Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live, and everyone who lives and believes in me shall never die. Do you believe this?” ~ John 11:25-26

The title of this post may sound morbid, but I assure you, the content in and of itself is worth the read. I’ve been thinking a lot about death and dying the past few weeks, and more so for the past few days. This is probably because I miss my dad. Very much. Not a single day goes by without me thinking about him. Later this month, it will be six months since he went home to be with Jesus. Some people who have witnessed my dad’s life may feel that he just didn’t catch a break and that life was unfair to him. He suffered long and hard. But when I look at his life, especially his season of illness, all I see is unperceivable grace and God’s abundant, unmerited favor. Through every illness – Stroke, bypass surgery, chronic kidney disease, kidney failure and finally sepsis, God’s goodness over his life and his condition is undeniable.

The most intimate moments I shared with my dad were when I was with him in the hospital. Over a span of three years, these days were many – they were more than I would like to admit. During this time, we talked some about life, but we talked more about death – Specifically HIS death. I hated it. I wish we didn’t discuss it but he somehow found comfort in talking about it so I would indulge in conversation. Through every conversation I could see that while I feared losing him, he didn’t for a minute fear death. It was as if death had no hold on him. The minute he said anything remotely close to dying, I would jump in and say, “How can you die dad? Don’t you want to see me get married? Don’t you want to spoil your future grandchildren?” I tried to be cute and lighten the mood, and he would smile and say, “I will see you get married. I’ll see you from heaven.”

I am not afraid of death. It doesn’t scare me one bit. I say that now as I face a bright future ahead of me. But what about someone who isn’t sure they have a future? What about someone for whom death is lurking close by? Would they stand fearless? My dad was that someone. And man was he dauntless.

Since my dad fell ill, I have been sensitive to the needs of people who do not have that much of a future ahead of them. Please don’t get me wrong. I have no doubt that God is more than able to heal anyone and everyone. But I also know that death is inevitable. I’ve met people who are petrified of undergoing minor procedures because they are afraid they might die. I’ve met others who are in fact facing the reality of death head on, but are facing it with fear. They’re scared. It makes me wonder – What about death scares someone? Is it that they are missing out on life? Could it be that they’re afraid of their families moving on without them? Or is it that there is nothing more uncertain than death? After all, no one has ever come back from death, to tell us what it is like, or to coach us through it, or to assure us that there is more to life than just living and dying. What if I told you there actually was someone like that?

My dad was never a vocal Christian. He didn’t talk a lot about his faith. He chose to live it. While I witnessed my dad’s faith in the way he lived, I witnessed his faith more in the way he died. He faced it without fear. He was dauntless. This was not because he had no fear. It was because he overcame it. In the midst of a lot of pain and suffering and uncertainty, he attributed his peace and hope to Jesus Christ. After all, He is the only one who faced death with certainty. He beat death once and for all. An empty grave is there to prove my Jesus lives! He is proof that there is more to life, and there is more to death. He is the certainty of life after death. My dad had that certainty because he had a relationship with Jesus. In John 10:14, Jesus says, “After a little while the world will no longer see Me, but you will see Me; because I live, you will live also.”

There are some journeys in life that you have to go through alone. No one can walk them with you. Death is one such journey. I was with my dad through every single one of his illnesses. I was with him when he was rushed from hospital to hospital. I was with him when we brought him back home. I was with him when his sugars fell in the middle of the night. I was there to sneak in his favorite snacks when he was undergoing dialysis. I was there to feed him his meals when he was too weak to eat them himself or when he just wanted to be pampered. I was next to him when he stared at the IV drip and wondered how long he had to live this way. He had his down times. He was sad and sometimes depressed. But his peace and joy NEVER left him. He demonstrated the difference between happiness and joy – One is circumstantial. The other, an overflow of a relationship with the One in Whom is life abundant. The only time I couldn’t be with my dad was when he breathed his last. I couldn’t be with him in death. No one could. That moment, and every moment since, are between him, and his God.

The closer my dad got to death, the more intimate his relationship became with Jesus. His prayers became a conversation as one with whom the connection is deep and certain. As I watched my dad live his best life while on the path to the grave, I learned a very important truth – Your perception and certainty of what happens after death, will inevitably shape and impact how you live, and how you die.

On December 22, 2019 my dad was finally laid to rest. At this very moment he is chilling with Jesus, the angels, his parents and my mom’s parents, and so many other precious friends and loved ones who have gone ahead of me. I know without a shadow of doubt, that when my time comes – whether that be today, tomorrow, or several years from now, I will be reunited with him in heaven. I am certain of it.

That said, my family and I continue to grieve. Of course we do. We miss him. But as much is true, that “we do not grieve as those without hope. For since we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so, through Jesus, God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him. According to the Lord’s word, we tell you that we who are still alive, will certainly not precede those who have fallen asleep. For the dead in Christ will rise again” (1 Thessalonians 4:14-15 paraphrased).

One of my dad’s favorite songs goes like this –

And then one day, I’ll cross that river
I’ll fight that final war with pain
And then as death gives way to victory
I’ll see the light of glory and I’ll know He lives! Because He lives I can face tomorrow. Because He lives, ALL FEAR IS GONE.

O death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting?” The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law; but thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ ~ 1 Corinthians 15:55-57

“For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain” ~ Philippians 1:21

In closing I have to say – I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord