Tag: Uncertainty

A Still Small Voice

On By Rachel ChadalavadaIn Future, Life, Uncertainty3 Comments

Have you ever felt as though the voices around you seem to contradict the very thing that you thought you knew for sure? Has it ever seemed like you tend to trust what other people say about your situation, more than what God does? I’ve felt that way these past couple of days.

As somebody who left a very comfortable job, a wonderful family, amazing friends, a nurturing church and doting niece and nephews, coming to the understanding that God’s plan for me was in America, and not in India, didn’t come easy. I cried out, “Help! I’m Desperate!” before I finally surrendered to Him.

After my Associate position with Samaritan’s Purse ended in January 2016, I was all set to book my tickets back to India. However, the Lord intervened and convinced me to trust Him and to trust the plans He had for me here in America. Finally casting all my cares on Him, I began serving Operation Christmas Child as a volunteer. The next four months opened my eyes to a deeper, much closer, stronger walk with Jesus. In early January this year God made it abundantly clear to me that I needed to stop looking over my shoulder at India and begin laying down roots here in America. When I wondered if that was God’s voice or my own, He spoke to me from John 10:3-4. I knew without a shadow of doubt that this was all God because I know my Shepherd! I recognize His voice.

Once I acknowledged the plan He made so evident to me, and trusted Him to fulfill it, I watched in amazement as He went ahead of me and created the path for me. For the first time in my life, I watched as the Lord fought every single battle for me, while I simply sat still. He moved mountains to ensure that Samaritan’s Purse submitted an H1B petition for me and that I would serve as a National Spokesperson for Operation Christmas Child!

Over these past few years of waiting and wondering where I’m headed, if there is one thing I have learned, it is that God always lead with His peace (Isaiah 55:12a). Even though I’ve been living in excruciating uncertainty, I’ve seen first hand what it means to be the daughter of the Prince of Peace! The perfect peace (Isaiah 25:3) that He’s poured on me is beyond comprehension!

On April 9, 2016 the United States Citizenship and Immigration Services completed the random computer generated lottery for H1B petitions. This means that I will hear about my visa situation any day now. While this is exciting, it’s also scary. This past Friday I began getting anxious – Not because I was worried, but because I hadn’t heard anything about my visa. Nothing! The more I researched on the H1B lottery, the more I read about people already having received notifications of whether or not they were picked for visa processing. Several schools of thought, including that of friends who’ve been through this process hinted at the chance of my petition not making the lottery. This would mean that I would go back to India. I spent all of Friday breaking my head over why I hadn’t heard anything yet. I spent all weekend listening to various different voices – friends, H1B discussion boards, H1B blogs, “Experts” on the process – telling me that because I hadn’t heard anything about the lottery result, it could mean that I didn’t get picked in the lottery. But in my heart, I know without a shadow of doubt that the Lord’s not calling me to India. So, how can this be?

And then, I heard a still small voice saying – “As you do not know the path of the wind, or how the body is formed in a mother’s womb, so you cannot understand the work of God, the Maker of all things” ~ Ecclesiastes 11:5

Now, I may be quoting that verse out of context but this I know with all my heart – I have a 0.31 chance of being picked in the lottery. If my future were left to “chance” I would be worried. Good thing that even though I do not know what the future holds, I know WHO holds my future and He knows EXACTLY what He is doing.

So, even though I haven’t heard about the status of my visa petition, I am choosing to believe that the God Who went ahead of me and created a path to bring me to America, keep me here for almost 3yrs, get me introduced to Samaritan’s Purse, cross my path with people who would fight for me tooth and nail till I had a full time position, get my H1B petition into the lottery, give me a fully furnished all utilities included house, GIFT me a CAR, is the same God Who will get me through the lottery.

The Lord said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.” Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave. 

~ 1 Kings 19:11-13 

In closing I have to say – I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord!

 

The Blessing of Uncertainty

On By Rachel ChadalavadaIn Future, Life, Uncertainty3 Comments

This past week has been a lot of fun and a much needed break from my not-so-busy routine. If you know anything about me, you will know that I LOVE being busy. I love having stuff to do and I absolutely love being productive. However, since the time my Associate position with Samaritan’s Purse ended, I haven’t felt very productive. Sure my days are still full, sure I’m able to care for an adorable baby in the mornings and sure I’m able to volunteer in the afternoons, but it’s just not the same as having a full day of work. You know what I mean? So this past week has been a breath of fresh air for me, as I’ve been “working,” albeit in the capacity of a volunteer, from 8am till at least 10pm. It was tiring, exhausting and downright amazing!!! I had the privilege of being part of Operation Christmas Child’s Connect Conference and Full Circle Speaker training.

I’ve learned a lot over this past week. But one the biggest lessons I learned was the lesson of gratitude. My friend Izabella was sharing with us on one of the mornings about the importance of being thankful. As I was pondering on this, I began thinking about what I was truly grateful for. My answer took me by surprise! Without so much as a shadow of doubt, I realized that I was very grateful my “uncertainties.” Weird right?!!!

When I left India for America, I just thought I was moving countries. I never realized that I was exchanging a life of comfort and certainty, for a life that constantly and consistently made me step out of my comfort zone, and be soaked in the speculative, in the unknown! No matter which direction I turned in, I was faced with uncertainty and I hated it! I hated not knowing!

When I arrived in Lynchburg in 2013, my housing situation was not what I expected and I had no clue where I would live! When summer 2014 came I had no clue where I would be working! I desperately needed a job because not working was NOT an option. After summer, my housing situation changed again and I had no clue where I was going to live. Just before I graduated in 2015, I packed up all that I owned, and waited for the Lord to show me where He was leading me. I was so sure that I would have a job by the time I graduated. But did that happen? Nope! On June 1, I found myself without a job, without an income and without an apartment. So, I put everything I owned in a rental car and left Lynchburg. Where was I headed you ask? No idea!!! When I moved to Boone in September, I knew that my position would end in January 2016. I also knew that the Lord wasn’t leading me back to India. How would He keep me in America? I have no clue whatsoever!

Over these past two and a half years, God’s faithfulness has been more than evident in EVERY situation! When I moved to Lynchburg without having a place to stay, He opened the doors of a stranger’s home where I stayed for a week till I found roommates and moved into an apartment! In summer when not working was NOT an option, He opened the doors to an amazing internship in a phenomenal children’s ministry. I got to live with the most loving, kind and generous family that I’ve ever met. They’re close to my heart and I know that I’ll always have a home with them! Right after my summer internship, God opened the door for me to live in a home that I could make my own! He allowed me to create new, lifelong friendships. I spent quality time with my roommates! We laughed, we cried, we watched Hawaii Five-O together! Life was good! When it was time for me to leave Lynchburg after I graduated, He opened my cousin’s home in Miami where I had the chance to teach at a Community College. In a span of four months, I had the opportunity to live in four different states (Thank God for family who opened their homes to me without hesitation!!!). Even without a job and with no income, I never had to worry about having a roof over my head or about food on my plate. I never had to stretch out my hand in front of another, and I never had to deny myself anything that my heart desired. All of my needs have been met, and all of my wants have been fulfilled. Today, as I continue to “volunteer” with Operation Christmas Child, I still have a tank full of gas. My freezer is stuffed with food (I’m still wondering where all that food came from). I still bought that dress that I really, really, liked. I still traveled around to spend time with friends. I still have a savings account that has not been touched. Like I said, God’s faithfulness has been undeniable!!!

Today, as I continue to stand on the threshold of the great unknown, I still don’t know where I’m headed. I don’t know for sure that my position with Operation Christmas Child will work out. I don’t know for sure that my name will get picked out in the lottery and that I will get my H1B visa. I can honestly say that I have no idea what tomorrow holds. But you know what? That’s okay. Because, I know Who holds tomorrow, and I know Who holds my hand!!!

Amidst these plethora of  uncertainties, I’ve felt God’s sovereignty over my life in ways I have never experienced before. I’ve begun to see Him as a good, good Father! His goodness is not subject to my circumstances! I can honestly say that He and He alone is my strength, my courage, my joy and my provider! I am closer to the Lord today, than I’ve ever been in all my 29yrs of life! So go on, ask me what I’m grateful for. My resounding answer will always be, without a shadow of doubt – My uncertainties are my greatest blessings and for these, I am grateful!

In closing I have to say – I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord!

I Know Who Goes Before Me

On By Rachel ChadalavadaIn Chaos, Future, UncertaintyLeave a comment

Today I did something that I never thought I’d do in my life – I drove through a snowstorm! As most of you have either heard, or are currently experiencing, the east coast is going through what some have titled the Snowmageddon or the Snowpocalypse.

Just like the many of us, I was subjected to a forced upper body workout this morning, by scrapping the snow and ice off my car. I turned the defroster and heat on and got my car all warmed up in time to head to work. I knew the weather was bad because it had snowed all night but surprisingly, the drive TO work was pretty easy. Sure I took longer than I usually do – it only makes sense to drive slowly in conditions like these – but I got there without any problems. I didn’t skid, waver, or anything like that. I got to work in one piece. And yes, I am super proud of myself!

As the day progressed, the storm kept getting worse. Around 3pm, Teresa my neighbor and co-worker called me and asked if I’d like to follow her home or just drive with her because of the intense weather. You see, we were expecting freezing rain. I thought about it and I told her I had to run a few errands before I got home. Wise woman that she is, she said she too needed to run some errands so she would drive ahead of me and I would follow. You know, just in case I got stuck on the road, she’d be close enough to help me (very thoughtful of her right? I agree!). Anyway, we got to the grocery store and started our drive back home.

I’m not exaggerating when I say this – it was an AWFUL drive! I had my defroster on and yet as I drove, the rain kept freezing my windshield. I used my wipers and for the most part it cleared the water out of my line of vision and I could drive. Until, the snow on my wipers froze and now even though they were moving, they didn’t clear out the rain from in front of my eyes. I drove as cautiously as I could but I just couldn’t see anything!!! My rear-windshield was completely frozen. There was a patch of ice on my windshield, exactly in my line of vision and I had to constantly adjust myself looking over that patch and under, at the road ahead, which now seemed so obscure. The rain was coming faster than I could clear it off. At this point, I’ll be honest with you, I got scared. Just a tad but scared all the same. All I could tell myself in that moment was – “Teresa is ahead of me. Teresa is going before me.” As I said that to myself, I turned off all distraction – radio, phone, air vents, and just kept my eyes on Teresa’s taillights. At this point they seemed blurry but I could still see them. So, I fixed my eyes firmly on her and I drove. I didn’t look at the car next to me. I didn’t care that I could not make out where my lane began and ended. I didn’t worry about the speed limit. I didn’t pay attention to the snow and ice pellets pummeling my car. All I cared about was Teresa. If she turned left, I turned left. If she put her right blinker on, I put my right blinker on. It didn’t matter what route Teresa was taking. I blindly followed Teresa and she brought me safely home.

This whole experience simply affirmed my convictions on where our focus should be in the midst of our storms and let’s be real – everybody has them! If you haven’t read my previous post titled “When the storms don’t cease,” you should take a moment to read it.

Finding myself in the center of uncertainty, I constantly keep asking where I’m headed. I want to know what the next steps are. Sometimes I want to be independent and do things on my own. After today’s experience, I have to ask myself – What if I just paid attention to the One Who goes before me? The Bible doesn’t mince words about God’s leading. It reminds us in Deuteronomy 31:8, “The LORD is the one who goes ahead of you; He will be with you He will not fail you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.” In Isaiah 45:2, “I will go before you and make the rough places smooth; I will shatter the doors of bronze and cut through their iron bars.” In Deuteronomy 1:10, ‘The LORD your God who goes before you will Himself fight on your behalf, just as He did for you in Egypt before your eyes.”

I’m not sure what storm you find yourself in. May I be so bold as to suggest that it doesn’t matter so much as to where you’re headed, but who you are following that needs attention? In other words, the more important question is – Who goes before you? If the answer is Jesus, then His word already says that He will clear out the rough places for you (Isaiah 45:2). After all, He is not man that He should lie (Numbers 23:19). As long as your eyes on the Savior, it doesn’t matter if you are in the middle of a storm. He will take you home safely.

I know who goes before me. I know who stands behind. Do you?

In closing I must say – I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord!

 

 

When The Storms Don’t Cease

On By Rachel ChadalavadaIn Chaos, Future, Uncertainty1 Comment

Mentally close your eyes for a moment and imagine with me. You’ve had a long, hard day. It was a day that you don’t want to relive again. You just found out that your best friend lost his cousin to a gruesome murder – his head was chopped off! You want to comfort your friend but he doesn’t want you to. He just wants to work. You try to be a good buddy and go with him. You find out that the people who came to meet him are very demanding. They don’t care about your friend. They don’t want to leave him alone even for a few minutes. You feel like your faith went to trial. When the day finally ends, all you want to do is just get in to your boat and go home! Instead, you and your friends get caught in a violent storm. There isn’t a thing you can do to steady your boat. The winds and the waves seem to be rocking your already distraught world. The boat seems to be tipping over. The water is pouring in and you feel helpless. Broken. Tired. You just want all of this to end – NOW!

Suddenly you see a light. Surely it’s the coast guard coming to your rescue. Finally! As the light comes closer, you notice something. That’s not a coast guard. That’s a ghost! What the heck!!! Oh wait, that’s a person and he’s walking on water! How can this be? Still reeling from the shock, you see that the person walking on the water is actually your best friend who you left behind on the island. What is he doing here? How is he walking on water? What’s going? You just need to catch a breath and go to your friend, even if it means to walk on water. So, amidst the crazy storm, you call out to Him – “Jesus! If it’s really You, ask me to come to You.” Jesus agrees. You try to catch your balance and stand up. Your other friends think you are crazy but you don’t care. Jesus is here and all will be well! You step out of the boat despite your friends tugging at your shirt begging you not to be stupid but you somehow get out of their grip and take that step in faith. OMG! You’re walking on water! Your eyes are tightly fixed on Jesus and you’re walking toward Him. Small, easy strides. This is amazing! For a moment you forget about everything – the winds, the waves, the screaming friends, the rocking boat, everything! All you see is Jesus!

Until…

You take your eyes off of Jesus for a minute and your whole world comes crashing down! You notice the winds and the waves. You’re afraid the waters won’t hold you and that’s exactly what happens. You begin to sink. You don’t know what’s going on. Was it a mistake to step out of the boat? “Jesus!!!!!”

Storms. They’re not uncommon. They’re very much a part of your life as they are of mine. The scenario I asked you to envision is all too familiar to me. My greatest storm has been my lack of certainty. In less than a week, I will no longer be employed. While I have decided to stay on with Operation Christmas Child as a volunteer, I have doubts and fears of how I will sustain myself. That said, I have this sense of undeniable peace in the decision that I’ve made. I know that the Lord is not leading me back to India any time soon and I know that without a shadow of doubt. But I fear the uncertainty that comes with that understanding. For the most part, I’m at peace. I’m walking on the water, my eyes firmly fixed on my Lord, knowing full well that He is in control. Until… for but a split second I take my eyes off of Him and suddenly I am all too aware of the storm around me. My fears, failures, shortcomings, all gush at me with a force aimed specifically to make sure I drown. Struggling to keep my head above the water, I call out – Jesus!!!!!

When He finally gets me out, I ask myself, “What went wrong?” Jesus and I had this awesome thing going on. I was walking on water and my storm was nonexistent. Was it really though? I think that’s where most of us make a mistake. We assume that just because we are walking on the water our storms are silenced. May I propose that as long as our eyes are fixed on Jesus, He gives us the strength and the courage that we need to tread boldly on the stormy seas, toward Him? See, when our eyes are on Jesus, our storms won’t matter – Not because they don’t have power but because Jesus is more powerful; not because they don’t rock our world, but because Jesus is our anchor; not because they don’t scare the daylights out of us, but because Jesus is our comfort and strength! There’s an old song that I grew up singing, which I think is, apt for this post. It goes like this – “Turn your eyes upon Jesus. Look full in His wonderful face. And the things of the earth will go STRANGELY DIM in the light of His glory and grace!”

When the storms of your life don’t cease, remember – as long as you keep your eyes on the Lord, He will teach you to walk amidst that storm with your head held high, until it’s time for Him to look at the winds and the waves and say to them – “peace be still.” And they WILL obey!

In closely I must say – I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord!

 

“Hon, I Picked Up The Laundry”

On By Rachel ChadalavadaIn Chaos, Future, UncertaintyLeave a comment

I have a problem with TV shows. I get hooked on to one and that’s it! I’ll watch that series till it’s done… Binge watching if you must! My current show is White Collar and I watch it on my friend’s Netflix account (thanks Alex Bothmann!). The show is about agent Peter Burke and his investigations as the head of the White Collar division of the FBI. Peter is married to Elizabeth.

This particular episode began with Peter putting on his jacket and noticing that his wife had already picked up the laundry. They have a brief argument about it because Peter was supposed to have picked it up, but he forgot. So, Elizabeth picked up the laundry. I found this scene a bit odd because Peter and Elizabeth are the kind of couple that never fights. I mean, they NEVER fight. So the idea that the scriptwriter would include an argument between this happy couple over ‘laundry’ was a little weird.

Anyway…

Fast forward to the middle of the episode when Peter’s investigation turns south, and he ends up being taken hostage. He’s placed in a prison cell with his hands cuffed. There’s no way for him to get out but he must. He looks at his surroundings but doesn’t find anything that will help him get his cuffs off. Until, he tugs at the corner of his jacket and he finds … you guessed it – the receipt for the laundry attached to it with a safety pin. He immediately gets the safety pin off of his coat and uses it to un-cuff himself. You can guess what would’ve happened after that.

This scene brought to memory the opening scene of the show when Elizabeth tells Peter, “Hon, I picked up the laundry.” While at the time I didn’t understand the importance of that scene, I realized that the scriptwriter foresaw the need for Peter to have access to a safety pin. The scriptwriter knew exactly what he was doing when he created that scene, because he was the one writing the story.

This right here was my “Aha!” moment! Just a day or two before I watched this episode, my friend and I were talking about how similar the story of our lives were, and that sometimes we look at it and laugh about how ridiculous it seems. So much of what we go through makes zero sense! There are experiences I live through without ever realizing why I had to live through them. Half of the time I haven’t a clue where my life is headed either. However, I consciously remind myself that even though I don’t understand, the Writer of my story knows exactly what He is doing. He foresees what experiences I need because He is writing my story… every single detail of it. He knows what to include and when… He understands how each of my trials and experiences will be used to shape me into the person He is carving me to be. As long as I know Who the Writer of my story is, I have no need to worry about how my story is going to unfold itself.

I know Who the Writer of my story is. Do you know yours?

In closing I must say – I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord!

 

Welcome 2016!

On By Rachel ChadalavadaIn Future, UncertaintyLeave a comment

As I stand at the threshold of a brand new year, I am humbled as I reflect upon the year gone by. For me, 2015 has been more than trying – I’ve faced challenges I’d have never thought I’d meet but as I look back at the year, I’m grateful for the strength each of those challenges instilled in me. And forced me to lift up my head and keep my eyes on Christ Who to me, matters most.

I’m grateful for every single blessing I’ve received – Blessings so innumerable that even if I do try, I fail to name them all, but as I attempt to, leave me mesmerized and amazed at what the Lord has done.

I’m grateful for family, friends and loved ones… I’m grateful for friends who, even when deeply hurt and broken, have learned to move on in life… Grateful for those who dared to take that much needed step toward achieving their dreams… Grateful for friends who took that stepped out in faith and ventured out, away from what they call home, holding on to nothing but the surety of Christ’s everlasting presence with them.

I’m grateful for every fear, anxious thought and breakdown I’ve faced in 2015, as each of them reminded and convinced me of how much I need to cling to the Lord.

I’m grateful for every promise given, fulfilled and yet to be fulfilled, both in my life and in the lives of my loved ones.

I’m grateful for God’s mercies, which, as promised in the Bible, have been new EVERY morning. I’m grateful for His undying love and unconditional grace… Above all, I’m grateful for God’s great faithfulness in both my life and yours.

As we enter in to 2016, may I encourage us to remind ourselves that even though the year is new and everything it brings is new, we serve a God who is the same yesterday, today and forever! Because He is constant, we can fearlessly step in to the unknown.

Happy New Year!

In closing I must say – I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord!

The King’s Heart

On By Rachel ChadalavadaIn Future, Uncategorized, UncertaintyLeave a comment

In one of my previous blog posts, I told you about the journey that brought me to Samaritan’s Purse’s Operation Christmas Child. If you haven’t read that one yet, stop reading and click here. Have you read that yet? Okay, now that you are completely updated with my life, you may continue reading.

January 26, 2016 will mark the last day of my position as a Media Relations Associate (yes, that is in fact, less than two months away). I have loved everything I’ve done in this role and I adore the people in my department. Each of them stands tall, radiating the love of Jesus and that just reminds me of how blessed I am to be a part of this team. With that being said, I have been praying earnestly about where the Lord would have me after I graduate from this role. I’ve already told you that God’s not calling me to India. Not yet at least. But the fun part is, I don’t know where He is calling me to. So yay! With Jesus, life is always an adventure. I don’t know anyone else who can make uncertainty, something to look forward to – It’s like a surprise party EVERY TIME! (Notice how I transitioned from fearful to fearless?!!!)

All that to say, I have been job-hunting again. We all know how exciting an ordeal that is *rolling eyes*! However, for a “non-resident alien” such as myself and every other international person living in the United States, job hunting is so much more than just finding a job. We have to get very specific in the kind of positions we apply to because of our visa restrictions. Basically, when an employer hires an international, they have to prove to the government that that particular position cannot be filled by an American citizen because it calls for a very specific skillset which only an international has. Now, if you know me, you know that there isn’t anything extraordinary about me. I don’t mean that in a self-deprecating way but in an I-know-my-limits kind of way. With that sense of self-awareness, I prayed that the Lord would show me what I can bring to the table that an American cannot. I soon realized that the only thing I can bring, is my Indian heritage. So, I laid that before the Lord and asked Him how I can use my ethnicity for His glory.

Fast-forward two weeks after I made that prayer. I was looking for jobs and found one that was aimed at South-Asia, the very part of the world that I am from. Super excited I read through the position and found out it was at least four levels up on the corporate ladder than the position I was currently in. No way would I ever qualify for that! Disheartened I closed the webpage and got on with my work. However, for the life of me I couldn’t think past that position. I almost felt it was an answer to the prayer I made offering my heritage and ethnicity to the Lord. Other than the fact that that position was so high up, I was perfect for it. I soaked it in prayer not quite sure what to ask for and what response to expect. I decided I was going to talk about applying to that position, with the person to whom that position reports. After a very healthy conversation, this person suggested I speak to the others in the department who work in similar roles so I can learn a little about what that position entails. So, that’s exactly what I did.

I arranged to meet with each of these people over lunch. I started with Mr. A. As he shared his experiences and challenges with me, I felt this overwhelming sense of unworthiness. I saw how small I was for the job. I thought of a bajillion reasons why I shouldn’t be doing it. The feeling of smallness was overbearing. I was giving God reasons why He should find someone else for that position. At the very end of the conversation, Mr. A asked me why I was having this conversation (I hadn’t mentioned anything about the job to him or to anyone else that I spoke to). I gave him an honest response and then added that while I would absolutely LOVE working in that position, I felt small and inadequate. I told him that the Lord needed to find someone else. He just looked at me and said, “Who are you to decide that?” He then pointed me to one of the greatest kings in history – King David – The youngest of Jesse’s sons. He was also the smallest. In his own strength, David was completely incapable of being a king. So much so, that the prophet Samuel found it hard to believe that God would choose someone as insignificant as David. Mr. A smiled at me and said, “It is not your job to wonder if you will get this position or not. Your job is only to be available should the Lord choose you for it. If God wants you to fill the position, He will work in the heart of the leadership. You only need to be still.”

I went home that day and thought about what Mr. A said. I needed to hear that because whether I acknowledge it or not, I was putting God in a box and dictating what He can and cannot do for me. As His child, someone who truly believes that He can do anything… the very impossible thing even, I should aim high. I should seek after dreams that I can never fulfill on my own. After all, is anything too hard for the Lord?

I learned that day that the king’s heart is in the Lord’s hand (Proverbs 21:1). And for me, that should be the only thing that matters. Whether I get the position or not is not the question here. The question here is – Am I willing to let the Lord work in my life? Am I willing to ask Him for what seems like the impossible and truly believe that He is able to do it? Am I willing to aim high, reach for the stars and seek after that which I cannot accomplish on my own? Or, am I living a life that is limited by my idea of skills and abilities?

Although it is not always easy, I now truly believe that the king’s heart is in the Lord’s hand. Do you?

In closing I have to say – I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord!

In Control? Seriously?

On By Rachel ChadalavadaIn Chaos, UncertaintyLeave a comment

Chaos! Chaos everywhere! Is there an end to all the innocent blood that is being shed? The Bible did predict this thousands of years ago – “You will hear of wars and rumors of wars … Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be famines and earthquakes in various places (Matt 24:6-7)” – but it still is disheartening, discouraging and scary!

As I read the news about the recent bombings and bloodshed, I couldn’t help but wonder – Is God even watching all of this? Does He even care?

As a by-stander, a third person, I can safely say that the Lord is sovereign, He knows all things, etc., etc., the typical Christian outlook on things. But then I wonder, what about the people in the heart of this situation? What about the people who are injured and struggling between life and death in the hospital – would they think God is control? What about those whose bodies have been shred to pieces – would their families think God is in control? What about the wife who didn’t have a chance to say goodbye to her husband – would she think God is in control? What about the little boy who will never see his mom again – would he think God is in control? What about the father who is mourning the loss of his child – would he think God is in control? What about those who witnessed the blast, witnessed the loss of innocent blood, witnessed people being burnt, body parts flinging across the skies – would they think God is in control? What about the man who lost his arm, the woman who has to live without legs her entire life? What about the bride-to-be whose entire body is now scarred and face disfigured – would she think God is in control?

And as I sat back in reflection, I looked up and asked, “Lord, don’t You see? Don’t You care? Do You even know how it feels?”

And then, all of a sudden I felt something wet trickle down beside me – blood! Lots of it! I screamed! I got scared! It wasn’t my blood. Someone else was hurt and they were hurt real bad. I ran around looking for them. I stepped on something – it was a piece of flesh. I got even more scared! Was I at the scene of the bomb blast? I panicked. I looked around again. I ran. I bumped in to the tree. When I fell down, I saw another chunk of flesh! Wait! This didn’t seem like the effect of a blast. It seemed more like the flesh that was ripped off of someone’s body. Ewww!!! Who would do something like that?!!! I followed the blood trail as it led me up a hill top. The amount of blood I saw made me ask this question – after all this, does the person who is hurt,  even have a drop of blood remaining in his body?.I looked up at this man, completely bruised, blood all over his body, his face and body disfigured by what seemed like injuries made by a whip. The soldier stabbed the man in his side with a spear, and I had the answer to my question – there was indeed no more blood left in his body. Only serum oozed out. Every single drop of blood was shed. I watched this man, beaten, flogged, injured, disfigured beyond recognition. As darkness spread across the skies, I watched his body slump against the rugged cross. I watched the woman at his feet, weeping the loss of her son. I watched the expression of his friends who watched his horrific death. I watched as his father ran his fingers over his torn body. I watched as the soldiers got him off the cross. I watched as his parents went hysterical over their son’s lifeless body. I watched as his heavenly Father turned His face away. I watched as the innocent lamb was slain. I watched as the perfect sacrifice was made. I watched as the ransom was paid. I listened as I recollected what he’d said – “Father, in to Your hands I commit my spirit. It is finished!”

I shut my eyes at the revelation. Unshed tears now flowing down, as I reflected on the questions I raised just a few minutes ago, to the One Who I thought had distanced Himself from the suffering and injustice in this world.

“Lord, don’t You see? Don’t You care? Do You even know how it feels?”

And Jesus stretched out His nail pierced hands and said, “I know how it feels. I understand”

I knew then – I don’t have to wonder if God is still in control. He is. He sees. He knows. But He isn’t sitting with His arms folded – “The day is coming when the wicked will be judged, and justice will be served – For behold, the day is coming, burning like a furnace; and all the arrogant and every evildoer will be chaff; and the day that is coming will set them ablaze,” says the LORD of hosts (Malachi 4:1)

Until then,

My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus’ blood and righteousness.

I dare not trust the sweetest frame but wholly lean on Jesus’ name!

On Christ the solid rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand!

The Lord is in His holy temple. Let all the earth keep silent before Him!

In closing I have to say, I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord!

Help Me! I’m Desperate!

On By Rachel ChadalavadaIn Future, Uncertainty2 Comments

I’m going to start off by saying that God is good. He knows the hearts of His children and He knows how to meet them at their point of need. He did this for me and I know He will do it for you too.

Many of you know that I am currently employed and absolutely LOVE what I do. I adore the organization I work with and I am convinced without a shadow of doubt that God placed me here and there is purpose in EVERYTHING He does. That said, I should also acknowledge that the position I am in right now is temporary and as January comes to an end, so will my employment. But I’m not afraid. Not any more.

Before I accepted this position, I was in a waiting period that lasted 7months – Seven excruciatingly painful months of waiting! In those months I did everything that was expected of me. I did my part. Yet, nothing worked out for me. I started applying for jobs in December 2014. I followed up with applications and put in more in February. I applied for my OPT and got my paperwork done earlier than I needed to. I did everything right. I knew exactly what I wanted. I wanted a full time job that would sponsor an H1B. Actually, I didn’t even want the employer to sponsor me. I just wanted them to be open to the idea of sponsorship. I told myself if that happened, God would work everything else out.

In those seven months I laughed at the irony of having 6yrs of work experience, two master’s degrees and still being completely incapable of securing a job. I cried at the helplessness of being an international student and having nothing more to offer than an average American citizen. I was mad at the complete lack of response from companies and organizations I applied to. I was frustrated with potential employers who conducted hour-long interviews only to turn around and tell me that they didn’t want to hire me because of my visa restrictions. I prayed desperately, almost begging God to take me back to India, but He told me I had to stay here – in a country where I was an “alien.” He laid it on my heart to make America my home… at least for the moment. That knowledge frustrated me even more because now I knew I had to stay in this country but I had no clue as to how I would.

I tried to stay encouraged. I smiled and I applied for more and more jobs. I told everyone who asked that I was trusting the Lord. I told them He was in control. But in the stillness of the night I felt like a complete failure. I felt like an idiot who couldn’t get her act together. I cried myself to sleep every other night and the nights I didn’t cry, I hardly slept. I became desperate. I was willing to do any job as long as it had to do with my education. I took my list of “conditions for employment” and threw it in the trashcan.

In my utterly desperate state, tears flowing down my face, I fell to the ground and surrendered EVERYTHING to the Lord. For the first time in those 7months, I asked Jesus to have His way. I told Him I’d take whatever job He would give me. Temporary. Part time. Whatever He would say, I would do. Wherever He would send me, I would go. No questions asked. I didn’t lay out for Him the importance of finding a full time employment; neither did I point out to Him my need for an employment visa. For once, I just trusted that He knew best.

Then it happened. One day, an angel who shall remain unnamed (you know who you are), fought for me. Her kindness toward me and her persistence toward the position opened the doors to Operation Christmas Child for me. For a moment I hesitated because taking up a temporary position would mean that I would go through a waiting period again. But I was reminded by the Psalmist when he said, “In You our fathers trusted; they trusted and You delivered them” (Psalm 22:4). God’s deliverance came AFTER His people trusted Him. Not the other way around.

With that, I walked into my position as a Media Relations Associate. From the day I started working there, to this very day, I have LOVED every single moment of my employment. Regardless of what I do – perhaps I’m just sending out an email, or I’m recording who is doing what interview and where… I know that there is a greater cause. God knew that to me, only two things truly mattered – Jesus and children – both of which are wonderfully fulfilled at Operation Christmas Child.

Even though I have less than three months of employment left, I know I have played a role in planting the seeds of Jesus’ love in the hearts of children around the world. I am happy. I am content. I’m humbled and convinced that God’s not done with me yet.

What is the point this post you ask? It is this – Sometimes, God has to bring us to extremely desperate seasons in our life for us to stop, and just completely trust Him. If I didn’t come to a point of desperation, I would not have obeyed the Lord in serving Operation Christmas Child. Even before I knew it, Jesus knew that I loved children. Even before I knew it, Jesus knew my heart. He knew my need. When I humbled myself because of my desperation, He gave me the best. By mid-December, I would have travelled to six different cities, addressed gatherings of 200 youth, done three radio interviews, addressed a church on a televised program, and flown to California (yes!), all of which will point people to the needs of children around the world, the greatest need being to hear of the love of Jesus.

In your desperation, remember, God may just be fine-tuning your ears to pay attention to His voice.

In closing I have to say – I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord!

Overwhelmed Much?

On By Rachel ChadalavadaIn Chaos, Uncertainty, WorshipLeave a comment

Recently I committed to reading the Bible cover to cover. Wait, let me rephrase that. I recently committed to STUDYING the Bible from cover to cover. The difference between the two words makes a world of a difference! So far, I have been able to read from Genesis through Nehemiah. I am currently reading the book of Job.

Funny story – I was sitting by Bass lake earlier today, reading my Bible. An elderly lady walked past me and asked if I was reading my Bible. When I responded yes, she wanted to know what book I was reading and I told her. She smiled at me and asked me if the reason I was reading it was because I was having troubles. Lol!

It is unfortunate isn’t it that we associate the book of Job with the troubles he went through, his whining, annoying friends…? I know that the book has a happy ending, as I believe every story should. But what caught my attention isn’t the ending. It is the beginning. Let me explain.

If you know the story of Job at all, you will remember that God permits Satan to try Job because God was confident that he would not turn his back on Him. Job was living a happy and content life. But before he knew it, BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! Four catastrophes occurred, one after another.

  1. The Sabeans attacked and took all the oxen and the donkeys.

  2. Lightening struck all of his sheep.

  3. The Chaldeans made a raid and stole all the camels.

  4. ALL of Job’s children died – Not one, not two… ALL of them! 

Let’s take a moment and think about this. The Bible says that each of these incidents were reported to Job by a servant… the one servant that survived each of these catastrophes. That said, I encourage you to read the passage for yourself (Job 1: 13-22) and take into consideration the words the writer of this book uses to indicate how the servants brought these reports to Job. The Bible says, “While he was still speaking…” These words precede every incident. In other words, before Job even had the time to process one tragedy, another struck. Before he could come to terms with one loss, another hit. Talk about beating the wind out of someone!

His response to this overwhelming heart ache? He fell to the ground and WORSHIPPED! (Job 1:20)

I don’t know what it is that you are feeling overwhelmed about. May be you’ve received information that is life changing? Perhaps you are apprehensive about the future? Could it be that your present makes no sense? Or, you’ve lost a dear one? May be you just found out that you have a huge payment to make and you are completely broke? May I be so bold as to say – Regardless of your situation, would you like Job consider bowing down in worship?

Worshipping God in times of testing isn’t the most easiest of things to do. It probably will not solve your problems. However, bowing down in worship will give you the strength, the courage and the peace you need to catch a breath and humble yourself before the Lord, reminding yourself of who truly is in control. Worship is our way of stepping back and letting God bring order in to our chaos!

I doubt any of us is as overwhelmed as Job was. So, despite what he was going through, if he could fall down in worship, so can we!

In closing I have to say – I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord!