One of the first things you’ll know about me is this – I talk to everybody. I am there for everybody. I’m a friend to everybody. However, I am very intentional about who I allow into my inner-circle. I am cautious about who I allow to invest in my life. I am careful about who I allow to see me. I know that sounds bad, but it is said, “You are only going to be as good as the people you surround yourself with.” The Bible too vouches for the same idea: “The righteous choose their friends carefully” (Proverbs 12:26a); “Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm” (Proverbs 13:20). So if I call you my “Friend” you know that it is by choice. I choose you – Our relationship didn’t happen by chance. I’m sure you see the wisdom in this. So tell me, what happens when one of these carefully, intentionally chosen and loved relationships fails you?

An incident in the recent past had taken me on a rather confusing roller coaster ride with one of my most cherished friendships, leaving me feeling sad, hurt, rejected and forsaken. The dictionary definition for the term “Forsaken” is “Abandoned” or “Deserted” and yes, that pretty much sums up how I felt. Another thing you’ll know about me is that when I face crap like this, I like to quickly deal with it and move on – That’s exactly what I did. I dealt with it, forgave, asked for forgiveness, and moved on. Until, everything resurfaced this morning, when a friend in church decided to shed more light on this incident and let me tell you, the end of that conversation left me feeling smaller than the size of a pea. Now listen, this isn’t the first time I’ve been deeply hurt by friends I love and would easily take a bullet for, and I know that unfortunately this won’t be the last. But that doesn’t mean that it gets any easier, or that the pain isn’t intense. So, I did the one thing that I knew to do… I asked the Lord and myself, “Where did I go wrong?” “What did I not see?” Surely I missed something somewhere. Why else would it come to this? Why else would everything go wrong?

These thoughts swirling in my mind, I walked on to the stage, consciously deciding to switch gears from my aching heart to worshipping a sovereign God. As the music began to play, I held my microphone in my hand and waited for the lyrics to show up on the screen. The music-intro to the song was almost through but the lyrics never showed. We somehow managed to croon through the first verse… still no lyrics. All the video screens just shut down and NOTHING was working. EVERYTHING seemed to go wrong.

Now, I know what you’re thinking – technical errors happen ALL the time. Why should I make it seem like such a big deal? Well, it’s a big deal because while this scenario may perhaps be common to other churches, it isn’t common to mine. We are well prepared. The production team works tirelessly from the previous evening, making sure everything is in order. They arrive super early on Sunday morning to run through the videos, the sound check, the slide shows, the lyrics for all the songs… They do EVERYTHING in their power to ensure there isn’t a technical glitch like there was right now.

In the midst of this chaotic yet, the-show-must-go-on moment, I felt a stirring in my spirit that left me with this question – “So, where did the production team go wrong?” I realized that while I had tried to mentally switch gears, the Lord was in the mood to address and lay my concerns to rest then and there. My response, all while struggling to recollect the lyrics of the song we were still singing, was, “Nothing Lord. Not a thing.” They did everything in their power to make sure there was no technical glitch. In that moment I felt the Lord assure me that sometimes, even when you do EVERYTHING right, crap happens. You lose your job. You get skipped for a promotion. Someone else takes your place. You pay the price for someone else’s mistakes. You get blamed for something you had nothing to do with. You get hurt. You end up hurting.

Nobody wakes up thinking, “Oh, let me hurt my friend today.” It just happens. But in the midst of that crap, something else happens – You see, God is in the business of bringing beauty from ashes (Isaiah 61:3).

When the lyrics didn’t show up on the screen, the worship team sang the chorus from memory, and when we couldn’t remember any more, we just stopped singing the song that we rehearsed and couldn’t find the words to, and ended up singing a new song… a song that birthed in the hearts and mouths of everyone on the worship team, out of an adoration for their Savior, that wasn’t limited to the lyrics of the song. The audience poured out their hearts in praise… people raised their hands, knelt down on the ground… laid prostrate on the floor… turns out, nobody cared that there was a technical glitch. In that moment of everything just shutting down, true and pure worship… worship not limited to words penned by someone else, was rendered.

This experience in no way answered why I was treated the way I did or why my friend chose to forsake me. And if I’m honest, I know they didn’t intend to hurt me… It just happened. It was a technical glitch beyond my control, and possibly theirs as well. But in the midst of that hurt, the worship I choose to render to this God Who, in His divine wisdom, thought that it was in my best interest to go through the pain of this situation, is the sweetest and most genuine of all! 

“I love You Lord, and I lift my voice, to worship You. Oh my soul, rejoice!
Take joy my King in what You hear. May it be a sweet, sweet sound in Your ear.”

In closing I must say – I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord.