Today marks two and a half months (10 weeks) of being here in South Sudan. Time flies when you’re having fun they say. However, ‘Fun’ isn’t the term you’d use for life here. Not because it’s not comfortable or convenient, but because the dire situation of people living in physical and spiritual brokenness will leave you distraught. It will make you question if anything you’re doing is worth it, or if you are even making a dent.

Over the past few weeks, I’ve been traveling to our various field sites and the things I’ve seen have left a lasting impression on my heart. I can’t ever un-see them. I’ve seen a whole county of people who are mere skin and bones. I’ve watched children running around naked because they don’t have a choice. They simply don’t have clothes. I’ve heard stories of how, when the country was in crisis, women fled with their children, while their husbands were being hacked to death. I’ve seen the faces of helpless refugees, and I’ve shaken hands with hungry children.

However, I have also seen little bright faces find immense joy in seeing a ‘Khawaja’ – anyone who is light skinned. A foreigner if you will. I’ve heard giggles of young boys and girls as they lay down nets to catch fish in mucky flood waters. I’ve borne witness to a community that is resilient and strong. I’ve seen women who sacrifice their own food rations, to help their neighbor who doesn’t have enough. I’ve seen people who serve refugees in South Sudan, while their own families live as refugees in the neighboring countries of Kenya, Uganda and even Ethiopia. And I’ve watched them serve with enthusiasm, love and compassion. It is one thing to leave your family and go to another country for work. It’s a whole other story for you to stay back to work, while sending your family to another country as refugees. The sacrifice is too great. Yet, for the sake of the calling, completely worth it.

South Sudan has humbled me in more ways than I can fully understand, and has taught me lessons that I’m still trying to process. For all the questions raised at my decision to move here, I can say this – I did the right thing answering the call. I regret nothing. Even though I don’t directly work with refugees and people living in extreme poverty, I get to support those who do. And I am deeply grateful to be able to do so.

I’ve learned so much in the short time I’ve lived here.

I’ve learned that you can’t feed the soul without first feeding the body. It is hard for anyone to pay attention to anything when all you can hear is the rumbling sound of hunger pangs. Jesus took care of both the spiritual AND the physical needs of people.

God cares deeply about the widows, the orphans, the stranger and the poor. If He didn’t, what exactly am I, and every other humanitarian aid worker doing in South Sudan?

Recently, I’ve been thinking a lot about the massive need there is in this country, and how much we are even able to do. I wonder often if this peoples suffering will ever end. And I wonder if the work we do makes enough of a difference, to all these people. As I pondered about this, I was reminded about the parable of the lost sheep, where Jesus talks about the shepherd who left 99 sheep behind, to go find that one lost sheep. Now I understand that the context of that story is very different from this current scenario. Hear me out nonetheless. This tale playing in my mind, I read a quote, I’m not sure who it is by, which says – “Jesus leaving the 99 to find one seems illogical, irrational and senseless, until that one is you!” And somehow it all just clicked. I realized that it doesn’t matter if the work we are doing is impacting and transforming the lives of a large number of Sudanese (refugees) and South Sudanese (host community) folk. If we are able to transform one life, then everything that we do here is worth it. In a world that only speaks the language of numbers, I am reminded that if Jesus ran after the one, then nothing should stop me from doing so as well.

Not being able to do enough, is no excuse for not doing anything at all.

So, was moving to South Sudan worth it? – Yes. A million times yes!

As you read this post, I hope you will take some time to pray for this country. Jesus is the hope for South Sudan. For now, I get to be His hands and feet here and for that, I am grateful.

In closing I must say, I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord!

DISCLAIMER: All views, opinions and ideas in this post and blog, are personal and do not reflect or represent those of my employer.

PS: Don’t miss admiring the confident pose of the little man in the extreme left in the photograph above, who is not a part of this family, but didn’t bat an eyelid to be a part of the picture. Haha! Kids right? 😉 #precious