Tag: Jesus

Surely, The Lord Is In This Place

On By Rachel ChadalavadaIn Chaos, Future, Life, Uncertainty, WorshipLeave a comment

Every so often, I start fresh in Genesis—journeying through the Bible from the very beginning. Each time I start over, something new speaks to me.

Recently, one verse has stayed with me:

Then Jacob awoke from his sleep and said, ‘Surely the Lord is in this place, and I did not know it.’ — Genesis 28:16

Let’s look at how Jacob came to that moment.

His mother Rebekah had convinced him to deceive his father Isaac by pretending to be his brother Esau to receive the blessing of the firstborn. This enraged Esau—Enough for him to want to kill Jacob. Fearing for Jacob’s life, Rebekah urged him to flee.

So Jacob ran—literally fleeing for his life—and ended up in the place he would later name Bethel. There, exhausted, afraid, perhaps traumatized and wrecked with guilt, Jacob lay his head on a rock. He was alone, uncertain of his future, completely out of control.

And yet—it was in that very place that God revealed Himself to Jacob in a dream. It was there that Jacob received a promise:

I am the Lord, the God of your father Abraham and the God of Isaac. The land on which you lie I will give to you and to your descendants. Your descendants will also be like the dust of the earth… and in you and in your descendants shall all the families of the earth be blessed… I am with you and will keep you wherever you go… I will not leave you until I have done what I promised you. — Genesis 28:13–15

When Jacob wakes up, he realizes something profound: God had been with him all along—he just hadn’t known it — Hadn’t perceived it.

Fast forward to the story of Joseph, Jacob’s son, recorded in Genesis 37–50.
Joseph—his father’s beloved—was sold into slavery by his own brothers. Imagine how he must have felt: scared, betrayed, abandoned, wronged. The Bible doesn’t describe his emotions, but they’re not hard to imagine.

Yet the Bible tells us this: God was with Joseph.

This young man found favor in the eyes of the Egyptian commander and was put in charge of his household. Over the next several chapters, Joseph is wronged again and again—falsely accused, imprisoned, forgotten. And yet, the Bible repeats: God was with Joseph.

My life the past few years has been focused on humanitarian assistance, providing spiritual and physical aid to hurting people around the world in Jesus’ name. The people I serve have been victims of war, poverty, natural disasters, disease, and famine. They are in their current state through no fault of their own. These people have lost their homes, land, livelihoods—even loved ones. Their future is uncertain.

Their homes are gone, but their mortgages remain.
Their cars are gone, but the payments persist.
Their loved ones are gone, but they must endure.

They didn’t ask to be in this place. But here they are.

Some haven’t even begun to process the past, let alone imagine a future.
And yet, in this place, shaped by a storm of some sorts that uprooted lives, God was there—and they weren’t even aware of it. God is there in the teams that show up to provide food, clean water, nutrition commodities, medical assistance, and even shelter; to share the love of Jesus.

So, what about you? What brought you to the place you find yourself in today? Do you see God in it? Are you aware of His presence?

Will you, like Jacob, say, “Surely the Lord is in this place, and I didn’t know it”?

Will you, like Joseph, trust that God is still with you?

Have you, like the people I get to serve, seen the Lord meet you at your point of need?

Will you let Him?

Regardless of how you got here—or how I got here—this is true:

God is in this place. And perhaps, that isn’t just enough—it’s everything.

I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord!

Single, Not Alone: Trusting God in the Waiting

On By Rachel ChadalavadaIn Future, Life, RelationshipsLeave a comment

Service this past Sunday was interesting. It was on singleness – Definitely not what I was expecting on Mother’s Day. However, it did get me thinking about my own journey of singleness.

I’ll admit it: talking about singleness makes me uncomfortable. Hearing someone else talk about it makes me cringe. But it shouldn’t. I’m not ashamed of it. So why do I treat it like a touchy subject?

A long time ago, I made a decision—to speak openly about the things I wished more people talked about. I know there are many like me who are content in this season of life, yet still struggle from time to time. If that’s you, I want you to know: you are not alone. I see you. I feel you. I’m in the same boat. I often wonder if walking through this season of life would be easier if more people would talk about it. I think it would. Knowing you’re not alone always makes a difference.

I am 38yrs old.

When you’re my age, people stop asking the question most singles dread: “When are you getting married?” You’ve either been written off by others—or you’ve written yourself off. Maybe you’re surrounded by the narrative that you’re just not doing enough to be in the “right place” to meet someone.

There was a season when loved ones would say things like, “How are you ever going to meet someone if you’re in Africa, in the middle of nowhere? You’re doing yourself a disservice. You need to be where people can see you.” I know they meant well, and they said those things because they cared. But even with the best intentions, those words were still painful to hear.

Is walking in obedience to God’s call over my life, the reason I’m still single?

I have no doubt that God called me to missions. For a season, that meant South Sudan and Ethiopia. Today, it means the United States. If God had wanted, I could’ve met someone in the middle of a swamp. But I remained single—even among 1.3 billion people in India, where I lived until 2013.

Sunday’s sermon made some powerful points—ones that deeply resonated with me:

  • Singleness is a gift. It allows for undivided devotion to the Lord, the freedom to focus, space to grow, and the capacity to serve.
  • Your relationship status isn’t your identity.
  • Life doesn’t begin after marriage. You are living a full life now. I know I am.
  • Singleness is not a break from your purpose. If you’re not living out your purpose now, that’s a heart issue—not a relationship status issue.
  • Singleness is a sacred opportunity to spend time with the Lord—because He is enough.

I agreed with all the points, but I struggled a bit with the last one—specifically, “God is enough.”
Then why do I still want more?

I love Jesus. My life revolves around Him. He is my sun, and I am all nine planets. I do not know a life apart from Him, and I don’t want one. But when someone says Jesus should be enough in my singleness, I feel a pang of sadness. Because despite loving Him with my whole heart, I still feel a deep longing for a partner.

The Lord and I have talked about this—often. And I want to share something He showed me that has helped me deeply:

The Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it. The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him” (Genesis 2:15, 17).

In Adam’s most intimate season with God, God saw that it wasn’t good for Adam to be alone. That’s worth noticing. Adam didn’t feel the need for a helper. He didn’t crave for it. He didn’t desire it. He didn’t ask for it. He had no reference point for loneliness. But God saw him. He saw that he was alone. And God decided Adam needed a helper—so He created Eve.

Why bring this up? Because it’s important to recognize that you can be content in the Lord and still desire a partner. The two can co-exist; By design they can co-exist. Learning this, recognizing this, and embracing this has been nothing short of freeing.

A few more thoughts I wish we talked about more often:

  • Embrace your singleness. Really enjoy it. Take care of yourself. Go on those trips you’ve saved in your reels. Don’t wait to live your life. I grew up hearing, “Do whatever you want after you’re married, with your husband.” I’m so glad I didn’t listen. I’ve traveled solo and with friends—and I have zero regrets.
  • Be the best aunt you can be. Your siblings’ and friends’ kids may have other aunties—but they are not you.
  • Celebrate others—but allow yourself to grieve. When younger friends and cousins get married, rejoice with them. But also acknowledge your own longing. That grief is real.
  • You don’t always have to be strong. On the hard days, let yourself feel it. Cry. Grieve. Eat ice cream straight from the carton. Your tears are not a betrayal of your faith. You can trust God and be sad. They are not mutually exclusive. Feel the down in the dumps, but don’t stay there.
  • Cherish your married friends. Don’t discount them just because you’re in different life stages. Be the third wheel if you must. A tuk-tuk has three wheels—and it’s fun!
  • Wrestle with the Lord. Lament. He’s not afraid of your tears or your questions. And if, like me, you don’t know what to ask—just sit in His presence and let the tears fall freely.
  • Trust Jesus with your desires. Even if they are never fulfilled, He is still trustworthy.

Don’t reason your way through your singleness:

  • “Did I do something to deserve this?”
    Oh friend—if we all got what we deserved… yikes.
  • “I must be unlovable or damaged.”
    How dare you! You are deeply loved—by friends, family, and above all, your Creator. Don’t disregard the love you have, because of a love you do not.
  • “Am I not good enough?”
    There is nothing “not enough” about you. You are more than enough.
  • “Maybe my standards are too high?”
    Choosing a life partner is second only to choosing to follow Christ. Don’t you dare apologize for having standards.
  • “Being single means I can’t have a family.”
    Ask your parents, siblings, and friends if they consider you family. You already belong.
  • “Life will be better when I’m married.”
    If you’re not fulfilled now, you won’t be fulfilled in marriage.
  • “God is holding out on me.”
    “He who did not spare His own Son, but gave Him up for us all—how will He not also, along with Him, graciously give us all things?” (Romans 8:32)
  • “Single = Alone.”
    Are you isolating yourself? If not, you’re not alone.
  • “I need to look a certain way to be desirable.”
    That’s a lie I believed for too long. Surely if I lose just a few more lbs/kgs someone will notice me. What happens when you gain weight? Or age? Beauty fades, bodies change. You are fearfully and wonderfully made—Don’t ever forget that.
  • “It’s too late for me.”
    That’s what Abraham, Sarah, Zechariah, Elizabeth thought. But God…!!!

I have often prayed, as I am sure you have too: “Lord, if marriage is not Your plan for me, just tell me. Then I will know for sure, and I can move on with my life.”

I have come to realize that the pursuit of certainty is redundant when the calling is to live by faith and not by sight. What I see and understand is so very minute and miniscule in significance to all that I don’t see or understand. So, I have decided that I will embrace whatever the Lord has allowed for me to have right now, to be faithful to what He has placed in my hands. If the Lord is truly the Keeper of my heart, then it is His job to care for it, shield it, protect it, and entrust it to another.

There is a lot I do not know, but this I do know:

“As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord” (Joshua 24:15)
Even if it is a house of one.

“Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain” (Psalm 127:1a)
Let the Lord build. You chill. Travel. Spoil your nieces and nephews.

I lift my eyes up; my help comes from the Lord.

This is the Way. Walk in it.

On By Rachel ChadalavadaIn Future, Life, WorshipLeave a comment

I was recently deboarding a plane, and there was a mama behind me, calling out directions, “Go! Go!” I looked around to see who she was talking to. And sure enough, about 2ft off the floor, was this little munchkin toddling about behind me. She was listening to the instruction her mama was giving her, and followed through as best as she could. The mama was struggling with her bags and didn’t have enough hands to hold the toddler. I decided to help, and offered my guiding hand to this little explorer. She clutched my hand, and we made our way out of the plane, and down the stairs to the buses. Mama and baby were to go to Nigeria, while I was on my way to South Sudan. “Come on, let’s go. This way!” mama called out to the little girl when it was time for us to part ways. They were headed to Abuja. I was not. Whether the little girl kicked and screamed, or smiled and laughed, THAT was the direction she had to go in – the one her mama was leading her in.

Over the past few months I been thinking a lot about direction, God’s leading, choices, and the impact of our choices on the prevailing of God’s will. My prayer has been this – Lord, if I have a choice in the direction my life is headed, where does, “the steps of a righteous man are ordered by God,” come into play? Are You directing my steps, or am I choosing them?

The year 2023 is going to be a year of change, of new beginnings. It’s going to be a fresh start, in a new location, serving a new people. It is as scary, as it is exciting. The choice I make, will determine whether I stay in South Sudan, or move to another country. What if it’s a location I don’t want to go to? How will I know that that choice is the right one?

I was texting a friend about the direction I think the Lord is leading me in. No sooner than I pressed ‘send,’ I received a call, and on the other side was my loving friend, asking me with genuine concern, “Rachel, what are you doing? Have you thought this through? You know you have a choice. God can use you just as well in a different direction.”  Choice. I do have a choice.

From the time I asked myself that life defining question, “What is it that I’m doing that has any eternal gain?” my choices have been a series of denying myself and following Christ. Quitting a well-paying and stable job to pursue higher education at a time when I should’ve been home, starting a family and laying down roots; staying in the U.S. even when it didn’t seem like another job was on the horizon, trusting that He will provide; returning to India and feeling like I didn’t have the opportunity to lay down roots even though I desperately wanted to; coming to a conflict-ridden place like South Sudan; staying in this warzone for over three years; and now, heading to another disaster-stricken location.

The choices I have made have definitely not been in my best interest – at least in the way you and I understand it. But for the kingdom of heaven, they have been pivotal. God doesn’t need me to accomplish His purposes. I know this. And yet He calls out, “Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?” My unequivocal response, a thousand times, is this – “Here I am Lord, send me” (Isaiah 6:8).  

Yes, I have a choice. Therefore, I choose to say yes to any, and every opportunity He gives me to walk in obedience to Him, and in service to His people, wherever they may be – India, America, South Sudan, Timbuktu.

And when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left, your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, ‘This is the way; walk in it’ ~ Isaiah 30:21

In closing I have to say – I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord

What Good Is It?

On By Rachel ChadalavadaIn Uncategorized1 Comment

I grew up in a country that puts a lot of pressure and importance on academia. By the time you reach 10th grade, you should already know what your career path would be – Often times it is medicine or engineering. The “Arts” were considered an area for the not-so-bright science rejects. So imagine my family’s disappointment when I decided I did not want to pursue any of the “bright” subjects, especially because I was a very bright child. “At the very least, do computers or finance,” my dad pleaded. If you knew me, you’d know how terrible I would’ve been in any of those careers. I mean, can you see me crunching numbers? My Math teacher in class 10 said she’d be impressed if I even just barely made a passing grade. Joke’s on her – I scored 92/100. What does this piece of information have to do with this post? Nothing at all. I just wanted to talk about my excellent score 🙂

I love my dad, and he loved me dearly but boy did we not see eye to eye when it came to my academic choices. Everything was a fight. After my excellent Math score in grade 10, he was adamant that I do engineering. I was adamant that I would make a terrible engineer. So to appease him and find a half way point, I chose to do Math, Economics and Commerce in my 11th and 12th. The only thing that came out of that choice was trauma from miserably failing Math, and a shattered self-confidence from bringing upon myself the shame of flunking a career-defining exam.

College and my choice of major was another fight – I’m talking strong and loud arguments and tears till my eyes were swollen. I was finally given the OK to pursue Communications. The OK wasn’t a – I believe in you; you’ve got this – kind of OK. It was a – I’ve given up on you; do what you want – kind of OK. Ouch! Every brown person reading this knows exactly what I’m talking about.

One of my classes in college was international relations. When I started reading about the United Nations (UN), my heart was set on it. That’s where I saw myself heading. I wanted to work with the UN because it was my only point of reference for disaster relief, humanitarian aid, international development – everything that would fulfill my heart’s desire to do something of value. I thought my tenure with the U.S. Consulate General in Hyderabad, was my stepping stone to world relief. But after working there for close to four years, I realized I wanted to do more with my life – I wanted to do something that was of eternal value. After a lot of thinking and prayer and consideration, I decided to quit and pursue another degree.

During the two years I spent pursuing my Master’s, I fell more and more in love with channeling all my energy toward eternal gain. “What good is it for a man to gain the whole world but forfeit his soul?” (Mark 8:36). These remarkable words of Jesus would often come to mind. What good is it? Working with the UN, a diplomatic agency, would mean I could not talk about Jesus or His love. What good would it be? It took a while, but I had to make the difficult, yet conscious decision of laying down and surrendering to the Lord, my dreams of working there. Don’t get me wrong. Everything about the UN is fantastic. But somewhere, at some point, the Lord changed my heart, and my priorities. I just couldn’t process providing relief for the body, without also providing relief for the soul. That’s what Jesus did.

In a few months, I will have completed three years of loving and serving the people of South Sudan. There are several days when I am frustrated and angry and wonder what I am even doing here; but there has not been a single day, a single hour, or a single minute when I have regretted my decision to move to this nation – To be here. To serve here. Even though the circumstances in this country are complex and beyond my understanding, the people are wonderful. They are resilient. They are brave. They have seen unimaginable trauma and loss but they still keep going. Everything about what I do here in Juba and South Sudan points these amazing men and women to Jesus and I love that. I love that when I laid down my dreams of the UN, the Lord showed me how His dreams were a much better choice for me – I still get to do disaster relief. I still get to provide humanitarian aid. I still get to focus on international development. But above all, I get to do it in Jesus’ name.

Some time ago, a fellow humanitarian worker asked me why faith was such a factor for me. Why did it matter why I did what I did? At the end of the day, what matters is that people’s needs are met. It is true. Meeting people’s basic needs are a priority. But the food I provide them with today is only going the help them and keep them until the next food distribution. When I first came to South Sudan, one of our national staff said to me, “Rachel, what is the hope for South Sudan? We have no point of reference.” That statement stuck with me. It’s also what keeps me going. I told this fellow humanitarian worker that in order to remove hunger, I needed to provide food. What could I offer in order to remove hopelessness? “We give them hope,” he responded. “What is your point of reference for hope?” I asked him. He didn’t have an answer. I did.

We often use the term ‘Hope’ to project uncertainty – I hope you feel better; I hope you are doing well; I hope you make it safely; But there isn’t a thing that is uncertain about hope. Hope is distinct. It is absolute. It is certain. “We have this certain hope like a strong, unbreakable anchor holding our souls to Jesus himself. Our anchor of hope is fastened to the mercy seat in the heavenly realm beyond the sacred threshold” ~ Hebrews 6:19. My hope comes from Jesus. He is the hope for South Sudan. Because of Him, I am able to provide relief and hope to a very broken people, in a very broken country, that have no immediate relief from their very broken context – all in the name of Jesus, my anchor of hope.

“What good is it to a man if he would gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul?” ~ Mark 8:36

In closing I have to say – I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord!

The Cross has the Final Word

On By Rachel ChadalavadaIn Chaos, Life, Worship1 Comment

DDBDHXWUMAEHif7The past few months have been the hardest I’ve ever experienced. I have felt rejected, small, unheard, super low on priority lists and downright blah! I’ve tasted a whole other dimension of hurt, betrayal, lies and brokenness by people I loved the most and looked up to my entire life. In the midst of this confusion about what my reaction should be, the Bible reminded me that I was indeed called to a higher calling. If we are called to love our enemies, how much more are we to love our loved ones? After all, it hurts so bad because they’re people that we have loved so deeply. But see, that’s the thing. They are people. And people, by nature, are broken.

Along with lessons of brokenness, and how even our loved ones are broken and make irreparable mistakes every now and then, I’ve learned new lessons on grace, forgiveness, love, peace, restitution and restoration. I tasted what it feels like to take the fall for someone else, to pay the price that was never mine to pay in the first place, to be confident of the decision – “Better me than him/her” … Needless to say, it wasn’t easy. It just wasn’t easy!

I cannot begin to tell you how many times I wished I could just bury my head in the ground like an ostrich and completely ignore my surroundings – But that’s a luxury I evidently did not have. I knew what the right thing to do was, but under the weight of all that was going on, the “Right thing” just seemed insignificant and pointless. Nonetheless, it was done merely because it was the right thing to do. Plus, if I don’t, who will?

Even though this entire ordeal was excruciating, the key words here being “Was” and “Excruciating,” I learned a whole lot of things about love, life, friends, family and people. But above all, I had a new appreciation for salvation – Perhaps my analogy is a bit far-fetched. Nonetheless, it made sense to me:

  • Jesus took the fall for me, a hit that was never His to take. But He did it anyway.
  • Jesus paid the price for MY sin – that price was never His to pay. But He did it anyway.
  • When Jesus hung on the cross, He looked at me and said, “Better me, than you.”

I have no business crying and telling Jesus that He had no idea what I was going through, because the shoes that He walked in, are a hundred times worse than the ones that I did. Did it hurt? Sure it did. But I wasn’t alone. And you know what? If my ultimate purpose is to be like Him, to grow into His likeness everyday, then why am I surprised that I am called to follow suite? That I am called to forgive more than seventy times seven – not once, not twice, not even 10 times but above and beyond all of that! I mean, God knows I’ve done more than my share of sinning and have said less than my share of “Sorrys”. When He forgave them all, why should I hesitate to do the same?

You know, I’m one of those people who likes to move on in life and quickly. I believe what’s done is done, nothing you can be done to change the past. So, learn from it, and get on with life. Some call it resilience, some maturity, some downright denial, some others foolishness and still more, an abuse of grace. Truth be told, I have come to realize and experience for myself that forgiveness is a choice. A hard choice, but one that frees you from the clutches of bitterness when you don’t even realize that you’re a prisoner. All the advice I got from people wiser than me, left me in a state of cognitive dissonance – What was right, what wasn’t? Could I trust my judgement anymore? Is pronouncing a sentence my call to make? Who determines how sorry the offender is? Should my forgiveness depend on the degree of their remorse? Can anyone really earn forgiveness? If I’m bearing the brunt of someone else’s actions, then am I not justified in being resentful? The answer to every single one of these questions, came in the form of yet another question – What would Jesus do? I wore that bracelet so often in my teenage years. It was now time to live it. What would Jesus do?

If you don’t take back anything else from this post, take this back – It takes more energy to be mad than it takes to forgive. And as stupid as it may seem, as complacent as it appears, or as pointless as it may be deemed, forgiveness is always the right answer!

“Why?” you ask? Because of the finished work of Jesus on the cross –

“Forgive us Lord our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us!”

After all, the cross has the final word!

In closing I must say – I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord!

Hasta La Vista 2016!

On By Rachel ChadalavadaIn Future, Life3 Comments

In less than three days we will find ourselves at the threshold of a brand new year – 2017. I still remember when I rang in 2016. Where did the year go? When this year began I was pretty certain it would take its own sweet time to come to an end but boy was I wrong!!! Seems like just yesterday I wished the world a happy new year 2016.

When I look back at this year, I can barely get my bearings right as I think about all the experiences that unfolded over the past 12 months. In some ways my life doesn’t seem to have changed a bit since the beginning of 2016 to now – I was knee deep in uncertainty then and I am knee deep in uncertainty now. Along with that, another thing that hasn’t changed, is my hope in the God Who is in control of that uncertainty and the assurance that my future is uncertain only to me. God knows exactly what He’s doing!

2016 has been a year that has challenged me in more ways than I have the courage to admit. It opened my eyes to a whole new understanding of Who God is and His unwavering, unchanging character, which alone remains my anchor for the new year to come. This year has made me stronger, smarter, more vulnerable, more open to letting people see my not-so-strong side, more passionate, more loving, more giving and here’s my favorite – more sensitive to God and to what’s on His heart for both me and those around me.

From standing on the verge of giving up any idea of staying in the US, to watching the Lord move mountains to prove otherwise, to finally being convinced of where I belong, to heartbreaking disappointments, to feeling like the battle was mine alone, to throwing a tantrum before the Lord and then letting Him set me straight (Yikes!), to being consumed by an overwhelming sense of uncertainty over every aspect of my life, to understanding and for a change, truly trusting with all of my heart, even when I don’t see the evidence of that trust, that God, and He alone is in control of my past, present and future, 2016 year has been quite the roller coaster ride and I am a better woman for it.

I often wonder why trials and challenges come my way – I’m pretty certain I’m not the only one who thinks about this. Truth be told, the lessons you learn in your brokenness are the lessons that end up building your character and making you the person you were meant to be. Times of trials chisel our hearts to be sensitive to God’s love, His voice and His specific will for our lives, if we can only still ourselves long enough to trust His heart.

If there is one lesson I’ve learned this past year that I will surely take with me in to 2017, it is this – That God is unchanging and I can take Him for His word – Not my words. He says so in Micah 3:6, “I the Lord do not change.” Because of His unchanging character, I will, like the Psalmist say, “Your testimonies are my delight; They counsel me” (Ps 119:24).

Because He was my provider (Genesis 22:14) in 2016 and because He does not change, He will be my provider in 2017.

Because He loved me in 2016 and because He does not change, He will love me in 2017. Also, He’s already said that He loves me with an everlasting love (Jeremiah 31:3).

Because His Word has been a lamp to my feet (Psalm 119:108) in 2016 and because He does not change, His Word will guide me in 2017.

Because He moved mountains to fight my battles on my behalf (2 Chronicles 20:15) in 2016 and because He does not change, He will fight my battles in 2017.

Because He knew the plans He had for me in 2016 and because He does not change, He knows the plans He has for me in 2017. Plans to prosper me and not harm me. Plans to give me a hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11).

Because He held my hand and didn’t let go of me (Deuteronomy 31:6) in 2016 and because He does not change, He will hold my hand and won’t let go of me in 2017. And that confidence, that confidence alone is reason enough for me to look forward to a brand new year 2017.

Here’s to another roller coaster ride with God! Happy New Year everyone!

#neveradullmomentwithJesus

In closing I must say – I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord!

 

Goodbye America! #BitterSweet

On By Rachel ChadalavadaIn Future, Life, Uncertainty3 Comments

As I laid my head down to rest last night, I wondered how I would react to waking up to the knowledge that my time in America had finally come to an end. Today, I got to the airport, bid my family goodbye, walked through the security lines and got lost in the crowd. I was mentally prepared to fall apart. But you know what? I didn’t! Surprisingly I was at immense rest. This must be what the Bible calls being led by God’s peace.

As I went through check-in, security check, transit and finally boarded my international flight, I saw many moments of God’s undeniable goodness even in something as insignificant as my journey back home. I’m sure He has better things to worry about but He evidently just poured out undeserving favor on my travel and let me tell you how.

Wrapping up three years of your life into 2.5 suitcases is unfortunately not as easy as you’d think it is. I stressed all of yesterday trying to pack. Out of sheer desperation, I raised my baggage from 50lbs to 70lbs, mentally telling myself it was worth the extra cost. I also had a carry on luggage, a very full backpack and a large purse. I was concerned that I will be penalized for my inability to shrink my life to fit the airlines’ baggage policy! As I walked up to the check-in counter, I nervously weighed my bags and the woman behind the desk put the “heavy weight” tag on. While I waited for her to slap me with a steep fee, she smiled at me and said, “Don’t worry about it.” Bewildered I looked at her while she kept smiling at me saying, “Ma’am, don’t worry about it.” Tell me that wasn’t the Lord?!!! When was the last time an airline waived 20lbs extra baggage??? My point exactly!

My travel itinerary included a domestic leg from Knoxville to Chicago and international leg from Chicago. If you know anything about international flights, you’ll know that they can be very snooty about baggage size, purse size and carry on. I was not following any of their regulations. I got past domestic check-in with ease. How was I supposed to handle international check-in? As I walked to the international terminal, I found out I didn’t have to go through international check-in at all. This meant, my baggage wasn’t going to be a problem. Tell me that wasn’t the Lord?!!! When was the last time you could board an international flight without having your carry on baggage weighed??? My point exactly!

Relieved to get past all security and baggage issues, I sat down by my gate, waiting to board. As I people watched, lo and behold I see a dear dear friend running toward me. He had a layover in Chicago and changed terminals to come see me. Oh how I was filled with joy! Tell me that wasn’t the Lord?!!! When it was time to board my flight, I gave my friend one last tight hug and bid him adieu. Waving my American friend goodbye, I felt like it was a symbolic reference to me waving goodbye to this country that I called home for 3yrs. And instead of being filled with sadness, I was filled with an overwhelming sense of peace. This must be what the Bible calls being led by God’s peace!

As I stand on the threshold of a new beginning, a brand new chapter in my life, I see God’s hand in these tiny aspects of my life. Isn’t it funny that even though I’m going back to the familiarity of the country I was born and raised in for 26yrs, it still feels like I’m entering a whole new world… Wandering into unchartered territory if you will! But I realize, if the Lord took this much care for the small things in my life, such as my baggage, how much more will He care for the bigger things in my life? How much thought and planning Hw must put into what seem like the uncertainties of my life?! Even though I am sad to have left my new friends, family, community and my life in America behind me, I realize it’s time for me to start afresh. It’s time for me to reunite with my family, catch up with old friends and build new community. It’s time for me to once again trust the Lord and know for a fact that He knows exactly what He is doing. Life will go on and in His time, He will make all things beautiful! While I don’t know what the future holds, I know without a shadow of doubt, WHO it is that holds my future! This is what it must feel like to be the daughter of the Prince of Peace! So India my love, I hope you’re ready for me because here I come!

In closing I have to say – I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord!

Enjoy the Free Fall

On By Rachel ChadalavadaIn Future, Life, UncertaintyLeave a comment

In four days I will be leaving Boone for good, and in ten days I will be bidding America adieu. While I know without a shadow of doubt that I am, at this very moment, in the center of God’s will, for the first time in my life, I have no plan. I have NEVER, not had a plan. But this time, as I watched the Lord shut the door to staying in America, I decided I wanted to enjoy every single minute that I spend here before I leave this country that I have grown to love. Because of this, I have consciously chosen not to think or plan about life in India, until I actually leave American soil and land on Indian ground. When I get to India, I know that the Lord will reveal to me what He wants me to do there. After all, He is the one taking me there.

So, as part of my intentional, “Enjoy America while you can” attitude, I decided that I was going to check at least one thing off of my bucket list. On June 6, 2016, I signed several accident and death waivers, strapped myself to a harness and jumped off a plane at a height of 10,000 feet. Yes, I went Skydiving! It was the most phenomenal experience I’ve ever had. I would do it again in a heartbeat and I highly recommend that everyone do it at least once in his or her lifetime! I know I say this now that my feet have safely grounded themselves on land. But, I have to admit, when I drove up to the Skydiving center in DC, I was nervous. I wasn’t going to back out of it of course but I kept wondering what possessed me to give in to this insanity. As I sat through the instructions of what was expected of me when I jump off the plane, I thought to myself, “This instructor is nuts if he thinks I’m going to remember all of that when my heart is lodged tightly in my throat.” Thankfully, he ended the training by reminding us that we will be strapped to an instructor who knows exactly what he is doing.

As my instructor strapped on my harness, he reminded me that he had over 7,000 jumps under his belt and that because he was in charge, I had nothing to worry about. He said that when we get on the plane, he would strap himself on to me and would instruct me every step of the way, at the right time – Not too soon. Not too late. So, placing my trust and literally my entire life in the hands of this complete stranger, I got on to the tiny jet with about nine other people. While we were on the plane, my instructor began working on strapping my harness on to his own. I hadn’t a clue of what he was doing and honestly, even if he explained it to me, I’d probably not understand. All I knew was that he was tugging at the various straps on my harness and constantly giving me instructions – stand up, sit down, move to the front, lean back, bend to the side… I had no idea why he was asking me to do these but I obeyed implicitly. I didn’t question him because I knew that he was my instructor. He knew what he was doing.

Finally, it came time for us to slide to the door of the plane. As he gave me final instructions, he reminded me that he knew exactly what he was doing and that all that was required of me was to simply follow his instructions as and when he gave them. With a quick “1, 2, whoa!” my instructor pushed us out of the 10,000 ft high plane and we began the downward spiral to the ground. As I felt the rush of the free fall, I couldn’t believe what I had done. I could see the Blue Ridge Mountains to my left, the glorious sky around me, the white cotton-ball-like clouds above me and the hard ground below me. As we were falling, my instructor tapped on my shoulder and instructed me to arch my back and raise my hands and legs to enjoy the free fall. And you know what? As I paid heed to his instruction, I did just that – I enjoyed the free fall. I didn’t care that I didn’t know my instructor’s plan. I didn’t care that I could splat on the ground very hard and very fast. I didn’t care that I was at the mercy of the wind swaying me in every possible direction. I didn’t care that my parachute wasn’t open. Heck I didn’t even know where the parachute was. I just knew that my instructor knew when to open the parachute and as long as he knew when to open it, I was fine. After an amazing 60secs free fall, my instructor pulled the parachute open and the pressure of the winds pulled us high up into the sky. While gliding through the sky, I once again felt my instructor tugging at my harness. Let me repeat myself here – My instructor and I were in mid air and he was working on my harness! One wrong move and I could easily get detached from him, fall to the ground and die! But I wasn’t scared. I completely trusted him. I trusted that he knew exactly what he was doing. He loosened the harness to make me more comfortable and eventually allowed me to even maneuver the parachute. Soon, he gave me instructions on landing and before I knew it, my butt gently grazed through the grass and I was back on the ground.

As my skydiving experience came to end, I realized that I did more than check something off my bucket list… I had learned a very practical and powerful lesson on faith and trust. Today I stand on the threshold of a very uncertain future. I can feel my Lord, the great Instructor working behind the scenes and I know without a shadow of doubt that He knows exactly what He is doing. I don’t see it. In fact, I don’t see anything. I don’t hear Him give me any instructions right now. But I know that I as I sit in that plane and head back to India, at just the right time, He will give me tell me what to do. At just the right time, He will reveal His plans. Until then, I choose to take comfort in the fact that I am tightly harnessed to the Lord. He has got my back. He’s holding me. He knows where the parachute is at and He knows when to open it. He knows how to maneuver it. He knows exactly what He is doing. And because of this, as I take this leap of faith into the next chapter of my life, I choose to enjoy the free fall… the rush that comes in fully and completely placing my faith, my hope and my trust in my Instructor, my Best Friend, my Father and my God, who is the Lord Jesus Christ.

If you, like me are headed for the unknown, unable to see what the Lord is doing or where He is leading you, may I encourage you – take the leap. Enjoy the free fall. You won’t regret it. The great Instructor has your back. He knows exactly what He is doing and when the time is right, He will instruct you in what you should do. And who knows, He may even let you maneuver the parachute!

In closing I have to say – I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord!

Neha and I getting ready to board the plane
All harnessed up
Heading to the door of the plane
1, 2, whoa!
Free Fall
Free Fall
The parachute is now open
Can you see me maneuvering the shoot?

If I Told You…

On By Rachel ChadalavadaIn Chaos, Future, Life2 Comments

Since the time people found out about my return to India, I have received a range of reactions. Some have encouraged me to keep my eyes fixed on Jesus and trust Him with this next phase. Others have felt sorry for me and felt even more pain than I myself have felt. Still others have told me how wonderful it was that I was going to be closer to my family and some others bombarded me with questions of how I will survive in my motherland – the country that raised me for 26yrs of my life and made me the woman that I am today. Some (bless their hearts) were downright mortified hearing my news.

This made me ask myself – What are people seeing in my story? What stands out to them? And I wondered – If there was anything that I wanted people to take away from my story, what would it be? What would I want them to focus on? Who would I want to shine through my story?

This song by Big Daddy Weave came to mind –

If I told you my story
You would hear Hope that wouldn’t let go
And if I told you my story
You would hear Love that never gave up
And if I told you my story
You would hear Life, but it wasn’t mine

If I told you my story
You would hear victory over the enemy
And if I told you my story
You would hear freedom that was won for me
And if I told you my story
You would hear Life overcome the grave

If I should speak then let it be
Of the grace that is greater than all my sin
Of when justice was served and where mercy wins

Of the kindness of Jesus that draws me in
Oh to tell you my story is to tell of Him

This is my story, this is my song
Praising my savior all the day long!

As I enter this new adventure that Jesus has very thoughtfully brought me to, I encourage you to not see the struggle, the pain, the confusion, the hurt, the disappointments or even the achievements I’ve had. Instead, my prayer is that you will see, very evidently, the loving Father, the victorious King and the great Comforter. To tell you my story, is to tell of Him!

In closing I have to say – I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord!

Whoa! What Just Happened?

On By Rachel ChadalavadaIn Future, Life4 Comments

Have you ever felt like the ground below your feet was suddenly pulled away? Like someone sucked the air out of your lungs and in an instant your whole life was topsy-turvy? Well that about sums up my past two days.

Yesterday I found out that my name did not get picked in the H1B lottery. This means that my application will not even be considered for a visa and I will need to leave the country soon. While I have no regrets in returning to my country, my motherland that made me the woman that I am, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t disappointed.

When I came to America in 2013 I thought I was going to come, study and leave. I never thought this would be a learning ground for me. The Lord made it clear that He had a plan for me here that went beyond just attending graduate school. He opened my eyes to new experiences that I wouldn’t have known if I didn’t come here. When I moved to Boone and began working with Samaritan’s Purse, I was convinced that God called me here. He went ahead of me and created a position for me. He gave Samaritan’s Purse the courage and strength to fight for me. I didn’t have a single shadow of doubt that I was exactly where I was supposed to be. The way things were falling in to place, I knew that I would get my visa. I mean, why wouldn’t I? If God brought me so far, He’d definitely see it through. Right?

So you can imagine my shock when I found out that my petition didn’t get picked in the lottery. I was completely caught off guard! While I still don’t feel like God’s calling me back to India, I no longer trust what I “feel.” All I know is that He’s shut the door to America. While processing through what happened, I couldn’t help but ask – What’s the point of all of this? What did I even achieve living in America?

Until, the Lord brought His goodness back to memory. Living in this nation taught me –

  1. What it means to be stripped of everything that is familiar to you and yet truly understand that through it all Jesus is enough!
  2. That neither my employer nor my paycheck is my provider. Only God is my provider.
  3. That waiting on the Lord is NEVER in vain.
  4. What it means to sit back and watch the Lord carve out a path for you.
  5. What it means to trust the Lord with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind and with all your strength EVEN when things don’t go your way.
  6. That even when it doesn’t feel like it, God is still faithful.

As I struggle to focus on God’s purpose in my life and in my situation, I know that He’s still sovereign. I have a million questions buzzing through my brain and I simply don’t understand. But with Jesus by my side, I don’t have to understand. Disappointed as I am, for now, knowing that God knows exactly what He’s doing, is enough for me. I will trust His wisdom.

God is good.
God is faithful.
God is sovereign.
God is bigger than the lottery.
God is bigger than my H1B.

God is bigger than my disappointment.

When You don’t move the mountains, I’m needing You to move;
When You don’t part the waters I wish I could walk through;
When You don’t give the answers as I cry out to You – I will trust in You!

In closing I have to say – I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord!

#disappointedbutnotdiscouraged

India my love, here I come!