Death changes us. Sometimes it changes us more than life ever will. Losing my father was the most gut-wrenching thing I have ever experienced. How can a person be missed so much, is beyond me. It’s not like I’ve never been without my dad. I lived overseas for three years and in that time I saw my dad twice. It’s not like I spoke to him everyday. I may have spoken to him for a few minutes once a week. We were close and yet we weren’t. We were apart and yet so close. I think it’s the finality of death that makes this separation so hard.

The irony of life isn’t it? They say you don’t truly value something until you don’t have it any more. But the truth is, when you lose something, or in this case, someone you value with all your heart, the loss is unimaginable. And I wish no one has to go through it. Ever. Death makes the need for salvation that much more evident. God knew that death would destroy us – Mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually. After my dad died, I couldn’t read my Bible or pray for almost a month. But in the stillness of the night, as I wiped my tears away, I knew I wasn’t alone. I’m never alone. Especially when I’ve been the saddest, and most devastated, I’ve felt the loving arms of my Father, who would hold me as I sobbed my grief. No words were spoken, no advise was rendered. In the stillness, in the quietness, among the sniffling sobs, God was being God, and I was His grieving child, and I experienced the truth of His Word that assures me – The Lord is near to the brokenhearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit (Psalm 34:18).

Often times when my sister and I talk about my dad, she says to me, “How did we get so mad with him re?” Let me give you some context to that statement – My dad was a wonderful man, but he was an incredibly stubborn man. If he made up his mind about something, heaven help you if you try to change it. He was a poster boy for patient in the hospital, but when he came home, discharged, and had to stick to a new schedule and follow dietary restrictions, let me tell you, you’d think the terrible-twos were angels. He drove us up the wall! But now that he isn’t here anymore to send me down the path of insanity, that side of him never comes to mind. All I can think of, are the wonderful moments I spent with him. Whether it was going for a late night drive to get ice-cream, or it was a heart-to-heart on choosing the right life partner, one that I would choose, the memories I hold dear have nothing to do with things that annoyed me about him – because those things, they simply do not matter.

So then I have to stop and wonder – What if we treated the living like we treat the dead? What if we loved one another with only our positive in focus? What if the negatives didn’t matter as much? What if they didn’t weigh into our decision-making? “He never does anything at home!” “She always nags me!” “She is always hogging the television!” “He never listens to me!” What if these didn’t matter as much as the love we have for each other? What if we loved one another in a way is patient, and kind and not jealous? What if we didn’t brag, nor be arrogant? What if we didn’t behave unbecomingly nor seek our own? What if we didn’t get provoked, nor take into account a wrong suffered, nor rejoice in unrighteousness? What if the love we have would rejoice with the truth? What if we bear all things, believe all things, hope all things, and endure all things? If we did, our love wouldn’t fail. Love never fails (1 Corinthians 13:4-8).

So let me ask you – Must we really lose a life before we truly value them? Must it really cost someone their final breath to fully cherish their worth?

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love
(1 Corinthians 13:13).

In closing I must say – I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord