely accused, imprisoned, forgotten. And yet, the Bible repeats: God was with Joseph.

My life the past few years has been focused on humanitarian assistance, providing spiritual and physical aid to hurting people around the world in Jesus’ name. The people I serve have been victims of war, poverty, natural disasters, disease, and famine. They are in their current state through no fault of their own. These people have lost their homes, land, livelihoods—even loved ones. Their future is uncertain.

Their homes are gone, but their mortgages remain.
Their cars are gone, but the payments persist.
Their loved ones are gone, but they must endure.

They didn’t ask to be in this place. But here they are.

Some haven’t even begun to process the past, let alone imagine a future.
And yet, in this place, shaped by a storm of some sorts that uprooted lives, God was there—and they weren’t even aware of it. God is there in the teams that show up to provide food, clean water, nutrition commodities, medical assistance, and even shelter; to share the love of Jesus.

So, what about you? What brought you to the place you find yourself in today? Do you see God in it? Are you aware of His presence?

Will you, like Jacob, say, “Surely the Lord is in this place, and I didn’t know it”?

Will you, like Joseph, trust that God is still with you?

Have you, like the people I get to serve, seen the Lord meet you at your point of need?

Will you let Him?

Regardless of how you got here—or how I got here—this is true:

God is in this place. And perhaps, that isn’t just enough—it’s everything.

I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord!

What Should I “DO”?

On By Rachel ChadalavadaIn Chaos, Future, Life2 Comments

Today marks exactly four months since my unexpected return to India. Some days I feel like I never left. On other days, I cannot believe that I am back. Not that being back is bad. It’s just … How do I put it? … It’s weird. I wish I could explain it better but all my friends who lived in a foreign country and came back to their motherland will know what I mean. Let’s just say that reverse culture shock is a real thing. Getting readjusted to life in India is a challenge. Unfortunately not everyone understands that. People never fail to remind you that you have only been away for three years and that India is where you were born and raised. Trust me, I know that. I realize that and I am NOT trying to stand out or have a chip on my shoulder. Au contraire mon amie, all I really want more than anything is to get back to living in India – I have zero intention of keeping my heart in America and my feet here.

Other than going bonkers over the constant honking and the sudden overwhelming realization that we Indians are LOUD, it’s been good to be back – For the most part that is. It’s been wonderful to be back with family and have the freedom to go see my niece and nephews whenever I want. The first month and half was great. My only goal in life was to chill and enjoy just being here, not worrying too much about what the future holds. But after those 45 days went by, the four dreaded words came out of every single person I passed by – “So, what’s your plan?” On the surface I smile and tell them that I am taking one day at a time and seeking the Lord to show me the next steps. But on the inside, I’m screaming, pulling my hair apart, wishing with all my heart that I knew the answer to that painful question.

Some of you know that I have been working with Operation Christmas Child International as an International Field Representative (IFR). This requires me to travel quite a bit and observe distribution events, which I ABSOLUTELY love! I get to watch first hand the joy that the effort and love of you wonderful shoebox packers make on the lives of little children. If I tell you some of the stories I’ve witnessed, you’ll need a box of tissues – I kid you not. But the position of an IFR is neither full time nor permanent. While I thoroughly enjoy what I do, I once again wonder, “What next?” The more I pray about it, the more I know that the Lord hasn’t released me from OCC yet. I’m still completely sold out to the power of a simple shoebox gift. However, the most difficult part of being back in India and being with OCC is that because I travel a lot, I am unable to build any community. I know it seems weird since I’ve lived my whole life in India. Truth be told, time and distance make a big difference in friendships and community. From the time I have returned, I’ve been begging the Lord for a community. I’m constantly surrounded by this overwhelming feeling of standing with suitcases in my hand and being completely incapable of putting them down and just resting. I’m convinced that, for reasons only He knows, the Lord is intentionally keeping me from building community, laying down roots or investing in relationships.

The other day, while in Delhi on OCC work, I sat in my hotel room praying about where my life was headed. Somehow I ended up watching a video about people being in the pit from time to time. Now I’m not quite sure what happened but all I remember from that evening is that I just burst in to tears. I cried like I hadn’t in years! Once I was done, I felt like this burden lifted from my shoulders. I feel so much better. While crying my heart out to the Lord, I caught myself saying these words – “What do You want me to do Lord? Please tell me. What should I do?” And I realized, the Lord is already working in the background. He doesn’t want me to be “Doing” anything. He just wants me to BE. For a doer like me, that was hard to accept. But it explains why I’ve been so frustrated. While I want to “Do” He just wants me to “Be.” I’ll be honest – I’m still trying to figure out how to do this but at least I now know where my lesson lies. I trust the Lord with all of my heart and I know that His reasons for keeping me waiting will in time be well worth it.

So until the Lord thinks I am ready to see the manifestation of His plans for me, I have to say – I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord!

 

I Can’t See ANYTHING!

On By Rachel ChadalavadaIn Future, Life, UncertaintyLeave a comment

Today I began the heart wrenching process of packing. I’ve dreaded having to sort through my things – Things that I lovingly gathered over the past three years of my life. I took pictures of all that I needed to sell and made piles of the things I was giving away. With each item I set aside, I felt like I was tearing up a piece of my heart! I know that this is all just stuff. But this is MY stuff. Stuff that I thoughtfully put together to use in MY home! Never did I think that life in Blowing Rock would be so short lived.

I know that as I head out of America, I’m heading home. But it doesn’t seem like that. America, Boone and Blowing Rock seem more like home that India and Hyderabad. I feel bad saying that but I just fell in love with what I hoped was home. I truly hoped with all of my heart that with my employment at Samaritan’s Purse, my uncertainty would finally come to an end, my wait would finally cease and I could finally settle down without having to wonder where my life was headed. Never did I expect to get back to what seems like square one!

This isn’t the first time that I’m uprooting my life. I did it once before in 2013 when I left India for America. But as I packed my life into two suitcases and a carry-on, I knew where I was headed. Even though it was heartbreaking to leave my parents, sister, brother-in-law and darling niece and nephews, my heart was full of hope – not the “hope” we use as a synonym for may be but hope that is definite! When I said goodbye to my very comfortable life in India and got on to a plane to enter in to this whole new world called America, I knew without a shadow of doubt that I was in the center of God’s will. Even though I was entering a land where I would always be an alien, a foreigner, someone who would have to jump through bazillion different hoops simply to do things the legal way, I still knew that I was EXACTLY where God wanted me. I KNEW that my move was an act of obedience.

However today, as I once again uproot my life, I’m hopeful. But this time, it’s the kind of “hope” that we use as a synonym for may be, perhaps. I want to be filled with the hope that is definite but I’m just not. May be when I actually leave, it’ll begin to make sense. Right now, I simply don’t get it!

Please don’t get me wrong. I’m very excited about seeing my family and being home after a very long time. I’m thrilled that I’m going to be able to hang out with my teenage niece and dote over my extremely “macho” nephews who are as macho as a 10yr old and an 8yr old can be. I’m going to be able to chill with my mother and sister and not worry about exhausting my vacation. I’ll get to drive my scooter on the streets of Hyderabad, and I’ll get to eat mango that is extremely sweet. I’ll get to eat street food and bargain against fixed prices. Living in India comes with its perks.

But I’m freaked out! The thought of restarting my life all over again is scary! People ask me – “What are your plans for when you get to India?” And my answer – I have no idea! I don’t even have the “p” in “plan.” Even though I’m heading for India in less than a month, I still don’t feel like I’m being called there. My fear is that God is in fact calling me back but I’ve just become deaf to His voice. I mean, what kind of a daughter fails to hear her own Father’s voice? What exactly am I missing? This time as I uproot my life, I don’t know if I’m in the center of God’s will. I don’t know if I am exactly where the Lord wants me. I don’t know if I’m moving in an act of obedience. I don’t know ANYTHING! I can’t see ANYTHING! I’ve NEVER been so clueless in my life! I know that God knows exactly what He’s doing… I just wish I got a glimpse of it. I just wish I could see!

As I walk through this newfound darkness, I am reminded of the time my nephew Anand was a toddler. He was a feisty little independent tiny person. When we went outside, he’d refuse to hold my hand. I had to forcefully hold on to him but he would somehow wriggle out and keep walking ahead all on his own. The only time I felt his little hand clutch my finger, as if he were holding on for dear life, was when we were walking in darkness and he wanted to stay as close to me as possible. He just didn’t want to let go.

So today, I choose to become a toddler and hold on to my Father’s hand for dear life. Even though I feel blind and completely clueless, I will trust in the one Who created my inmost being and knew me from my mother’s womb. Even though I cannot see ANYTHING, I am choosing to trust in the Lord with all of my heart. I am choosing to lean not on my own understanding. In all my ways I’m choosing to trust Him and because of this, I am choosing to believe that He will make my path straight!

Though I sit in darkness, the Lord will be my light.

~ Micah 7:8b

In closing I have to say – I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord!

If I Told You…

On By Rachel ChadalavadaIn Chaos, Future, Life2 Comments

Since the time people found out about my return to India, I have received a range of reactions. Some have encouraged me to keep my eyes fixed on Jesus and trust Him with this next phase. Others have felt sorry for me and felt even more pain than I myself have felt. Still others have told me how wonderful it was that I was going to be closer to my family and some others bombarded me with questions of how I will survive in my motherland – the country that raised me for 26yrs of my life and made me the woman that I am today. Some (bless their hearts) were downright mortified hearing my news.

This made me ask myself – What are people seeing in my story? What stands out to them? And I wondered – If there was anything that I wanted people to take away from my story, what would it be? What would I want them to focus on? Who would I want to shine through my story?

This song by Big Daddy Weave came to mind –

If I told you my story
You would hear Hope that wouldn’t let go
And if I told you my story
You would hear Love that never gave up
And if I told you my story
You would hear Life, but it wasn’t mine

If I told you my story
You would hear victory over the enemy
And if I told you my story
You would hear freedom that was won for me
And if I told you my story
You would hear Life overcome the grave

If I should speak then let it be
Of the grace that is greater than all my sin
Of when justice was served and where mercy wins

Of the kindness of Jesus that draws me in
Oh to tell you my story is to tell of Him

This is my story, this is my song
Praising my savior all the day long!

As I enter this new adventure that Jesus has very thoughtfully brought me to, I encourage you to not see the struggle, the pain, the confusion, the hurt, the disappointments or even the achievements I’ve had. Instead, my prayer is that you will see, very evidently, the loving Father, the victorious King and the great Comforter. To tell you my story, is to tell of Him!

In closing I have to say – I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord!

Whoa! What Just Happened?

On By Rachel ChadalavadaIn Future, Life4 Comments

Have you ever felt like the ground below your feet was suddenly pulled away? Like someone sucked the air out of your lungs and in an instant your whole life was topsy-turvy? Well that about sums up my past two days.

Yesterday I found out that my name did not get picked in the H1B lottery. This means that my application will not even be considered for a visa and I will need to leave the country soon. While I have no regrets in returning to my country, my motherland that made me the woman that I am, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t disappointed.

When I came to America in 2013 I thought I was going to come, study and leave. I never thought this would be a learning ground for me. The Lord made it clear that He had a plan for me here that went beyond just attending graduate school. He opened my eyes to new experiences that I wouldn’t have known if I didn’t come here. When I moved to Boone and began working with Samaritan’s Purse, I was convinced that God called me here. He went ahead of me and created a position for me. He gave Samaritan’s Purse the courage and strength to fight for me. I didn’t have a single shadow of doubt that I was exactly where I was supposed to be. The way things were falling in to place, I knew that I would get my visa. I mean, why wouldn’t I? If God brought me so far, He’d definitely see it through. Right?

So you can imagine my shock when I found out that my petition didn’t get picked in the lottery. I was completely caught off guard! While I still don’t feel like God’s calling me back to India, I no longer trust what I “feel.” All I know is that He’s shut the door to America. While processing through what happened, I couldn’t help but ask – What’s the point of all of this? What did I even achieve living in America?

Until, the Lord brought His goodness back to memory. Living in this nation taught me –

  1. What it means to be stripped of everything that is familiar to you and yet truly understand that through it all Jesus is enough!
  2. That neither my employer nor my paycheck is my provider. Only God is my provider.
  3. That waiting on the Lord is NEVER in vain.
  4. What it means to sit back and watch the Lord carve out a path for you.
  5. What it means to trust the Lord with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind and with all your strength EVEN when things don’t go your way.
  6. That even when it doesn’t feel like it, God is still faithful.

As I struggle to focus on God’s purpose in my life and in my situation, I know that He’s still sovereign. I have a million questions buzzing through my brain and I simply don’t understand. But with Jesus by my side, I don’t have to understand. Disappointed as I am, for now, knowing that God knows exactly what He’s doing, is enough for me. I will trust His wisdom.

God is good.
God is faithful.
God is sovereign.
God is bigger than the lottery.
God is bigger than my H1B.

God is bigger than my disappointment.

When You don’t move the mountains, I’m needing You to move;
When You don’t part the waters I wish I could walk through;
When You don’t give the answers as I cry out to You – I will trust in You!

In closing I have to say – I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord!

#disappointedbutnotdiscouraged

India my love, here I come!

The Blessing of Uncertainty

On By Rachel ChadalavadaIn Future, Life, Uncertainty3 Comments

This past week has been a lot of fun and a much needed break from my not-so-busy routine. If you know anything about me, you will know that I LOVE being busy. I love having stuff to do and I absolutely love being productive. However, since the time my Associate position with Samaritan’s Purse ended, I haven’t felt very productive. Sure my days are still full, sure I’m able to care for an adorable baby in the mornings and sure I’m able to volunteer in the afternoons, but it’s just not the same as having a full day of work. You know what I mean? So this past week has been a breath of fresh air for me, as I’ve been “working,” albeit in the capacity of a volunteer, from 8am till at least 10pm. It was tiring, exhausting and downright amazing!!! I had the privilege of being part of Operation Christmas Child’s Connect Conference and Full Circle Speaker training.

I’ve learned a lot over this past week. But one the biggest lessons I learned was the lesson of gratitude. My friend Izabella was sharing with us on one of the mornings about the importance of being thankful. As I was pondering on this, I began thinking about what I was truly grateful for. My answer took me by surprise! Without so much as a shadow of doubt, I realized that I was very grateful my “uncertainties.” Weird right?!!!

When I left India for America, I just thought I was moving countries. I never realized that I was exchanging a life of comfort and certainty, for a life that constantly and consistently made me step out of my comfort zone, and be soaked in the speculative, in the unknown! No matter which direction I turned in, I was faced with uncertainty and I hated it! I hated not knowing!

When I arrived in Lynchburg in 2013, my housing situation was not what I expected and I had no clue where I would live! When summer 2014 came I had no clue where I would be working! I desperately needed a job because not working was NOT an option. After summer, my housing situation changed again and I had no clue where I was going to live. Just before I graduated in 2015, I packed up all that I owned, and waited for the Lord to show me where He was leading me. I was so sure that I would have a job by the time I graduated. But did that happen? Nope! On June 1, I found myself without a job, without an income and without an apartment. So, I put everything I owned in a rental car and left Lynchburg. Where was I headed you ask? No idea!!! When I moved to Boone in September, I knew that my position would end in January 2016. I also knew that the Lord wasn’t leading me back to India. How would He keep me in America? I have no clue whatsoever!

Over these past two and a half years, God’s faithfulness has been more than evident in EVERY situation! When I moved to Lynchburg without having a place to stay, He opened the doors of a stranger’s home where I stayed for a week till I found roommates and moved into an apartment! In summer when not working was NOT an option, He opened the doors to an amazing internship in a phenomenal children’s ministry. I got to live with the most loving, kind and generous family that I’ve ever met. They’re close to my heart and I know that I’ll always have a home with them! Right after my summer internship, God opened the door for me to live in a home that I could make my own! He allowed me to create new, lifelong friendships. I spent quality time with my roommates! We laughed, we cried, we watched Hawaii Five-O together! Life was good! When it was time for me to leave Lynchburg after I graduated, He opened my cousin’s home in Miami where I had the chance to teach at a Community College. In a span of four months, I had the opportunity to live in four different states (Thank God for family who opened their homes to me without hesitation!!!). Even without a job and with no income, I never had to worry about having a roof over my head or about food on my plate. I never had to stretch out my hand in front of another, and I never had to deny myself anything that my heart desired. All of my needs have been met, and all of my wants have been fulfilled. Today, as I continue to “volunteer” with Operation Christmas Child, I still have a tank full of gas. My freezer is stuffed with food (I’m still wondering where all that food came from). I still bought that dress that I really, really, liked. I still traveled around to spend time with friends. I still have a savings account that has not been touched. Like I said, God’s faithfulness has been undeniable!!!

Today, as I continue to stand on the threshold of the great unknown, I still don’t know where I’m headed. I don’t know for sure that my position with Operation Christmas Child will work out. I don’t know for sure that my name will get picked out in the lottery and that I will get my H1B visa. I can honestly say that I have no idea what tomorrow holds. But you know what? That’s okay. Because, I know Who holds tomorrow, and I know Who holds my hand!!!

Amidst these plethora of  uncertainties, I’ve felt God’s sovereignty over my life in ways I have never experienced before. I’ve begun to see Him as a good, good Father! His goodness is not subject to my circumstances! I can honestly say that He and He alone is my strength, my courage, my joy and my provider! I am closer to the Lord today, than I’ve ever been in all my 29yrs of life! So go on, ask me what I’m grateful for. My resounding answer will always be, without a shadow of doubt – My uncertainties are my greatest blessings and for these, I am grateful!

In closing I have to say – I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord!

I Know Who Goes Before Me

On By Rachel ChadalavadaIn Chaos, Future, UncertaintyLeave a comment

Today I did something that I never thought I’d do in my life – I drove through a snowstorm! As most of you have either heard, or are currently experiencing, the east coast is going through what some have titled the Snowmageddon or the Snowpocalypse.

Just like the many of us, I was subjected to a forced upper body workout this morning, by scrapping the snow and ice off my car. I turned the defroster and heat on and got my car all warmed up in time to head to work. I knew the weather was bad because it had snowed all night but surprisingly, the drive TO work was pretty easy. Sure I took longer than I usually do – it only makes sense to drive slowly in conditions like these – but I got there without any problems. I didn’t skid, waver, or anything like that. I got to work in one piece. And yes, I am super proud of myself!

As the day progressed, the storm kept getting worse. Around 3pm, Teresa my neighbor and co-worker called me and asked if I’d like to follow her home or just drive with her because of the intense weather. You see, we were expecting freezing rain. I thought about it and I told her I had to run a few errands before I got home. Wise woman that she is, she said she too needed to run some errands so she would drive ahead of me and I would follow. You know, just in case I got stuck on the road, she’d be close enough to help me (very thoughtful of her right? I agree!). Anyway, we got to the grocery store and started our drive back home.

I’m not exaggerating when I say this – it was an AWFUL drive! I had my defroster on and yet as I drove, the rain kept freezing my windshield. I used my wipers and for the most part it cleared the water out of my line of vision and I could drive. Until, the snow on my wipers froze and now even though they were moving, they didn’t clear out the rain from in front of my eyes. I drove as cautiously as I could but I just couldn’t see anything!!! My rear-windshield was completely frozen. There was a patch of ice on my windshield, exactly in my line of vision and I had to constantly adjust myself looking over that patch and under, at the road ahead, which now seemed so obscure. The rain was coming faster than I could clear it off. At this point, I’ll be honest with you, I got scared. Just a tad but scared all the same. All I could tell myself in that moment was – “Teresa is ahead of me. Teresa is going before me.” As I said that to myself, I turned off all distraction – radio, phone, air vents, and just kept my eyes on Teresa’s taillights. At this point they seemed blurry but I could still see them. So, I fixed my eyes firmly on her and I drove. I didn’t look at the car next to me. I didn’t care that I could not make out where my lane began and ended. I didn’t worry about the speed limit. I didn’t pay attention to the snow and ice pellets pummeling my car. All I cared about was Teresa. If she turned left, I turned left. If she put her right blinker on, I put my right blinker on. It didn’t matter what route Teresa was taking. I blindly followed Teresa and she brought me safely home.

This whole experience simply affirmed my convictions on where our focus should be in the midst of our storms and let’s be real – everybody has them! If you haven’t read my previous post titled “When the storms don’t cease,” you should take a moment to read it.

Finding myself in the center of uncertainty, I constantly keep asking where I’m headed. I want to know what the next steps are. Sometimes I want to be independent and do things on my own. After today’s experience, I have to ask myself – What if I just paid attention to the One Who goes before me? The Bible doesn’t mince words about God’s leading. It reminds us in Deuteronomy 31:8, “The LORD is the one who goes ahead of you; He will be with you He will not fail you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.” In Isaiah 45:2, “I will go before you and make the rough places smooth; I will shatter the doors of bronze and cut through their iron bars.” In Deuteronomy 1:10, ‘The LORD your God who goes before you will Himself fight on your behalf, just as He did for you in Egypt before your eyes.”

I’m not sure what storm you find yourself in. May I be so bold as to suggest that it doesn’t matter so much as to where you’re headed, but who you are following that needs attention? In other words, the more important question is – Who goes before you? If the answer is Jesus, then His word already says that He will clear out the rough places for you (Isaiah 45:2). After all, He is not man that He should lie (Numbers 23:19). As long as your eyes on the Savior, it doesn’t matter if you are in the middle of a storm. He will take you home safely.

I know who goes before me. I know who stands behind. Do you?

In closing I must say – I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord!

 

 

When The Storms Don’t Cease

On By Rachel ChadalavadaIn Chaos, Future, Uncertainty1 Comment

Mentally close your eyes for a moment and imagine with me. You’ve had a long, hard day. It was a day that you don’t want to relive again. You just found out that your best friend lost his cousin to a gruesome murder – his head was chopped off! You want to comfort your friend but he doesn’t want you to. He just wants to work. You try to be a good buddy and go with him. You find out that the people who came to meet him are very demanding. They don’t care about your friend. They don’t want to leave him alone even for a few minutes. You feel like your faith went to trial. When the day finally ends, all you want to do is just get in to your boat and go home! Instead, you and your friends get caught in a violent storm. There isn’t a thing you can do to steady your boat. The winds and the waves seem to be rocking your already distraught world. The boat seems to be tipping over. The water is pouring in and you feel helpless. Broken. Tired. You just want all of this to end – NOW!

Suddenly you see a light. Surely it’s the coast guard coming to your rescue. Finally! As the light comes closer, you notice something. That’s not a coast guard. That’s a ghost! What the heck!!! Oh wait, that’s a person and he’s walking on water! How can this be? Still reeling from the shock, you see that the person walking on the water is actually your best friend who you left behind on the island. What is he doing here? How is he walking on water? What’s going? You just need to catch a breath and go to your friend, even if it means to walk on water. So, amidst the crazy storm, you call out to Him – “Jesus! If it’s really You, ask me to come to You.” Jesus agrees. You try to catch your balance and stand up. Your other friends think you are crazy but you don’t care. Jesus is here and all will be well! You step out of the boat despite your friends tugging at your shirt begging you not to be stupid but you somehow get out of their grip and take that step in faith. OMG! You’re walking on water! Your eyes are tightly fixed on Jesus and you’re walking toward Him. Small, easy strides. This is amazing! For a moment you forget about everything – the winds, the waves, the screaming friends, the rocking boat, everything! All you see is Jesus!

Until…

You take your eyes off of Jesus for a minute and your whole world comes crashing down! You notice the winds and the waves. You’re afraid the waters won’t hold you and that’s exactly what happens. You begin to sink. You don’t know what’s going on. Was it a mistake to step out of the boat? “Jesus!!!!!”

Storms. They’re not uncommon. They’re very much a part of your life as they are of mine. The scenario I asked you to envision is all too familiar to me. My greatest storm has been my lack of certainty. In less than a week, I will no longer be employed. While I have decided to stay on with Operation Christmas Child as a volunteer, I have doubts and fears of how I will sustain myself. That said, I have this sense of undeniable peace in the decision that I’ve made. I know that the Lord is not leading me back to India any time soon and I know that without a shadow of doubt. But I fear the uncertainty that comes with that understanding. For the most part, I’m at peace. I’m walking on the water, my eyes firmly fixed on my Lord, knowing full well that He is in control. Until… for but a split second I take my eyes off of Him and suddenly I am all too aware of the storm around me. My fears, failures, shortcomings, all gush at me with a force aimed specifically to make sure I drown. Struggling to keep my head above the water, I call out – Jesus!!!!!

When He finally gets me out, I ask myself, “What went wrong?” Jesus and I had this awesome thing going on. I was walking on water and my storm was nonexistent. Was it really though? I think that’s where most of us make a mistake. We assume that just because we are walking on the water our storms are silenced. May I propose that as long as our eyes are fixed on Jesus, He gives us the strength and the courage that we need to tread boldly on the stormy seas, toward Him? See, when our eyes are on Jesus, our storms won’t matter – Not because they don’t have power but because Jesus is more powerful; not because they don’t rock our world, but because Jesus is our anchor; not because they don’t scare the daylights out of us, but because Jesus is our comfort and strength! There’s an old song that I grew up singing, which I think is, apt for this post. It goes like this – “Turn your eyes upon Jesus. Look full in His wonderful face. And the things of the earth will go STRANGELY DIM in the light of His glory and grace!”

When the storms of your life don’t cease, remember – as long as you keep your eyes on the Lord, He will teach you to walk amidst that storm with your head held high, until it’s time for Him to look at the winds and the waves and say to them – “peace be still.” And they WILL obey!

In closely I must say – I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord!

 

“Hon, I Picked Up The Laundry”

On By Rachel ChadalavadaIn Chaos, Future, UncertaintyLeave a comment

I have a problem with TV shows. I get hooked on to one and that’s it! I’ll watch that series till it’s done… Binge watching if you must! My current show is White Collar and I watch it on my friend’s Netflix account (thanks Alex Bothmann!). The show is about agent Peter Burke and his investigations as the head of the White Collar division of the FBI. Peter is married to Elizabeth.

This particular episode began with Peter putting on his jacket and noticing that his wife had already picked up the laundry. They have a brief argument about it because Peter was supposed to have picked it up, but he forgot. So, Elizabeth picked up the laundry. I found this scene a bit odd because Peter and Elizabeth are the kind of couple that never fights. I mean, they NEVER fight. So the idea that the scriptwriter would include an argument between this happy couple over ‘laundry’ was a little weird.

Anyway…

Fast forward to the middle of the episode when Peter’s investigation turns south, and he ends up being taken hostage. He’s placed in a prison cell with his hands cuffed. There’s no way for him to get out but he must. He looks at his surroundings but doesn’t find anything that will help him get his cuffs off. Until, he tugs at the corner of his jacket and he finds … you guessed it – the receipt for the laundry attached to it with a safety pin. He immediately gets the safety pin off of his coat and uses it to un-cuff himself. You can guess what would’ve happened after that.

This scene brought to memory the opening scene of the show when Elizabeth tells Peter, “Hon, I picked up the laundry.” While at the time I didn’t understand the importance of that scene, I realized that the scriptwriter foresaw the need for Peter to have access to a safety pin. The scriptwriter knew exactly what he was doing when he created that scene, because he was the one writing the story.

This right here was my “Aha!” moment! Just a day or two before I watched this episode, my friend and I were talking about how similar the story of our lives were, and that sometimes we look at it and laugh about how ridiculous it seems. So much of what we go through makes zero sense! There are experiences I live through without ever realizing why I had to live through them. Half of the time I haven’t a clue where my life is headed either. However, I consciously remind myself that even though I don’t understand, the Writer of my story knows exactly what He is doing. He foresees what experiences I need because He is writing my story… every single detail of it. He knows what to include and when… He understands how each of my trials and experiences will be used to shape me into the person He is carving me to be. As long as I know Who the Writer of my story is, I have no need to worry about how my story is going to unfold itself.

I know Who the Writer of my story is. Do you know yours?

In closing I must say – I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord!

 

In Control? Seriously?

On By Rachel ChadalavadaIn Chaos, UncertaintyLeave a comment

Chaos! Chaos everywhere! Is there an end to all the innocent blood that is being shed? The Bible did predict this thousands of years ago – “You will hear of wars and rumors of wars … Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be famines and earthquakes in various places (Matt 24:6-7)” – but it still is disheartening, discouraging and scary!

As I read the news about the recent bombings and bloodshed, I couldn’t help but wonder – Is God even watching all of this? Does He even care?

As a by-stander, a third person, I can safely say that the Lord is sovereign, He knows all things, etc., etc., the typical Christian outlook on things. But then I wonder, what about the people in the heart of this situation? What about the people who are injured and struggling between life and death in the hospital – would they think God is control? What about those whose bodies have been shred to pieces – would their families think God is in control? What about the wife who didn’t have a chance to say goodbye to her husband – would she think God is in control? What about the little boy who will never see his mom again – would he think God is in control? What about the father who is mourning the loss of his child – would he think God is in control? What about those who witnessed the blast, witnessed the loss of innocent blood, witnessed people being burnt, body parts flinging across the skies – would they think God is in control? What about the man who lost his arm, the woman who has to live without legs her entire life? What about the bride-to-be whose entire body is now scarred and face disfigured – would she think God is in control?

And as I sat back in reflection, I looked up and asked, “Lord, don’t You see? Don’t You care? Do You even know how it feels?”

And then, all of a sudden I felt something wet trickle down beside me – blood! Lots of it! I screamed! I got scared! It wasn’t my blood. Someone else was hurt and they were hurt real bad. I ran around looking for them. I stepped on something – it was a piece of flesh. I got even more scared! Was I at the scene of the bomb blast? I panicked. I looked around again. I ran. I bumped in to the tree. When I fell down, I saw another chunk of flesh! Wait! This didn’t seem like the effect of a blast. It seemed more like the flesh that was ripped off of someone’s body. Ewww!!! Who would do something like that?!!! I followed the blood trail as it led me up a hill top. The amount of blood I saw made me ask this question – after all this, does the person who is hurt,  even have a drop of blood remaining in his body?.I looked up at this man, completely bruised, blood all over his body, his face and body disfigured by what seemed like injuries made by a whip. The soldier stabbed the man in his side with a spear, and I had the answer to my question – there was indeed no more blood left in his body. Only serum oozed out. Every single drop of blood was shed. I watched this man, beaten, flogged, injured, disfigured beyond recognition. As darkness spread across the skies, I watched his body slump against the rugged cross. I watched the woman at his feet, weeping the loss of her son. I watched the expression of his friends who watched his horrific death. I watched as his father ran his fingers over his torn body. I watched as the soldiers got him off the cross. I watched as his parents went hysterical over their son’s lifeless body. I watched as his heavenly Father turned His face away. I watched as the innocent lamb was slain. I watched as the perfect sacrifice was made. I watched as the ransom was paid. I listened as I recollected what he’d said – “Father, in to Your hands I commit my spirit. It is finished!”

I shut my eyes at the revelation. Unshed tears now flowing down, as I reflected on the questions I raised just a few minutes ago, to the One Who I thought had distanced Himself from the suffering and injustice in this world.

“Lord, don’t You see? Don’t You care? Do You even know how it feels?”

And Jesus stretched out His nail pierced hands and said, “I know how it feels. I understand”

I knew then – I don’t have to wonder if God is still in control. He is. He sees. He knows. But He isn’t sitting with His arms folded – “The day is coming when the wicked will be judged, and justice will be served – For behold, the day is coming, burning like a furnace; and all the arrogant and every evildoer will be chaff; and the day that is coming will set them ablaze,” says the LORD of hosts (Malachi 4:1)

Until then,

My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus’ blood and righteousness.

I dare not trust the sweetest frame but wholly lean on Jesus’ name!

On Christ the solid rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand!

The Lord is in His holy temple. Let all the earth keep silent before Him!

In closing I have to say, I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord!