No matter how much you prepare yourself, I don’t think you can ever truly be ready for that dreaded call. It comes though – sooner or later. If you are lucky, you will be the one to make that call. But if you are not, then you will be the one to receive it – like me.

My sister called me this morning at 6am. As the Lord would have it, my dad went home to be with Him. All I could do in that moment was regret not being there physically with him when it happened. I know that there isn’t a thing that I could’ve done. But I wish I was there. So, as I often do, I took this sadness to the Lord in prayer. I said to Him, “Lord, I wish I was there when my dad died.” This loving Father reminded me, “You were there when he was alive.” And it’s true. I was. I was there earlier this month to celebrate 75yrs of God’s faithfulness in my dad’s life. I was there to talk to him one last time last night.

But what if I wasn’t? What if I got caught up in the busyness of life? What if I didn’t take that extra minute to hug him and tell him I loved him? What if I brushed away his concerns about moving to South Sudan? What if I never visited him while he was still here? What if I let resentment creep him for all the things that he did or didn’t do? What if? What if? What if? Would I have been able to live with that kind of regret? That would be a resounding ABSOLUTELY NOT!

I think about how this God who created my inmost being, knew my inmost being, and knew how important it was for me to be there with my dad. When my US visa didn’t come through three years ago, it didn’t feel like God had my best interest at heart. Now in hindsight, I know that He did. Staying home for three years without a full time job seemed painful and frustrating at the time. It didn’t feel like God had my best interest at heart. Now in hindsight, I know that He did.

These past three years my sister and I were able to spend time with my dad – time that was rich in both quality and quantity. We got to boss him around and he got to drive us up the wall. He got to steal all my tshirts and I got to pretend that it bothered me. My sister and I got to be his courage and my mom’s strength when things got bad. We got to have deep, meaningful conversations with my dad – someone who was a man of very few words. So were my “shattered dreams,” my “disappointments,” my “frustrations” worth it? Absolutely. If I had to do it again, I would in a heart beat.

I may not have been there when my dad took his final breath. But I made sure I was there every other moment. The love of his life, my mom, got to share that very last moment with him. I guess, in the grander scheme of things, it was good for her, the one who made a lifetime of vows to him, to be by his side. I wouldn’t have seen it that way but God did. My mom was not alone though. She has two strong pillars by her side – My sister and my brother in law. And soon I will join them too.

My sweet daddy went to be with the Lord today. I’ve never met anyone more resilient than him. He fought long and he fought hard. And now, finally, he gets to rest. He doesn’t have to fight any more. He has finished the race. He has kept the faith. And because of Jesus’ finished work on the cross, I will see him again! May be not today, may be not tomorrow, but one day I will, and I will celebrate in heaven alongside him, as I have done on earth.

For now, you take rest daddy. Until I see you again, I love you!

In closing I must say – I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord!