Tag: Family

The Cross has the Final Word

On By Rachel ChadalavadaIn Chaos, Life, Worship1 Comment

DDBDHXWUMAEHif7The past few months have been the hardest I’ve ever experienced. I have felt rejected, small, unheard, super low on priority lists and downright blah! I’ve tasted a whole other dimension of hurt, betrayal, lies and brokenness by people I loved the most and looked up to my entire life. In the midst of this confusion about what my reaction should be, the Bible reminded me that I was indeed called to a higher calling. If we are called to love our enemies, how much more are we to love our loved ones? After all, it hurts so bad because they’re people that we have loved so deeply. But see, that’s the thing. They are people. And people, by nature, are broken.

Along with lessons of brokenness, and how even our loved ones are broken and make irreparable mistakes every now and then, I’ve learned new lessons on grace, forgiveness, love, peace, restitution and restoration. I tasted what it feels like to take the fall for someone else, to pay the price that was never mine to pay in the first place, to be confident of the decision – “Better me than him/her” … Needless to say, it wasn’t easy. It just wasn’t easy!

I cannot begin to tell you how many times I wished I could just bury my head in the ground like an ostrich and completely ignore my surroundings – But that’s a luxury I evidently did not have. I knew what the right thing to do was, but under the weight of all that was going on, the “Right thing” just seemed insignificant and pointless. Nonetheless, it was done merely because it was the right thing to do. Plus, if I don’t, who will?

Even though this entire ordeal was excruciating, the key words here being “Was” and “Excruciating,” I learned a whole lot of things about love, life, friends, family and people. But above all, I had a new appreciation for salvation – Perhaps my analogy is a bit far-fetched. Nonetheless, it made sense to me:

  • Jesus took the fall for me, a hit that was never His to take. But He did it anyway.
  • Jesus paid the price for MY sin – that price was never His to pay. But He did it anyway.
  • When Jesus hung on the cross, He looked at me and said, “Better me, than you.”

I have no business crying and telling Jesus that He had no idea what I was going through, because the shoes that He walked in, are a hundred times worse than the ones that I did. Did it hurt? Sure it did. But I wasn’t alone. And you know what? If my ultimate purpose is to be like Him, to grow into His likeness everyday, then why am I surprised that I am called to follow suite? That I am called to forgive more than seventy times seven – not once, not twice, not even 10 times but above and beyond all of that! I mean, God knows I’ve done more than my share of sinning and have said less than my share of “Sorrys”. When He forgave them all, why should I hesitate to do the same?

You know, I’m one of those people who likes to move on in life and quickly. I believe what’s done is done, nothing you can be done to change the past. So, learn from it, and get on with life. Some call it resilience, some maturity, some downright denial, some others foolishness and still more, an abuse of grace. Truth be told, I have come to realize and experience for myself that forgiveness is a choice. A hard choice, but one that frees you from the clutches of bitterness when you don’t even realize that you’re a prisoner. All the advice I got from people wiser than me, left me in a state of cognitive dissonance – What was right, what wasn’t? Could I trust my judgement anymore? Is pronouncing a sentence my call to make? Who determines how sorry the offender is? Should my forgiveness depend on the degree of their remorse? Can anyone really earn forgiveness? If I’m bearing the brunt of someone else’s actions, then am I not justified in being resentful? The answer to every single one of these questions, came in the form of yet another question – What would Jesus do? I wore that bracelet so often in my teenage years. It was now time to live it. What would Jesus do?

If you don’t take back anything else from this post, take this back – It takes more energy to be mad than it takes to forgive. And as stupid as it may seem, as complacent as it appears, or as pointless as it may be deemed, forgiveness is always the right answer!

“Why?” you ask? Because of the finished work of Jesus on the cross –

“Forgive us Lord our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us!”

After all, the cross has the final word!

In closing I must say – I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord!

Does it Hurt? Good!

On By Rachel ChadalavadaIn Life3 Comments

When I was still on my “Goodbye” road trip in America, I found out that my uncle in India was admitted in the hospital for an emergency vascular surgery. For several years now he’s had an issue with his leg. Over the past couple of years he developed an ulcer that needed attention off and on. So I just assumed that this particular visit to the hospital too was one of those times when his vascular condition wasn’t life threatening but simply needed attention. When I spoke to my aunt, she told me the same thing. I’ve always known my aunt to call it as it is and to never mince words so when she said he was okay, I figured he truly was fine.

Once I landed in Hyderabad, I spent a week with my family and headed straight to Vellore to see my uncle. If you know anything about me, you’ll know that family is a priority for me. If I even remotely sense that they might need help, I’ll plonk myself there and do whatever I can to make life a little easy for them. Hence, when I arrived in Vellore, I took my aunt’s place as my uncle’s helper in the hospital, so that my aunt could get some time and room to breathe and relax. On our way to the hospital, my aunt asked me if I wanted to see what the wound on my uncle’s leg looked like. Since I was well equipped to gory visuals thanks to my loyalty to medical drama shows like Grey’s Anatomy, I figured I could handle a little ulcer. When I saw the picture though, I quickly realized that my aunt had underplayed the severity of my uncle’s condition. From what I saw, it seemed like the doctors chopped off my uncle’s entire calf – trust me, I’m not exaggerating! There was a gaping hole in my uncle’s leg and I could see the white calf muscle through it. I simply couldn’t believe it! I pretended to be strong and put on a brave front when I finally hugged my uncle in the hospital.

Soon, the doctors came on their rounds and began re-doing the dressing on his leg. Forgetting that real life was nothing like a medical drama, I watched the doctors unfold the wound that lay buried beneath all of those bandages. As they uncovered that gaping hole, I could see my uncle squirm in pain. “God is good! God is good!” he reminded himself. My heart broke to watch him in such pain. I couldn’t understand how it got this bad. Why did he neglect it? Why did he allow it to fester this long? I simply didn’t understand! One key point to this story is this – My uncle is an orthopedic surgeon. So it boggled my mind even more that he didn’t catch this wound before it became an “emergency!”

After my uncle settled down from the fresh agony that changing the dressing caused, and I finally got my bearings in order, I asked him to tell me why he waited this long. He looked at me and said, “I didn’t know it was this bad. I felt no pain.” Oddly enough, the reason my uncle was now in so much pain, was because he felt no pain before. He felt no pain because the flesh in his calf was dead. Because the infection killed the flesh around his muscle, he felt nothing. The only symptom he had was fever – a sign of infection.

As I reflected on what my uncle said, I realized the importance of pain. The reason his leg hurts so much now is because the wound is fresh and the tissue around it is alive. Does that make sense? Dead tissue doesn’t cause pain – Just infection but no pain. And in that moment I wondered if the purpose for pain in our lives was to remind us that we are alive. If I felt no pain, it would just be a matter of time before my heart and my soul became numb. If it didn’t hurt, I would be calloused. Pain reminds me that I’m alive, that my heart and soul are alive. Pain reminds me that it will get better. Pain reminds me that recovery is a process and when I get to the end of it, it’ll be worth it.

Today when the doctors poke my uncle’s wound and he twitches in pain, I know two things for sure – it hurts because the tissue is alive. It doesn’t hurt as much as yesterday because the process of healing has begun.

So today I want to leave this with you – I’m not sure what it is that you are going through. I don’t know how much it hurts. But this I know. If it hurts, it’s a good thing. It means you’re alive!

In closing I have to say – I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord!

Bah-Humbug!

On By Rachel ChadalavadaIn Chaos, WorshipLeave a comment

If you know anything at all about me, you will know that I am a walking-talking Christmas cheerleader! I wait for Christmas all year long and as soon as November hits, much to the dismay of several people around me, I bring on the Christmas cheer. Christmas music, Christmas attire, planning the Christmas party… I even finish my Christmas shopping before anyone else. I remember when I was growing up, my mother, sister, me and some of our neighbors would spend our evenings making Christmas goodies. We’d spend the next morning distributing those very goodies to our teachers, friends, loved ones and even strangers. I’d go caroling late into the night with my youth group, heralding to the world the birth of our Savior. I’d spend every weekend participating in one Christmas program or another. I’d help my sister pack Christmas gifts for children in orphanages. I’d even leave random notes for my friends at work, bringing on the Christmas cheer.

When we spent Christmas at my uncle and aunt’s place, we’d stay up late nights decorating, munching on Christmas goodies, and chatting up a storm with my cousins. We’d re-live Christmases of the past, memories of childhood spent together, our hopes and dreams for the future… Christmas was so much more to me than just December 25th.

Until now.

This season marks 2yrs since I’ve been home for Christmas. I haven’t seen my sister since January 2014. I haven’t hugged my niece and my nephews and I haven’t hung out with my friends. I almost cringe at the thought of going to church because I get to sit by myself, while everyone else is sitting with his or her family or friends. During the regular part of the year, it doesn’t bother me because I know without a shadow of doubt that I am exactly where the Lord wants me. But during Christmas, when everyone talks about visiting his or her parents and siblings, it’s harder to see that. And definitely hearing Pere Como sing to me, “Oh there’s no place like home for the holidays,” surely does not make things easier. That said I am grateful for extended family and friends that the Lord has allowed me to spend this Christmas with. But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss being home with my mother, father, sister, brother-in-law, niece and nephews. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t care that my whole family will be together – uncle, aunt, cousins – while I’m in a land that’s easily about 8,508 miles from them. I’d be lying if I said that I was looking forward to Christmas.

I woke up this morning dreading the idea of going to church because I’d be reminded of what I don’t have here. I’m not the kind of person who generally complains. If something doesn’t work, I shrug it off and move on with life. Usually, I remind myself of all that the Lord has blessed me with – friends I can now call family, a town that feels like home and a job that I am passionate about. Finally frustrated by my attitude toward this season, I watched Christmas movie after Christmas movie to see if I could bring on the cheer, like it was a switch that I could simply turn on. Needless to say that didn’t really work.

Until, I reflected on the true meaning of Christmas. You see, Christmas is not about decorating your home, baking goodies, or buying gifts for loved ones. It’s not about family traditions, childhood memories, or even – forgive me as I say this – about friends and family. No! Christmas is about Christ, and Christ alone. It is a time when we are reminded of the immeasurable love that God has for you and me, that He would send His one and only son in to this broken world, not just to fix it, but to restore it to Himself. It is a reminder that He saw us when even we didn’t see ourselves. It’s the assurance that because Jesus came in to this world to give His life up for broken people like you and me, and then rose up from the dead, defeating death once and for all, no matter how hopeless the world around us can seem, we will always have hope in Him.

Christmas is truly about just one thing – Christmas is about Jesus Christ, and for that reason alone, I will celebrate!

Merry Christmas!

In closing I have to say – I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord!